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Kelly
Rockstar October 2023

Memorial at Wedding

Kelly, on September 7, 2022 at 8:49 AM Posted in Do It Yourself 0 16

My dad died last week. I want to memorialize him and my grandmother, who died last year, at my wedding. Any suggestions? I have a rectangular vase that funeral flowers were in that I can use for him and a shadow box for my grandmother. I know memorials can be polarizing, but I'm going to do it so please don't tell me not to.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Kayla, on October 23, 2022 at 3:33 PM
  • Andrea
    Beginner November 2022
    Andrea ·
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    I’m so sorry to hear that your dad passed away. I have a sister who passed a couple years ago and so I’m remembrance of her I have some little pictures frames that will hook onto my bouquet and dangle down. I got them at hobby lobby. It’s something simple but it will help me feel like she is by my side all day. Memorial at Wedding 1

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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad before the wedding (though not in quite such close proximity). Additionally, we each had three grandparents pass before the wedding.

    We had photos placed of our parents on their wedding days, with their parents on the guest book table. I wore a locket with my dad's picture in it, so he could be with me on the day. Additionally, my brother walked me down the aisle, and when the officiant asked "who presents this woman," his response was "on behalf of those who are here, and those who are unable to be, I do" - as a nod to the fact that my dad should, and would, have been there (and he would have loved my husband - they never got to meet). I danced with my brother to the song from which my dad got his nickname for me.

    It was hard. Remember that you're going to have a *lot* of emotions on your wedding day, and some of them are probably going to be sad - try to let yourself feel the sad ones too. I missed my dad terribly on that day (still do, but it's less "immediate") but that's part of it.

    I do not recommend the empty chair, because I feel like that makes it more difficult than it has to be.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    Thanks. I'm sorry for your losses. I definitely won't do empty chairs because that sounds like a logistical nightmare. I'm going to have a little table set up with my grandma's shadowbox and the candy that she loved. I just don't know what to do for my dad.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    Thanks. It's a nice idea but I think I'd end up ripping them off accidentally.

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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
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    So sorry to hear about your dad Kelly! I can’t even imagine. Please be sure to give yourself time to grieve. Sending you hugs 💕
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  • R
    Rosebud Online ·
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    Oh Kelly I m so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending you the biggest of hugs. You do what feels right and true for you. You can do photos of your dad or a little locket with his photo, a friend of mine had a piece of her father's favorite tie sewn into her wedding dress (this can also be done with a t-shirt), it wasn't visible but it was very special for her. You can serve his favorite dessert or maybe name a signature drink after him. Did you have any inside jokes with your dad that you can do a sweet nod to?

    Earlier this year I lost someone extremely close to me I still cannot look at photos of him without falling apart so I m not doing photos but I have a little rainbow charm I m adding to the bouquet (he always sent me photos of rainbows after a storm) and will be having a little cardinal lantern out. As a child after someone passed my mom always used to tell me to look for cardinals because a cardinal symbolized a loved one coming for a visit. The day after he passed I went for a walk and a cardinal landed at my feet. It was such a sweet moment. I was recently gifted a quilt that was made from his t-shirts, it won't be at the wedding but I love wrapping myself up in it when I m feeling extra sad.

    It can be so confusing and difficult to be going through some of life's saddest moments and life's most joyful moment at the same time. If you need anything please post, and remember to be extra kind and gentle with yourself. Grief is a weird thing and can sneak up on you in unexpected ways and moment. Sending so much love to youSmiley heart

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  • E
    Beginner August 2023
    Emily ·
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    I am so sorry for your loss. My mom unexpectedly passed a few months before my first wedding. To honor her I had the florist put one of her favorite flowers (a sunflower) in my bouquet. I also had a message that she wrote me sharing her congrats and excitement about the wedding printed and framed to put out for guests to read. There are many ways to honor a memory during a wedding from favorite flowers, drinks, inside jokes, etc. Did the two of you share a favorite song you could walk down the aisle to or use as a recessional?
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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    The way you honored your departed loved ones was truly beautiful. I'm very sorry for your loss.
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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Sending love and light to you all. Just as the others have said, you do what's in your heart; that's always the right thing for you. I lost my dad last year. He never met my fiance but mom says, my dad would love him. My dad gave my mother a necklace with a cross on it as an engagement gift. Inplan to wear it, in honor of him when I get married. Maybe if you something he gave you at your wedding, it could be a source of comfort. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    Thank you. I'm sorry for you loss as well. His favorite dessert would be a nice addition.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    Thanks. I'm sorry for your loss as well. My dad and I had different tastes in music, so I don't think a song would work. I'm honoring my grandmother with a shadowbox our cousin made when she died and a bowl of her favorite candy. I was thinking of doing something similar for my dad.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Maybe I can wear a necklace he gave me.

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  • Michelle
    Super August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    My condolences to you and your family, Kelly. Take care.

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  • Michele
    Rockstar July 2023
    Michele ·
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    You're so very welcome. The necklace, his favorite dessert; really nice touch. Blessings, peace and comfort to you and your family. Thank you also.
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  • L
    Beginner November 2022
    Linsey ·
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    Memorial at Wedding 2
    I plan to do something like this. But taller real candles This was just a trial run.
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  • Kayla
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Kayla ·
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    So sorry to hear of your loss. Memorial at Wedding 3

    I’ve seen people recently putting a framed picture of their lost loved ones along with a personal item that that person loved alongside it on the table similar to this. My fiancé and I are planning on doing a wall and not a table but your ideas seem like a table is a great option for you!
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