Meeting The Future In-Laws: How Long Did You Date Before First Meeting Your Partner's Family?

View Quoted Comment Very cool that he gets along with your brother!

Haha like a month!
He lived in Portland, ME at the time and his parents live about 30 min south of there. I was in the process of having my tattoo sleeve worked on in Portland, which is about 2 hours away from where I (we) live now, so I went down around once a month. Anyway, the first or second time going down after meeting him, he texted me and said “want to go to my parents after?” (We already had plans to meet up.) I said like... to meet them...? Lol 🤣 I was so nervous and caught off guard. Over time I learned more about them, and we all get along great. I have similar interests with both of them and love them both for different reasons 🥰

View Quoted Comment I would totally be caught off guard in that scenario too, lol. Sounds like all went well though! Awesome that you all get along great!

I met my fiancé’s. Mother a few weeks in. He is a mommas boy all the way, his father past away and she is very aggressive. I just deal , I am totally on the polar side. I was not close with my mother and she is psychotic. I do not speak with her and don’t want anything to do with her. My fiancé calls his mom like 3 times a day and helps her all the time with her property: I deal with it I just don’t like clashing over everything.

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry to hear that his mom can be aggressive! I totally understand not wanting to rock the boat. Hopefully things improve over time!

FH and I planned a date with our sisters before we became exclusive. My middle sister loved him from the beginning and that was key for me because she doesn't like anyone lol. I met his mom a month or so after we became exclusive and then his dad soon after, on FH's birthday. Because of scheduling issues, FH didn't meet my parents until we'd been together exclusively for 3 months.

FH was keen to introduce me to his mom early on because they have an enmeshed relationship and it was an issue in FH's previous relationships. It's been shaky. She's not rude to my face or anything, it's that she's used to having full access to FH whenever she wants. She can be quite child-like (FH's words, not mine.) She's used to showing up at his place (she's friends with the landlady) whenever she wants and FH being available whenever she wants and I stopped that. FH has to work at setting tight boundaries and I have to work at telling FH what I need. After an incident last year I had us get into couples counseling before we moved forward on getting engaged.

FMIL knows she can't scare me off. I'm sticking around and we're still navigating our relationship. We're very different. Different cultures, socio-economic statuses, different first languages, different family dynamics, different personalities, and lifestyles etc. She's not happy about FH and I living with my parents after we get married.

I get along with FH's sister and father much better. FSIL goes through similar things in her relationship. Her partner and mother have a shaky relationship too.

I met his parents before we even started dating. We were just friends hanging out. But his mom didn’t like me once we started dating, but now that it’s been a couple of years we’re in a much better position!

View Quoted Comment So awesome that your sisters loved your fiance as soon as they met him! As for your FMIL, it sounds like it's more that she's not happy about your fiance having someone else be the main person in his life, and less about her disliking your personality. My fiance's brother is similar to your FMIL. After a few incidents, my fiance and I went to couples therapy to figure out how we could best move forward. We started setting boundaries, and it ended up being the absolute best thing. Good for you for not letting her get in the way of your relationship! Hopefully things will improve over time. Very cool that you get along with his sister and dad!

View Quoted Comment Good to hear that things got better with time!

View Quoted Comment It was more of the situation they didn’t like. They didn’t understand what was going on in my life and it was all really complicated. But now that they took the time to figure it out, we’re in much better terms!

I met his mom about 3 months in, his dad about 4 months in (they are divorced).

I'm not close to any of them but his dad likes me (and it's mutual) because he wanted from day 1 us to get to know each other better and sees me as his new daughter.

His mom, on the other hand... oh man!!She decided from day 1 she wouldn't like me. We got along 'OK' untill we made our guest list. My fiance decided not to invite some of her friends (those I've never met, even though he knows them very well) because having a guest list of 100+ and being the center of attention makes me nervous,so my fiance cut them to make me feel better and to accommodate me. Even though he told her 1000 times it was his decision so I wouldn't have to look at people I've never met, she still thinks it's a lie and that I am manipulating him. She even asked her daughter (fiance's sis), behind my back, whether or not her son would be allowed, after the wedding to visit them and spend certain holidays with her family without my permission.

I met his sister on our first date and he took me to his moms the next time we hung out which was like two days after. He also told me he loved me that day ❤️

View Quoted Comment It's kind of funny how things work out in the end! Time also helps for people to see the reality a little easier. Awesome that you're on better terms now, and that they're a little more understanding of what's going on in your life!

View Quoted Comment The guest list always seems to cause issues in relationships! I'm sorry to hear that she is blaming you because she didn't get to invite everyone that she wanted to. You and your fiance are the only ones who get to decide your guest list. Hopefully after the wedding, she'll be a little more understanding. Good to hear though that you are on good terms with his dad!

View Quoted Comment Aww, how sweet! Very cool that you got to meet his family so quickly!

We had been officially together about 2 months, but had been seeing each other for about 5. I met his first and he met mine about a week after. we are about an hour and a half-2 hours from both our families though so I dont feel incredibly close with them or anything.

View Quoted Comment Meeting the family around the 2 month mark seems pretty ideal!