Did your significant other introduce you to their family on date #1? Or did it take a few weeks? A few months? Or maybe you knew their family before you met your partner? When did you first meet your future in-laws? How does your relationship with them now compare to when you first met them?
I met them yearsssss ago like in 2010. My husband and I were bestfriends for 7 years before we even decided to start dating so we already knew a good amount of each others families (parents & siblings at least).
Me and his mom are closer, but me and his dad's relationship is nowhere near as close as it was. But only because we had to set boundaries when it came to our household and he didn't like it. But it doesn't bother me or my husband not one bit lol.
Well, technically the first time I met my FH's parents was at an after party where both of them were super drunk, but we don't count that LOL! about 2 months after we started dating we had dinner with them at their place. I was already friends with my Fh's brother and his now-wife, so the dinner was easy and fun. My relationship with both of my In-Laws is great. we see them nearly every weekend in the summer, and about every 3-4 weeks other seasons. We are all super close. The only strain has been during wedding planning between his mother and I. We have different ideas of what is important and isn't, and what traditions need followed or not, as well as the overall look/feel of the day. But we talked and figured it out so getting back on track now!
I met them about a month or so after we started seeing each other. Apparently they knew he was seeing someone when his mom saw a book in his room lol 🤣 (he was still living with them at the time). My relationship with them has gotten closer over the years, and I have a great relationship with all of his family. I text with his sister more than he does lol. I joke that I hit the in-law jackpot because they have really embraced me (and his sister's wife) as part of the family.
When I picked my FH up for our first date, he came out to the car and told me I had to come meet his mom, he neglected to tell me I would also be meeting his grandmother, two aunts and his great aunt.
Then the day before we actually started dating he invited me to his house cause they were having a party, so I met literally every member of his immediate family and extended family then.
I didn't want to go through introducing him to my family till I knew there was something to introduce them to, so about a month after we started dating he met my parents, and then about 3 months after that, he met my extended family.
My relationship with my FFIL is definitely better, I was really quiet and shy for a WHILE probably about 3 years before I got really comfortable, now that I'm comfortable he doesn't find me weird and we get along really well lol.
FMIL will always have an issue with me, she didn't like me when I was shy and quiet cause she found that rude, and she doesn't like me now because I speak to her like an adult when everyone else treats her like she's four and she finds that rude. So I'll never win there.
The rest of his extended family loves me, his cousin and FSIL are bridesmaids in our wedding. His brothers and I get a long super well as well as me and his SIL. His grandmother calls me for anything and everything she needs and I speak with his aunts often!
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That's really cool that you already knew each others families before you started dating! And I totally understand having to set boundaries. Good to hear that it doesn't bother you or your husband! My fiance and I had to set some boundaries with both his mom and my mom, but I think it's gotten better over time once everyone adjusted.
No I did not meet his family on the first date. It took a while to meet the in laws. I met his children first. I would say it was a few months- we were also living almost 2 hours apart from one another. I met my FMIL first and went to my stepsons soccer tournament together. It was a while after before I met his father- who is also no longer living.
We actually live together with my FMIL. Our relationship has grown over the years, but living together also causes tensions at times. It is not easy but I love that our children can grow up having her in the home especially being a widow
That said, I met them a LOT faster than we intended, because I ended up having to meet DH at his place one day (he still lived with them, he grew up in NYC), before we went out. It was a SUPER HOT summer day, and I was ... dressed for a date on a hot day. So, that was fun. (Oof.)
So... it was a few weeks in?
MIL and I hit it off and got close rather quickly, it took FIL years to warm up to me. MIL had to call him out for it, too. (He wouldn't talk to me, then decided that meant I wouldn't talk to him - no, I'm just old enough and been through enough with other people that I didn't care if he didn't talk to me.) FIL and I are much closer, now. That said, MIL and I are two peas in a pod, which I find hilarious. (...my dad visited a few weeks ago, and I straight watched him do the same things DH does, so... yeah, you do marry your parent.)
When I met FH he had recently moved back in with his dad while waiting to build a house. I met his parents before we officially started dating, maybe a week or so after going out? What I didn't know was that I'd also be meeting his sister, BIL and their 2 month old baby at the same time. I met his grandma, aunt and uncle the day we officially started dating.
I have always gotten along really well with everyone in his family except his mom. A few months before he moved back to his dad's house, his parents got together again and his mom moved back in. FH lived with his dad during his childhood, so his mom figured him moving back home for a year or so was the perfect time to make up for lost time in his childhood... and then we started dating. She was straight up mean to me in the beginning and constantly complained to FH that I was taking up all of the time she was supposed to have with him, and then I moved in with him as soon as the house was built so his mom's dreams of "taking care of him" were further crushed because he didn't need that. She finally lightened up about 3.5 years into our relationship, but honestly she forever scarred it in my opinion so we will never be close. I can be cordial, but I keep my distance for my own sake.
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Awesome that you have such a great relationship with them! Wedding planning does have a way of putting stress on some relationships, but sounds like you've got everything figured out!
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😂 that is a unique way for his parents to find out that he was dating someone, lol! A month seems like a good amount of time to build your relationship before meeting family. Very cool that you have such a great relationship with them all!