Maybe I'm being gauche, but...

I agree with all of the above mentioned reasons as to why to send them...but on top of all that I spent a boatload of money on an engagement shoot and my guests were going to get one of those damn pictures!

Most of our guests were out of town and I just called them to tell them the date. But if it's in your budget...go for it!

Everything 2d bride said, as usual. People have been getting married without them (and favors, programs, etc.....) for hundreds of years.

I think they are more a product of excitement than necessity.

Man, I really didn't mean for this to turn into a debate. I was just talking with FH about stationary for the wedding and he got really confused about save the dates, so I wanted to ask. I didn't mean for this to be a "weird" post.

If you're doing them, awesome! If not, awesome!

I was originally not planning to send any save-the-dates... UNTIL last spring when I received a Save the Date for my cousin's baby shower. I put her shower on my calendar, and then a few weeks later I was invited to my ex-husband's niece's baby shower on the same day. I hadn't received the invitation to my cousin's shower yet, so without the save-the-date I would not have known it was coming up on the same date, I would have rsvp'd yes to my ex's niece's shower, and then I would have had to miss my cousin's shower. There was no way to go to both as they were in two different states. That was when I decided that a save-the-date is just a good heads-up. So when VistaPrint had a big sale and I was able to get them for under $20, I went ahead and ordered some and sent them to family and close friends, our VIPs.

As someone who lives across the country from where I grew up and went to college, I appreciate save the dates SO MUCH for the sake of scheduling/budgeting money and time off for weddings. If you give me less than 6 weeks notice, I'm not going to be able to make it. Also, I just learned through save the dates that we have THREE weddings on the same day. Add this to the other weddings within a month of two of those, and we have to make decisions on which weddings make the most sense to attend since it's impossible to do all of them.

I originally wasn't going to send them but FH and I decided to bump up the wedding by a year, so we figured sending STDs would be a good way to let people know. Also, we made the decision with about 6 months to go so we wanted to give a heads up.

8 weeks is enough to get a trip together? Do you not have a demanding job with limited time off? Do you not have a home? Children? Pets? Land? Financial issues? Schedule commitments of any kind?

Enjoy your care-free life, bejeezus.

Basically what m said. I wasn't about to call 150 people ahead of time to let them know we were getting married when someone invented these handy things called save the dates. They definitely aren't mandatory, but when all of your guests are OOT I would say they make life easier.

As with others, 90% of my guest list was from out of state. I wanted ample time for them to plan for travel.

I've been planning time for my sisters wedding for months now, and still am only getting 4 days off. I only got 4 days off for MY OWN wedding.

So let's not act like if someone can't drop everything to plan a big trip they don't care.

My FI and I debated it, but when it was pointed out that most of our family is spread out and our date falls along some Christmas breaks and about the time people are planning Christmas trips and such, we decided to at least look into it with the intent to most likely send them out. Though only to family and VIPs, people we know will be on the guest list regardless of anything.

I personally don't feel it makes people bad friends/family to need reminders, my Mom for instance is a very forgetful person but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to be invited places or doesn't care. Sometimes we forget that other people have a vast array of stressor in their lives, and some we may not even be aware of. My Mom has been left out of invites to many important occasions by family because she is seen as incapable of handling things and forgetful and like she doesn't care, but what they don't realize is the immense strain - both emotionally and financially - to be the care-taker of a loved one with dementia and Alzheimer's. I'm not saying everyone has these exact same secret stressors, but that we have no idea what's truly going on in someone else's life. I don't mind footing a little extra for my family, and neither does my FI.

I didn't know Vistaprint did this kinda stuff though! Very glad to have stumbled upon those deals!

I made my own, I think its for out of town guest more than anything. I live in Toronto but have family flying in from as close as Montreal to as far as Singapore and HK. They need more than 2 months notice.

I hate that save the dates are abbreviated to STD's, LOL. The only time I see them as necessary is for a destination wedding.

If your entire guest list lives in the city the wedding is located, your wedding is on a Saturday, there is nothing major that would cause people to plan something else that same Saturday (spring break, vacation, major sporting event, graduation party, birthday celebration, holiday, etc) then you really don't need STDs. It's a given when there is oot guest they need to prepare for travel (car, flight, hotel, etc), save money, and they may need to take off work. As far as local invitees: My FH is self employed and makes 90 percent of his annual income on Saturdays during college football season (Sept-Dec). So if he pays $500-$1000 (usually months in advance) to set up at a game (for all day) and your wedding is Sept-Dec. and he is working, he won't be attending, bc he can't get that money back and he needs to make a living. At my old job I didn't have Saturdays off at all. We got 105 STDs with gold envelopes from WPD for under $120. Add postage and we spend about $170 to give notice to our guest.

I find myself completely agreeing with @m once again.

@2d Bride you're fortunate enough to have a job where 8 weeks is ample time for time off/trip-planning. Most people aren't so fortunate. They appreciate the notice. Speaking as a guest, I love STDs because I know months ahead of time and can either make the arrangements or realize that it won't work and I decline the invite when I get it without taking forever and a day to RSVP. Also, the guest list argument doesn't fly with me. My guest list hasn't changed since August because I'm inviting ONLY those who are a meaningful part of my life and that isn't going to change. I didn't send STDs to my mailman's second cousin twice removed. I'm only sending them to people I know will be on my guest list no matter when I get married. Really, if you have a set venue and a set budget, there's no reason for your guest list to change in 6-7 months time.

No one in this thread said that STDs were a necessity. Not sure why that argument keeps coming up.

About a third of our guest list will be from out of town. So we wanted to send them so that they had time to book travel and get their finances in order. Especially because there are three family weddings this summer, all in a different state.

Plus I think they are cute and wanted to show off our engagement pics! I am not really worried about being 'locked' into a guest list this early because we are only inviting family and our close close friends.