Maybe I'm being gauche, but...

I think it really depends on the wedding - for holiday weekends or destination weddings, I think it makes a ton of sense so people can plan accordingly. For other weddings, I don't know if it really adds a ton of value. We told the date to everyone who we really wanted there as soon as we knew when the big day would be, and opted not to do save the dates.

We are skipping STD too. For us they weren't necessary and I'd rather use that money for something else!

@elizabeth k hey whatever works for you! In my opinion definitely a waste though

We took them off the table then put them back on when my family kept asking when the wedding was, even though I told them 16 times. I figured it would prevent anyone from complaining I didn't give them enough time to plan to be there.

Exactly @Kimi. Most of the stuff people do for weddings is unnecessary. Who really needs to rehearse walking down the aisle? LOL. Flower wall? Unnecessary. Bridal party? Unnecessary. Those silly bridesmaids robes for the all-important "getting ready" pictures? Unnecessary. Bouquets and bouquet toss? Unnecessary. Menus and programs? Unnecessary. Different things matter to different people. To each their own.

FH and I were looking to book our honeymoon in June because we're going after I'm done with school, and we received the STD for a friend's wedding in June. So we planned the honeymoon around that because we really want to attend her wedding. Getting locked into your guest list 8 months in advance is not a bad thing if you're only inviting the people who mean the most to you. We haven't had a single change in our guest list since the Save the Dates. And this isn't about "reminding" your guests that it's your wedding, it's to notify them. I didn't personally call every person to tell them when the wedding was, then sent STD's. I just sent STD's.... If they're in your budget, I think they are helpful. They are as unnecessary as most wedding details. And like every unnecessary wedding detail, you have to assess the cost and stress level it will bring, then decide if it's worth it.

ETA grammar

Well.....you know how I feel about rehearsals, flower walls, bridal parties, robes, menus and programs......though I do love a good bouquet....

This is a really weird post. You really couldn't figure out the purpose of Save The Dates?

And MrsCoakley, it wasn't your opinion that they are a waste that came off strange.

It was your opinion that if they can't remember your wedding, they shouldn't be invited. I personally think that's a stupid mentality. Believe it or not, everyone else's lives don't revolve around our weddings.

I think most people will agree that Save The Dates aren't necessary but as Kimi pointed out, nothing about your wedding is necessary except an officiant.

A save the date doesn't really have much to do with people remembering the date persay. It's to let them know in general. I know that personally if I got a wedding invite 6-8 weeks out and that's the first I knew about it, there's a good chance I already had plans, and I also would like to know sooner so I can save, plan travel and accommodations, etc.

Because people need warning to save their vacation days, not plan travel or other events that weekend, save up for shower and wedding gifts, etc. It's the thoughtful thing to do. And for total flakes, a physical reminder on their fridge ensures they actually remember it and don't waste your money no-showing.

We gave them to our out of town friends who are unfamiliar with the area (and will be travelling 7+ hours to get there) it had a list of all the hotels and campgrounds in the area on the back so they could plan their stay.

We did them mostly because our families are very spread out geographically, and we wanted to give those who would have to book plane tickets and hotels enough advance warning. But, that said, we didn't send them to everyone--only to the people we absolutely knew would be on the final guest list. They weren't a huge expense (maybe $50), and I think our guests appreciated the advance notice, but they're absolutely not mandatory, and I'm definitely of the belief that only VIPs should receive them.

I am strongly opposed to them. The idea seems to be that people will save up to attend your wedding, and/or move vacations around. However, there are very few people--mostly immediate family--who will actually do this, and those people undoubtedly already know when your date is. Even for a DW, 8 weeks (the normal period when an invitation is sent) is enough for them to get the best airfares and hotel rates.

What an STD does is to lock you into a guest list way too early. You may find out later that you don't want to invite them, for reasons ranging from deciding you want a smaller and less expensive wedding to leaving your job and no longer wanting to invite former coworkers to finding out that someone you thought you wanted to invite tried to seduce your FI. But once you've sent an STD, you need to send an invitation.

The majority of our guest list will be OOT, many of whom will need to travel across the country. We want to give them plenty of time to make the necessary arrangements if they wish to go, so we are planning to use them.

Why not do online save the dates, or include it in your wedding website. Easy and save money

@jersey Jen I have a small guest list so everyone already knows about my wedding and will remember the day... Hence the no need for a std! I understand that everyone has different situations, amount of guests and OOT guests though.

We sent them because we have a lot of people who will have to book international travel and wanted to give them the extra heads up for travel purposes.

I got a good deal from shutterfly, otherwise we wouldn't have bothered. Most of our guests are local to where our wedding is, but we do have several out of state that may or may not have to make summer travel decisions before invitations go out. i actually had most of them handed out to family at Christmas, so we saved on postage.

Honestly I wish we'd skipped them and just contacted our VIPs and out of town guests.

Lots of out of town guests for us so we want to spread the info. Not necessary but I'm happy we are doing it. For a couple hundred bucks it's worth piece of mind.