Mastectomy or wedding

Get married. Waiting a year for these surgeries is acceptable if you don't have cancer yet. Just be sure to get frequent screenings at women's health clinics, health fairs, Planned Parenthood, whatever your area offers. Also, I would get a second opinion. Recommending a woman for both a mastectomy and a hysterectomy based on a disease she doesn't even have seems very aggressive to me.

Also I know people probaly think just get married and have surgery later but please note that I have to walk around everyday knowing my DNA is made up of TWO genes that can kill me at any moment. I also have to look at my girls and know they will too have to go through this. When my mom and grandma died of cancer you think they had an active cancer cell but once you know it's your DNA and your grandma is the carrier it makes you feel like cancer isn't what kills my BLOOD IS. With that said that's the reason I want the surgeries on my 25th birthday but I want to get married I'm really hurt and confused.

@Ryan, that's what I was thinking. @Denise, Those are both major, major surgeries. If you haven't been diagnosed, just go about things as you planned. But definitely go to another doctor, or even a specialist.

You're in my prayers. I hope everything works out!

I agree with Ryan. Live a healthy lifestyle, get screened frequently, and get a second opinion. I think its a little crazy for a doctor to suggest for you to get a mastectomy and hysterectomy when you are 24. Get married and enjoy it.

I'm confused. Why did you seek out genetic testing? I think your Dr is being quite alarmist myself. I too have a genetic mismatch that pre-disposes me to certain types of cancer (above 80%) I would never do it based on "fear" or numbers. I would get married. Stay on top of regular screenings, prevention is key. Good luck whatever you decide.

I would have the surgery.

I know which gene you are talking about, the testing is very accurate and has saved lives.

It's the cancer that kills, not your blood. You are just predisposed.

PS- Maybe it's because I"m a nurse and I tend to be an alarmist myself. Def get a second opinion then go from there. But there are fact and research to back up this alarm.

Also realize that the doc need to cover his/her ass. If he/she tells you not to have the surgery then you get cancer he/she can be liable.

This is very tough, good luck with whatever you decide.

Ive been to two doctors and the thing is with the gene it allows me to know I have such a high risk, and theres breast cancer then theres aggressive breast cancer if I wait till I actually have it the chances of me dying is way greater my mother found out in stage two and still died my grandma stage 1. So a mastectomy isnt an aggressive treatment its a way to prevent it. Thanks for your advice.

A second opinion is warranted BUT please realize that the surgeries could save your life.

A mastectomy and hysterectomy is not the end of your life. Go get your second opinion , if the results are the same I would have the surgery.

That's a lot of information to process, are you okay? I would absolutely get a second and maybe a third opinion. I'm sorry you're going through that.

I had "minor" pelvic surgery 6 weeks before my wedding which was unavoidable and could not have been put off. This meant I was a zombie at my bridal shower and bachelorette party b/c I was taking pain meds, and it added a lot of stress to our planning those last few months. I would not recommend going under the knife before the wedding unless you really need to.

If (god forbid) things change and these surgeries become necessary, I would postpone the wedding until you've made a full recovery. In that case, I can't imagine anyone not being 100% understanding and supportive.

I'm sorry to hear of your mother and grandmother. Good luck whichever you decide to do. I don't envy your position

Ive been to two doctors and the thing is the gene let's me know my risk nd theres breast cancer and aggressive breast cancer, If I wait till I actually have cancer the chances of me dying is really high. So the doctors would rather cut off my breast then to wait and screen till the cancer comes, because once I have it chances of living are very slim. My mom found her's in stage 2 and still died and grandma stage 1 and still died. So my best chances are to stop it before I have it. Thanks for the advice.

Denise, I think you just answered your own question.

Good luck to you.

Yes..........in that case I would have the mastectomy and postpone the wedding until you're fully recovered and feeling better.

Or - organize a very small, quick wedding now, and have a big reception later. I think everyone in your life would understand. I can't imagine anyone NOT understanding whatever you decide in this instance.

I've lost 2 very beloved women in my life to cancer. I would much rather hear they eloped and have them around. Take care of yourself first.

Second opinion. I would schedule your surgeries after your wedding.

Also you can have a skin sparing mastectomy and have them insert the tissue expander during the initial surgery. This means less surgery for reconstruction.

I would also call your insurance company and ask again about the cutoff and age limit. I have never heard that one before.

I am high risk but do not have the gene - just the family history - 20% chance of breast cancer - as a result, I get a mammogram each June and then an MRI each Dec. So I am seen by my doctors every six months. (MRI is supposedly better than ultrasound). I would suggest you ask about this option as well.

Best of luck to you.

Yea, I agree with Kris S. There's nothing wrong with a small wedding. If you have family that can cook, I'm sure they can help whip up a nice reception. You could have a huge vow renewal later on, after you beat cancer :-) Best of luck Denise!

Since the insurance won't cover it until you are 25, you're rather stuck waiting until March. Those procedures are not cheap, sometimes if you harass your insurance enough you can get a waiver to have the procedure earlier.

I'd say shrink the wedding down a lot and move it up, you could even have something just at someone's house with an officiant and 10-15 people. You need the support of your loved ones, and you would like to look and feel pretty for your wedding day. So I'd go ahead and scrap all the current plans, shrink and do something small and intimate this fall. But have the wedding, even take a short honeymoon (just get away for a few days, it doesn't have to cost a lot or even be more than a couple hours drive away). Then you are married, settled and can face the surgeries with your family and you aren't stressing about two events at once.

It sounds like you have already made up your mind on how you are going to handle this. I am sorry you have to go through it. As a cancer survivor you never really get over the chance that it can come back or in your case that you could get one or both of the diseases. Only you can make these choices and know what is best. I agree with the pp that you could have an accident and die. None of us knows our future but it seems that you are taking the right steps to head yours in the best direction. Good luck.

Denise, as a cancer survivor, I have to say that you're processing this very well. I was told that I should have a complete hysterectomy at age 19! Thankfully, I got a second and third opinion and was told by both doctors that a hysterectomy was the most drastic and often the most unnecessary option.

I can only speak from my experience, but please..PLEASE get more than one opinion! Too many times doctors will cut you open and call it "preventative medicine" when you have other options available. I fought for my ovaries and won because I still have them AND I'm cancer free (10 years as of Feb).

A lot of these people saying that you need a second opinion, doctor is being alarmist, etc. do not understand what a BRCA1 or BRCA2 (which I assume you have) genetic mutation means. This genetic mutation runs in my family- my grandma and aunt both died of ovarian cancer, my mom has the mutation and had a mastectomy and hysterectomy, I thank goodness do not have the mutation but if I found out otherwise I would have had both surgeries as well. With BRCA mutations it's not so much a matter of if you get cancer but when and you are absolutely correct that once you have either ovarian or breast cancer it will likely be a more aggressive form than normal. People advising that you could get hit by a car tomorrow don't grasp the severity of this mutation- yes you can get hit by a car tomorrow but you wouldn't want to increase your odds by playing in traffic. Please be strong, make sure you have both a good oncologist and a good genetics counselor (not just a regular doctor), seek out BRCA pos

Itive support groups online, and make an informed decision with the help of your doctors, fiance and family, not strangers on the internet. Even with all this said I think waiting until after the wedding is perfectly fine as long as you get frequent checks which insurance covers after your genetic testing comes back positive.