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Nicole
Just Said Yes September 2022

Maid of Honor but no Best Man?

Nicole, on January 19, 2022 at 8:41 PM Posted in Planning 0 8
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I’m sure I’m over thinking this but just wanted some opinions on this topic! My fiancé is having 9 groomsmen and I’m having 5 bridesmaids, which is totally fine with me. He has a group of friends that he would like to be involved and not pick and choose from which is why there’s so many. Ideally we would both love to have a maid of honor and best man, but he doesn’t feel that he can choose one of the 9 to elevate to that status. 2 are brother-in-laws, but he doesn’t want to choose between them or have 2 best men. So his current decision is to have no best man. I had picked a friend to ask to be matron of honor (since she’s married) but I’m going back and forth on whether it would be weird to have a matron of honor while he doesn’t have a best man? He said it’s totally fine with him, but then does it seem weird that I could choose someone but he didn’t? Or should we both just axe the titles completely? I know I could ask my friend to give a speech, stand next to me still all without the title, I guess I was just leaning towards wanting her to have the title because it’d be nice to see her reaction when I ask/would make it special. This is also my fiancés second marriage so he’s had a best man/been through the whole wedding before and doesn’t want to choose one now just to have one. So I’m still debating whether I should do the same or just still have one?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on January 23, 2022 at 12:22 AM
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    Personally I don't see there being any issue having a maid of honour but no best man. The bridal parties aren't even anyway so I don't know why you're worried about this.

    If you want someone as your MOH by all means have them in that role, don't let the lack of a best man stop you Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this. Your guests won’t care either way.
    • Reply
  • Holly
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Holly ·
    • Flag
    Hi Nicole! I honestly think that whatever naturally feels good to you both and makes you happy you should do. So, if that means you have a different number of groomsmen vs. bridesmaids, so be it! And if you have a maid of honor but he doesn’t have a best man, so what! The rules are for you two to make :-) do it your way because it’s your day. Congrats!
    • Reply
  • H
    Devoted May 2023
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I don't think this is something guests would notice at all, especially since you're already going to have uneven sides.
    • Reply
  • JA
    Expert March 2022
    JA Online ·
    • Flag

    No one will notice or care. My FH has a best man and I dont have a MOH. The only time it matters is when it comes to planning the bachelor party or doing a toast/speech, which can be delegated to a groomsman without having the title of Best man

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  • Katherine
    Savvy June 2023
    Katherine ·
    • Flag

    My FH has a best man but I am not choosing a MOH. I personally don't think it matters. I know who I would pick as my maid of honor, but didn't really want to rank my close friends!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I doubt that anyone would even notice. Go ahead and have your side any way you like!

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Nicole ·
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    Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it!
    • Reply

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