Maid of honor & bridesmaids won't come to my wedding if it's a destination wedding

I think you have already answered your own question.

Sometimes, friends disappoint or not as giving or loyal as we like to think.

Sorry. I hope you have a beautiful wedding nonetheless.

That's weird that your friends would say that to you.

On the other hand, having it out of state, you should not expect a huge turnout from people living out of state or even 2-3 hours or more away....

I actually had one of my sisters complain that it was hard for her and her family to travel 2 hours. Oh well, I'm not sure I would have cared that much since many friends came and did not complain since they recognized that I was only getting married once in my life.

True, you are absolutely right. but I was really surprised, they even voted on it. Only one of them agreed and supported me, all the rest of them are truly against it. I think that as friends, they should support me and what i want. I'm really dissapointed.

Where did u get married and where were they coming from?

It's good to find out who you can depend on now, before you're in the midst of planning and on the day of. Sometimes, it's not necessarily who you have known the longest, but the character of the person as they are today, not in the past. People change over time and their viewpoints change too due to life circumstances, stress, and other influences in their lives.

I would think BMs would be the most supportive also, but that is truly not that case often.

I married in my FH hometown-a smaller city. I live in a big city in on the West Coast and it was way too expensive. My family did incur a lot of cost to travel and some stayed a night or two in a hotel, but I found the cheapest deals as possible and we had a nice reception. They drove two hours one way to make it to the wedding, as did almost 200 ppl. It was the only way we could have a huge wedding with lots of great food and alcohol for everyone and still invite everyone the parents wanted...We were very appreciative of everyone who came and gave out nice favors and I sent photos and nice thank you cards also.

UGH! I'm glad I know now...maybe they'll come around later when they see that I am not changing the location.

It's unfortunate that ur BM and MOH are acting like that. I personally don't think it's a big deal to spend some money to attend your friends wedding. I have two friends that had a destination wedding and from the minute they told me where they were getting married I knew i had to be there. As long as your guests have at least a year notice which they they do I find no reason for them to say they're not attending.

Wow, that is so selfish and self-serving. My wedding will be 3 hours from where we live, in my mom's hometown. Everybody BUT my mom, stepdad, and grandparents will travel AT LEAST 6-8 hours. One of my BM's is traveling from Cali! My MOH is in upperstate NY. Never once have anyone of them pulled this type of crap.

As my MOH told me "You don't tell a bride NO. If you really have a problem with something she's doing/does - offer other solutions - but at the end of the day it's HER wedding. Everyone else has to SUCK IT UP"

Its awful that they are behaving this way. It is your wedding and they should travel if they are that close a friend. My MOH travelled from Aus my family came from Aus and the middle east and his family came from 3 different states. Have the wedding you and your FH want

Mrs Joseph u said it. They need to suck it UP...I feel much better ladies, me and my FH discussed it and he was pretty upset about the way my MOH and BM are acting. it's kind of childish in a way. It's my wedding, i should have it where I want to...I guess they won't be attending. Really dissapointing!!!

I will have my dream wedding:-)

If they can't make it because of financial reasons and if they mean thatmuch to you, consider helping with their travel cost. If it is just them being divas, just have the 1 that supported you in your bridal party.

They are being divas...it has nothing to do with finances.

I can't believe that they are opposing....that is very insensitive. It is YOUR day, and these are people who you are most likely very close to and should be there for you no matter what. If you want the wedding in Phoenix, they should be for it. It's not like you are not giving them enough notice to save for air/hotel, etc.

If I was chosen as someone's MOH or bridesmaid that I was very close to, I would go whereever they wanted me to, but that's just me.

I know how you feel though...a friend of my recently told me that because I'm having an outdoor engagement party, she may not come if it's cold. That's just crazy to me. You can't bring a sweater? Time to reconsider these so called relationships.

You can give them the option. Say I sorry you can't attend don't worry about being in the wedding party. I will replace you with another person who is willing to come to my wedding.

I am sorry this is a bunch of crap. They are suppose to be your closest friends and willing to do anything for you. Plus if this is about the place your getting married what will they do about the dresses you pick for them to wear.

The most astonishing part is that the voted on it. Do they think this is a majority rule type thing? I think you should sit them down and tell them from the heart that you are having it in Phoenix because it is your dream and your FHs to have it there (and list all your other reasons as well). Tell them "as my friend, I truly hope that you can understand the importance of having our wedding day the way we'd like it to be. I always value and appreciate your opinion, but we've decided that we are definitely having it in Phoenix and I hope that from this point on you will support me like I would support you." Then be quiet and see what they say. Talking to them one-on-one instead of a you-against-them type setting might also help...sounds like they tried to get strength in numbers with the voting thing. Do they really think their opinions as bridesmaids are as important as your opinion for your own wedding? Good luck and please let us know what happens.

I'm so sorry to hear you are dealing with that...I've gone though something very similar (although we are having our wedding where we live neither of our families live here). FI's family has been amazing, but my family has been TERRIBLE! It has been really stressful, but we are sticking to our guns becuase it's really important to us to be married at our church in our city because the wedding is suppose to be about us starting our family (although my mother will happily explain to you that it isn't about us at all it's about my parents and what a great job they did raising me...mind you i'm almost 30!)

We chose to stand our ground...and our other friends and family have been amazing (my best friend keeps saying those that really love us will come no matter what we chose for our wedding becuase they love us and want to be there to support us starting our family...I keep reminding myself of that!)

I don't even think of this as a "destination wedding"--I realize it's pretty far, but those are also cities with major airports, so planning far in advance they ought to be able to get some pretty cheap flights. Like everyone else, I'm amazed they think this is a democracy.

I think you have to see it from their perpective. They probably realized that standing up in a wedding costs money and addind travel and lodging expenses to that is just too much for them.

This is why we decided against a destination wedding. I would rather incur the cost ourselves rather than pass it off to others through travel expenses. However, if having all my friends and family there wasn't important to me, I would have gone with a destination wedding and had it just been my family and a few friends.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with all the other brides on this one. our friends really need a reality check. My bridal and the majority of my guests are traveling here for my wedding. The one time someone ATTEMPTED to complain, I told them they could drop out and save me money on bridesmaids gifts! lol. I come off as being cold BUT ppl have to understand MY wedding is definitely not something they have a vote in. It would be a diff story if fh wanted something else BUT he doesn't :-P ppl really need to get a grip and stop being so frickin selfish! Just keep an open mind and hope for the best. In the end, all that matters is those who want to be there with you will and you will be married even if it's just the 2 of you.