Long Engagements....?

I just got engaged November 21st of 2019, and we wanted to have the wedding by September 4th of 2020. It's been SO hard to find venues already. We've talked about pushing it to November 2020 and having a true fall wedding (which doesn't bother me, it's my favorite season. Just have to make sure it's early November because of the potential of snow). Everyone is telling me to go get marriage at a courthouse now and have the "wedding" later, save money, and have the day you want. But I just feel like it's not special. That's just mine and my FH's opinions though. I'd say if it's a $ issue, hold off. You don't want to look back seeing areas that you compromised for the sake of finances just because you were in a rush. You want to have photos that you look back on, and you love every bit of them. That's the main reason why we are changing our date. $$$$$.. it's all so expensive, even when you are savvy, DIY, and have help from family. Without a caterer or alcohol we are at 9k. And that's for a fairly cheap venue. Do what's best for YOU!

Most would definitely consider three years a long engagement, and will likely have comments - but luckily for you and them, they're not the one's you and FH are marrying lol.

My husband and I had an 18 month engagement starting fall 2017 and wedding spring 2019 and the most common comments were along the lines ranged from the "means well" annoying of "oh plenty of time to change your mind" to the more outright "why drag your feet" etc etc. which could get under my skin until I remembered: we have FOREVER together, so it doesn't matter if more of that is as fiancé and fiancée than other people.

I would start looking for major vendors (think venue, photographer and dress) at around 1.5 years out - looking now for overall feel can give you good ideas of what you two are looking for out of your wedding day and until that point focus on the budget (do you plan to save up? set a realistic monthly goal or amount you want to set aside). Soak it all in, and make sure to call him your fiancé as much as possible because in three short years it will be husband forever!

By the time we get married next year it’ll be a 4 year engagement so do whatever is best for both of you.

3 years would be considered a long engagement but there is nothing wrong with that. It would be good to choose your venue and photographer about 1.5 years out. You can lock in the previous year's rates as well so that's beneficial. Good luck!

We have about a year engagement. However with out desired October wedding dates many places were booking up fast for that. We were planning a Saturday wedding but ours only had a Sunday that worked (and that wasn't Halloween lol) so we took it.

I called a few cake places since my planned bakery does not deliver outside the area and some places told me to call back in a few months since it was really early.

In my opinion its never to early to look at details and start gathering ideas. I'm so eager to start playing with center pieces and bouquets (we are using Sola Wood Flowers so I cant start now) but holidays and life is taking my attention now.

Congrats on getting engaged! Our engagement will be 2 years and 7 months by the time we get married. It works out really well for us both in money and life planning; we got engaged during my senior year of college so the longer engagement let us get our first apartment and live together for a bit before getting married. We are really happy with the timing we picked! However, we actually booked a venue for June 2021 in February 2019 (three months after our engagement) because it was a very popular venue. Also booked the DJ and photographer by the end of April, all of whom were already booking for 2021 and said if we waited too much longer we'd lose our date. Might not be as much of an issue for you since November isn't in prime wedding season, but if you're dead set on a certain vendor or venue, it can't hurt to book early. Especially because they may keep their current prices for you, excluding you from any annual price increases (happened for our venue, photog, and DJ). Good luck planning!

We are getting married May, 16 2020 and he proposed 12/17/17. It was nice to be engaged for a like a year and than start planning for a year or so. Don't have to stress out to try and plan in like 6 months or whatever. Plus the further out you plan the better options for things you want to book especially venues and photographer/videographers sometimes even make-up artists.

It is a long engagement but if that is what you guys want thats awesome! it give you plenty of time to square everything away and enjoy the planning process!!

personally i don't think it is ever too early to start planning!!! only thing is some vendors probably don't book that far in advance. but that doesn't mean you can't shop around and look still. Take your time and make it perfect! happy planning!

Hi! Congrats!

We are also engaged 3 years, and yes, it is long, but you need to feel comfortable with what you're doing. If you are comfortable with it and you love your FH, then do it.

In regard to booking venues, book ASAP! The reason is you'll get 2019/2020 pricing and they may give you the option to pay monthly; this way you can budget better and work little by little to pay for it. Start looking at venues you like, get pricing lists, and then book them as soon as you're ready. Also, book your photographer, videographer if you want one and DJ earlier than the other vendors. They book up quickly and again, it'll give you their prices for the years prior to your wedding.

Congratulations

No it is not too long.

I was engaged since 2017 my wedding will be 2021. So we will be engaged for 4 years! and I'm super happy with it. Life gets in the way and affects my savings account. So it takes time to save money lol. Hope this helps!

We're doing a two year engagement, because it just didn't work to try and plan a fall wedding in a year's notice... (He proposed end of September 2019). Low and behold, it worked out perfectly, and we're getting married on our 5 year anniversary date in 2021.

With that being said, I started planning about two weeks into being engaged...BECAUSE with the holiday season coming up, I wanted to jump ahead of all the other proposals that would be happening during the holidays, and get the vendors that I wanted. I only got turned away from one REALLY good videographer that was already booked... for TWO FALLS OUT.

So I don't think there's any "perfect time" to do anything. But get your MAIN vendors booked. We knew what church we'd have our ceremony at, so we scheduled a meeting with our priest and locked that in. Then we did the reception. Then videographer (I found one of these within our price range way faster than a photographer). Then a photographer, and a DJ. Now we're going to chill through the holidays!

With all the time you have, you can do so much research ahead of time, and not worry about paying anything yet. Photography was a big thing for me, so that took me a while to choose.

Best of luck!!!

Yes it is a long engagement but we did one as well and I don't regret it at all. Be prepared people will have comment and opinions on it, but stick your ground. This is your wedding and you have to be the one to plan it, not them! To be honest the first year we were engaged FLEW, we both just started new careers, moved in together, etc. so we really didn't do much planning, just light searching. This year is when we booked a wedding venue (we are getting married 2021) which again people voiced opinion about booking "too early" but why wait if you've found a place you love? We are doing a destination wedding so we also partially wanted to give family enough time to plan ahead and save. We will be sending out save the dates at the beginning of next year and will start discussing the details with our wedding planner then too. Don't let anyone tell you how to plan YOUR wedding! Good luck!