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Just Said Yes December 2018

Living together before wedding

Daniel & Brionna, on January 16, 2017 at 9:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 67

My FH and I are considering moving in together prior to our wedding. I am slightly skeptical because I don't want to spoil the excitement of living together after we become married. Is there anyone that can render advice on how to avoid this skepticism I have but still move in together? Just a tiny FYI we live in different states and want to plan our special day closer to one another.

67 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on January 18, 2017 at 11:52 AM
  • Kathleen
    VIP September 2017
    Kathleen ·
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    My FH and I have lived together for 2+ years now with no issues. I personally feel like you see a whole other side of a person when you live with them day in and day out and that's something I'm glad I experienced before we decided to get married....but to each their own.

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  • JRae
    Expert September 2017
    JRae ·
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    Umm highly recommend it. You learn so much about someone when u live with them. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I was living with them first.

    ETA: Spelling

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  • Lauryn
    Super October 2017
    Lauryn ·
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    I personally don't think it spoils it. FH and I didn't live together until about 2 years ago, we've been dating for 6 years, and we only moved in together because I moved out of state for law school and he came with me. Financially it made sense. I was worried as well, but I'm so glad we did for a number of reasons. Smiley smile planning a wedding has only made it even more exciting!

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  • Amanda
    VIP May 2017
    Amanda ·
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    I think its important to live together first, me and FH have lived togther for 5 years you learn so much about a person living with them !

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  • Melissa
    Master March 2018
    Melissa ·
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    Lol trust me, there's no excitement to spoil. Don't get me wrong, living together is amazing. I've been living with fh for 4 years now. And let me tell you, it is work! Hard work. I highly recommend living together before. I get a lot of people have personal beliefs that people should live together as a married couple, but I don't recommend starting your marriage in a new living situation, especially if you live in separate states! It takes so much work to cohabitate. I can't stress it enough.

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  • Amber
    Beginner November 2017
    Amber ·
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    My FH and I moved in together about 3 months ago and I'm so glad we did...it calms the nerves and you can learn each other better before the big day. You don't really know someone until you live with them!!!! Trust you will be glad you did it

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    I'm definitely in the minority on WW but H and I did not live together before we got married. He lived about 2 hours away from me until 2 months before the wedding, when he finally got a job in my area. We had a very smooth transition to living together after we returned from our honeymoon. I don't regret waiting at all, but to each their own. It's what worked for us.

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  • FutureMrsL
    Super September 2017
    FutureMrsL ·
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    Definitely recommend it! FH and i have lived together almost 4 years. I think its good as you learn things about each other and learn how to compromise and communicate effectively!

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  • Nadia
    Master June 2017
    Nadia ·
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    FH and I moved in together 7 or so months after dating so we have lived together about 3.5 years. I honestly am so glad we did because we've learned so much about each other.

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  • JMA
    VIP August 2017
    JMA ·
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    It's a super personal decision but I know for me personally there is no way in hell I would agree to marry someone without living with them first. It's hard work and takes a bit of adjustment but you learn so much about each other--good and bad. I needed that reassurance that we could work as a team before we got married. We get married in August and have been living together for about 3 years. Don't regret it all!

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  • MNA
    Master April 2018
    MNA ·
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    DF and I do not currently live together, but we will be moving in together before too much longer. As long as you don't fall into the mindset of the relationship never feeling more committed/permanent once you are married, I don't see an issue with it.

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  • BlinkusMaximus
    Expert November 2017
    BlinkusMaximus ·
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    Like others, I highly recommend living together before marriage. People can be very different at home, and you might find out that they have home habits you just can't live with. It's better to learn about that before marriage so you can decide to work through it then, or if you can't deal with it for the rest of your marriage, rather than lead to early divorce as you learn a bunch of new things about one another your relationship can't handle.

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  • SHINY OBJECTS
    Expert March 2017
    SHINY OBJECTS ·
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    You should absolutely live together. There is no more excitement moving in together after wedding than there is before, and you learn so much more about the other person, but even more so about yourself. Personally I feel no one should get married without living together for at least a little bit before. Skepticism is in your head, that one you kind of just have to get past on your own, but do so knowing that lots of people do it, and will agree it's a good move.

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  • F
    Devoted October 2017
    FutureMrsKnowles ·
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    Definitely would not marry someone without living with them first. It's a completely different understanding of someone and I'd want to know that it was something I could deal with forever.

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  • kacienicole
    Dedicated March 2018
    kacienicole ·
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    FH and I have lived together for 2 years now...I highly recommend! That first year was so difficult! We learned so much about each other, and now things couldn't be better!

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  • Jakkia
    Expert August 2017
    Jakkia ·
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    It's best you know now than be "surprised" about it later. My FH and I have lived together for 4 years. Within 6 months of us being together we moved in together. We have learned a lot about each other, and we have also grown together. There were times we became upset with how the other person does things like e.g not filling the ice tray after all the ice is gone. I never knew how much it irritated my soul until we lived together. Now he makes an effort to remember to fill the trays. As well as there are some things I have done that has upset him. You don't want that to be the main thing you two argue about in the beginning of your marriage.

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  • D
    Just Said Yes December 2018
    Daniel & Brionna ·
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    Wow, thanks everyone! I do appreciate the feedback. We have been together 4 years and finishing our first year of long distance. It's definitely been an adjustment. Congratulations to everyone that has taken time to render advice and thanks again! Smiley smile

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    I don't think you absolutely have to live with your SO before you're married, and I don't think it was stupid that we chose not to do that. People have different, personal reasons for whether or not they make that choice. What works for one couple may not be what's best for another.

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  • spoopy
    Expert October 2017
    spoopy ·
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    I looked into this too, because I got engaged without living with my fiance. I was freaking out because how can we be engaged and have people take us seriously without us having a home together? But nah, it's not a big deal if you do or don't. Some people don't like the idea for religious reasons, other people won't marry someone they haven't lived with. I was honestly just worried about finding a place to live in general. Good luck!

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  • 24kMagicWed
    VIP May 2017
    24kMagicWed ·
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    I wouldn't marry my FH without living with him first. There could be some major deal breakers that you might not have seen coming. Dating and living together are entirely separate things. Finances, household chores, etc are things you need to know how they will be taken care of.

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