Letting go of bridesmaids

Okay hear me out before answering…


We got engaged in October 2020 and at the time I had a very close friend group in the town we live in. They were both part of planning the proposal so I immediately asked if they wanted to be bridesmaids.
Flash forward to that spring, my mom passed away from breast cancer and at the same time, I stopped being invited to girls night with them as often (or any other event that they did together). When I asked why, I was told it was because I was being too much of a bummer and they didn’t want to be with me (again, my mom had just died….)
Then after a few months we ended up moving 20 minutes out of town and they really stopped asking me to things, and never agreed to come to our new house when we invited them to parties. We virtually stopped seeing them and their SO’s entirely, after what was a few years of SOLID friendship.
The icing on the cake though is that I was in a head on car collision in May and we had to postpone our wedding out for another year (it was 6/25 and now it’s next June). Neither of these bridesmaids have really reached out to me about it other than one text weeks after the incident. It kind of felt like the final nail in the coffin of our friendship, and I have been incredibly hurt and frustrated about why they have completely abandoned me.
All of that to say — what do I do about them being in our wedding? Do I suck it up? Do I let them go? What’s worse is that in the almost 2 years we will have been engaged, I have a couple other new friends who ROSE to the occasion when I was in the hospital and someone FLEW from Alaska to just be with us. (We live in Oregon). I kind of want to honor her as a bridesmaid but I know “firing” BMs is such a taboo thing to do….
I’m just looking for advice. Please help ☹️