LDS bridesmaid

I would let her wear a shawl if she feels more comfortable

"I was bothered by this because I don't think friends should judge friends" - you do realise that you are judging her by not being understanding of how she feels

Don't tag her in pics. How horrible to worry about judgement from church friends. She was comfortable with it before. Have all formal pics done how you want, and she can wear a shawl for everything else. Only tag her in pics that aren't portraits.

ETA: you are already adding straps. Plenty of my LDS friends wear tank tops.

It's possible she's not actually comfortable with the dress due to her religious beliefs and is trying to blame it on "church friends". Let her wear the shawl or let her add sleeves to the dress (not just straps).

One of my BMs was LDS too, and I knew that having a sleeveless dress would be an issue for her, but she and the other girls picked one without sleeves. Her mom made her a little jacket that matched the dress to go over so that she could stay "modest" as her religious beliefs require. Other people's beliefs are bigger than your wedding.

Option one: let her wear a shawl.

Option two: have all the BMs wear a shawl and the can lose them after the pictures are done.

It's not something that needs to be a big deal and it is definitely a managable situation.

I agree - she may not actually be comfortable now that she has considered it. Let her wear a shrug.

Let her wear a shawl after the ceremony. She is a big girl and can untag herself on social media. Or, you could just not tag her and then keep your photos private/for friends only when posting. If her friends aren't friends with you on FB then its not really an issue.

I'm all for being respectful of another religion/beliefs/customs but this sounds like she isn't asking this because of her being uncomfortable with it, just that her friends might be.

She loved the dress though. She got married in the temple and needs to wear undergarments. There are certain times when she doesn't need to wear them but she said that on my wedding she wouldn't be able to wear her undergarments because the dress wouldn't cover it.

Am I suppose to find a pay for a shawl now?

I can see it being irritating if she said it's fine, but later didn't want to be judged on FB. It sounds like it's not against her beliefs, she's just worried about judgemental friends on FB. Mormons believe in modesty, but sleeves and high necks aren't mandatory by any means.

I'd let her wear a shawl if she wants to, but I hope it's per her own beliefs and not because her ward members will side-eye her.

I would guess she doesn't feel comfortable without the shawl, but I think it is something she would pay for herself, like the dress.

No Stephanie I would say she should pay for the shawl.

If you paid for the dress, she can pay for the shawl.

She should pay for it. That way she can pick what will work best for her.

She may have just agreed to please you, but now her personal convictions have kicked in.

Let her wear the shawl.

Rather than a shawl- what about adding cap sleeves? I am having a hard time picturing a shawl not being frumpy

Or one of those things...I think they are called a bordello? Shawl does sound grandma. I know nice ones exist. Ask her straight up if it is how she feels or if it is worries over what others think... One is worth considering, the other not so much.

ETA: Bolero!!

She might actually feel uncomfortable if she is used to wearing modest clothing and if she's not comfortable it will show in the pictures. I understand why you are kind of upset since she already ok'ed it, I would be too. But I think this is something you might have to let go.

Let her find something to cover it that makes her feel comfortable. You don't have to pay for it. It could be a shawl, cardi, bolero, shrug, or adding cap sleeves/wide straps. Her comfort is more important that uniformity.

Let her wear the shawl

I agree with the other ladies - let her find something that works for her, and let her pay for it.