Kids VS No Kids at Wedding

We found it hard to tell close family (sister and brothers) they can bring kids bit no one else... so we found a venue that kids meals really cheap and the first 15 kids are free. So the kids being there aren't costing us that much more money.

@Kristina I think your comment about the wedding being boring for kids hits the nail on the head for why I don't think kids belong at weddings. I get what Holly is saying about love and I can't disagree with that, but it is an adult event and really should stay that way in my opinion. If it were me, I would limit it just your kids or allow all kids. I am not sure your friends will really get the family verses friends difference in the kids.

Maybe I can make it optional and let the parents decide and see how that goes.

There are enough factors in mind for the parents to consider anyways and when they do consider these, they may decide to leave them at home with older sibling or find a sitter -

1. Would they like a nice time out without the kids?

2. Do they want their kids around people who are drinking?

3. Do they want to have to keep an eye on their kid(s) the whole time?

4. Would their kids find it fun to be at the wedding or would they rather be at home or at the sitters playing or watching a movie?

5. Depending on your time (such as LaKiesha B.'s start time) -- how does that conflict with their child's bedtime?

Many of the kids that are coming to my wedding has a role to play (RB, FG, Jr. Bridesmaid, Jr. Groomsmen, Guest Book Attendant, Program Attendants, and Bride's Attendant). Most of them are preteens or teenagers so I have made sure that they will have things to do (cornhole, hillbilly golf, volleyball, badmitton, etc.) during the reception. There will be no alcohol served so I don't have to worry about any "unruly" guests and the reception will only last a couple of hours. Right now the whole amount at the wedding/reception will only be 86 (kids included) so I say if someone brings more people the more the merrier.

When reviewing our guest list, we realized that a bunch of our friends had little ones - ages 2 and younger - and there was really no reason for them to come to the wedding, so we set an age limit and said children ages 10 and over were welcome.

We are, however, providing on-site child care for all of our out-of-town guests, since I know they'll want to have a nice night out but they won't want the stress of finding a sitter in a city they know no one in. We just went through a nanny agency - I think it will work great, so long as parents don't assume their kid is the "special" one to which the rules don't apply and bring them out to the reception... but I told my wedding planner to regulate if anyone does that!

When you fill out your invitations... address them to the adults only. Have Adult only reception on the invite.

When you address your sisters invite... address it to the family. I think it is ok for you to have your nieces and nephews... but question .. how old are they?

Also kids running around is a safety and liability issue... they can run into the photographer or the videographer.. both of which have Very expensive equipment.

I think that it is perfectly acceptable to have an adult only reception and invite your nieces and nephews. I'm having an adult only recption, but my soon to be 5 year old niece is the flower girl and if she wasn't she would still come because she is my favorite little girl in the whole wide world. (that's what I tell her) All of my sister's are under 18, and they will be there. Fh's 2 children, and his niece and nephew will be there. Oh and I forgot my God-daughter, so that's 9 kids. They all know that they have to behave. Beside, those kids love to dance. I couldn't get my niece off of the dance floor at my engagement party.

We are having an adult only wedding/ recpetion. We're getting married in a cathedral, and I don't see how a child could sit quietly through an hour long ceremony. We don't even have a RB or FG.

However, I have had someone already tell me they are bringing their son anyway, who is a newborn. Not sure how to handle that...

What?? I can't believe someone actually had the nerve and guts to tell you that they were going to bring their son anyway AFTER you had told them that it was an adult only celebration!! I know it's just a newborn and he'll most likely sleep and quietly eat off and on throughout the entire event, but if others have children then they may not see it in that way.. Also, what is he just starts crying in the middle of yours "I Dos" or a special toast or something??

I think that wether or not kids belong at weddings is entirely up to the couple. We had kids. All my nieces and nephews attended, along with my younger 2nd cousins. Luckily, after that, barely any of our other guests had kids, and if they did, they were grown up/not close to us/etc and not invited. I think the only way kids learn to behave in public/event/etc, is to take them there. My cousin never, ever takes her son out to resturants 'because he probably wouldn't behave' and that's because he was never in one and taught/learned how to behave. Not sure how you would want to word immediate families children only on the card..

@ Glenn, I have never seen a bored child at a wedding! Maybe older ones like 10 and older, if there is no place for them to play outside safely. They have so much fun dancing, meeting and playing with other kids. But I understand that it's not for all couples, and I would never bring my (future)kids to a wedding that clearly stated "Adults Only", nor would I ask to bring them.

No children. i *may* have a flowergirl.. but i am still debating that.

We are allowing kids to come. My FH's niece (4) and nephew (12) will be in the wedding. Along with our 2 sons as the ringbearers (1 & 4). They'll all be a year older next yr. Luckily we have a mobile babysitting company that will be onsite to watch all of the kids during the ceremony and reception in case ppl decide to bring their kids and they are too much to handle or the parents just want to enjoy. We will make sure we include that in the invites to get a headcount b/c I'd be mad if we paid for that mobile babysitter and no kids showed.

I was thinking about the same thing i have my sister newphews neice my son and my cousins which have to come i just cant have them not come but as for friends with their kids i honestly have no clue about because we are only having around 50 people and its ok if babies come because they dont really eat but as for paying for a kid who wont eat whats being served we just dont have the money for that so im not sure what to do either

Nope no kids. Our venue is on the smaller side and I don't want little feet running around the dance floor or getting into anyone's way. We want an adult affair and I don't particularly think it's cute when the flower girl is running around during toasts, dances, etc. But that's just me.

I am allowing kids just cuz some I haven't seen in a long time, and also I mean I'd only have about 10 there anyways, if that ..if i had more that could possibly come i may limit it..Honestly, on the appropriateness thing I think it boils down to the kids and their parents; some kids are more well behaved than others. If you bring your kids to a wedding you don't get trashed..At least with my guests I know they all have good judgement; also I'm having my reception at a hotel I chose that for convenience and safety factor for my guests.

Okay so your guests bring their kids to your wedding and because they have their kids with them, they don't get trashed... BUTTT you do have guests that have no children at all or maybe just want to celebrate without them so they got a sitter for the night and they will be drinking and dancing and partying it up...

What then? I mean my guests aren't animals or anything, but do you really think children should be around a bunch of drinking adults? Or how about that guest who sets their cup down not thinking in arms reach of a younger child, would you want to risk that child sneaking a sip? or etc... Heck, I use to do that. My dad said when I was younger (toddler age), they had to watch beer around me because if they looked away for a second - I would have my grandmother's beer in my hands sipping on it! He said I would CONSTANTLY do it.

I haven't fully decided. Alot of good points from both sides of the fence on this issue. I understand where both is coming from.

We are going so far as to not having ANY offspring(accept our own). Many of our friends have kids that are 21 and older. While they may be legally able to drink,we still don't want them at our wedding weekend. We have carefully planned our "Big Chill" meets "Wild Hogs" weekend, and when offspring are present, the adults turn on their parent switch. Besides, we can only fit 60.

It is a very personal decision, and while I always usually err on the side of being a good hostess over being a bride. On this topic, we won't budge.

There is no easy answer. I finally decided for us, it was inviting all or none, we went with all.

I deal with brats at Starbucks all the time, it's just a fact of life lol. not that starbucks is comparable to a wedding..I mean I think the decision has to be made based on your own crowd..Every wedding I've been to nobody is puking or rolling on the floor..and kids didn't impede adult fun..but at every wedding I've been to there are quite a few people that don't drink, but there is a party crowd but it's not all out mayhem for the kids..Unless your wedding is at a bar, or if the whole crowd was 20 year olds then ya, no kids should be there.

As Carole wisely stated it is a personal decision, so I don't think we can make one blanket statement or judgement one way or the other :-)