Keeping your last name?

There are so many great responses here! It's interesting to hear everyone story and how people arrived at their last names (or future last names).

I like the idea of the hyphen and actually FH and I though about hyphening for a hot two seconds. However, my last name is very Ukrainian with too many constants and his is a classic English name and they look terrible together. .. not that is necessarily worst but we decided not for us.

This is semi related- I was really bored at work the other day so I decided to practice what my signiture would look like with the hyphenated name. It's so hard. My name now has really loopy letters and his has really straight letters. I kept messing up.

Later I told him I keep missing the 'h' in his last name and he goes "Yeah me too. I almost never write the 'h' "

Why the hell do people even care anymore about whether or not you change your name? Seriously, it's none of their business. We all have a variety of reasons why we changed our names or not. No one needs to judge it based off of ancient "rules". Keep your name and be damn proud of it!

I think changing your name is a very personal decision and people change and keep their names for a bunch of different reasons. I wouldn't even explain myself to those people who ask because it's none of their business. I am changing my name to my FH's but that's my own personal choice.

Me and my (also female) partner are both keeping our names. That's led to a lot of interesting questions from both of our families haha

PhD here. Not changing my name. Many of my friends didn't either. I understand the side eye regarding the name issue ... I get it from my family. It sucks, but it is their emotional crap getting in the way of being happy for you. Don't let it get you down. You keep on rocking!!!!

I thought about it especially since my massage therapy certification has my maiden name on it we're even if I do take his last name my license for massage can have that and don't have to be the same but if we get divorced like one of my instructors did I would end up having to keep his last name because I don't want to have to pay to change it it's like $400 just to change the name which is crazy and takes months

I'm doing the same thing for similar reasons. I will be keeping my maiden name legally, but will use his socially.

Wow that's so dumb.. What rude comments!

"FH didn't want to change his name, so I'm not, either."

I'm not changing my name for professional reasons either — but also because I don't really see the need to. (But do think it's romantic when people do!) FH's mom didn't change her name and neither do many people in my profession so I haven't gotten a ton of weird comments.

For a lot of people it's just adjusting to a change in tradition. If you're the first person they know (or in the family) to do this, they probably don't know what to think — or that a lot of people do what you're doing these days.

"FH didn't want to change his name, so I'm not, either."

I'm not changing my name for professional reasons either — but also because I don't really see the need to. (But do think it's romantic when people do!) FH's mom didn't change her name and neither do many people in my profession so I haven't gotten a ton of weird comments.

For a lot of people it's just adjusting to a change in tradition. If you're the first person they know (or in the family) to do this, they probably don't know what to think — or that a lot of people do what you're doing these days.

I have kind of the opposite issue. I'm pretty feminist and so is FH, so most people thought I would NOT take his name.... but I write urban fantasy and paranormal romance and when I'm eventually published I want to do it under my birth name (I've even had people ask if it was my pen name, it's nice and generic. Lol).

All cool so far, but I currently work in academia, and also publish/present academic stuff related to my field (and I'm a social worker, so I've practiced clinically and might again) - all of which I'd prefer to do under a different name than my novels! So I get married, take his name, and problem solved.

At one point, a partner at the firm I was with asked me snidely why my then husband and I didn't have the same last name. I responded that my husband had elected to keep his name when we got married. At least it shut the guy up!

@rabb: The funniest one for me along those lines was our alterations person. We'd explained in the very beginning that there were two brides, and two dresses that needed altering, and she was fine with that. But when it came time to pay, she asked each of us our last names. She then said to NotFroofy, "So you'll be [my last name] after you're married?" And she seemed quite shocked when NotFroofy said we'd be keeping our separate last names.

We're still not sure a) why same-sex marriage was okay with her but keeping one's own last name was shocking, and b) why she was so sure that NotFroofy, not I, was the one who should be changing her name. Of course, NotFroofy thinks it's because she's shorter and has bigger boobs, so clearly she's the "girl."

I am changing my last name but I would just say that's your decision and its easier to keep the professional name

I kept my last name. It's 2016, people need to get over it and mind their own business. I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think.

I'm not changing my last name. Where I'm from it's not the norm and FH had to understand that I wanted to mantain that part of my culture. We are also finishing up our graduate degrees. I definitely want to have my last name shine next to [Dr. ] after those years of hard work!

I'm keeping my last name! It has a lot of meaning to me and as a first generation immigrant it's important for me to be connected with my family back home. My FH is extremely understanding and he even offered to change his last name to mine.

I'm also keeping my last name, but it's common here so I don't get any rude reactions like you have gotten. Tell them to mind their own business.

It is your choice!

I will be changing my last name, but I don't judge anyone who keeps their name!