I have found these forums to be so helpful and supportive - like a team of brides and wives who "get it" and truly want to help without even knowing anyone. That said, I've posted before about issues with my FMIL but things took another downturn this weekend.
In the span of a month I was diagnosed with Crohn's, had to postpone our wedding due to COVID, and had emergency surgery. On top of that, my fiancé and I are moving from Philly to Dallas in June/July before our late August wedding. Truth be told, we have a backup plan with my Mom (she is paying for the wedding) and our planner since it is in NY and our state is hit badly (not getting married in the city). I think this is fair given all that is happening and quite frankly, I am perfectly fine if we postpone until next spring/summer because we are legally marrying no matter what this summer and not making a thing of it.
With all that has happened, I feel that I need to breathe a bit and get settled in a new city and feel healthy again. My mom and siblings completely understand us wanting to postpone and make it legal for health purposes, watching our backs, etc. but when we mentioned it to his parents, the reaction was, "Are you kidding me?" They got on us about not having an "official" wedding date (would it be the courthouse date or the ceremony and reception), how we can't tell people, how they need to be there when it happens. I told them that it really would not be a huge production and that I can't make my Mom travel if it is not safe or put that pressure on her, especially since she is a widow. I even called the courthouse and they mentioned they aren't letting people come in other than the couple getting married because of the virus. I wish we hadn't mentioned it in the first place but it slipped out, thinking we would get support. My fiancé is going to tell them that it will be done just the two of us since we can't handle a big production right now and we would be doing it even if August is still a go (FMIL said I'd need to buy a courthouse dress, invite people over after, plan a weekend out of it, etc).
I know that I need to do what is right for us but her constant comments/questions when she knows how stressed we are and how much she has already overstepped is becoming too much. I've posted about it before and it just never seems to stop and takes all of the "goodness" out of this whole process. Things are already hard enough with COVID. Please, help 
