Just found out I'm pregnant...

No it's not wrong that you feel that way. Do you know how far along you are?

Could you possibly just do a small JOP wedding now and then keep your big one for next year? And congrats! Baby's are such a blessing :-).

@kshiv- I'm not sure yet I'm waiting to get approved to be added onto FH's insurance so I can get an appointment with a doctor.

@jj- thank you and you're right babies are a blessing and I'm lucky to have this blessing. I dont think FH wants to do the JOP wedding he seems to really like the idea of doing a smaller more intimate wedding this summer instead

With the expense of a baby, I don't think you'd want to do the large wedding next year. The smaller more intimate wedding would take a lot of stress of you financially. Plus once the baby arrives, the disappointment will fade in an instant. Congratulations!!!

@lovely- FH wants to be married before the baby comes. If it was up to me I would be fine with waiting and keeping my date but he is set on being married beforehand. The video idea is great, I wasn't even thinking about that. Thank you

What if you just did a JOP wedding for the time being, and still have your big wedding next year if you can afford it? They're technically referred to as "vow renewals" but a lot of us on here have to do them.

Congratulations! I like jennhutch's idea!

Agree w/Sharon. I would do small wedding and save for the baby. Babies are a blessing but they are also expensive. So isntead of planning a wedding, you can plan for the smaller wedding & upcoming baby.

As a mother I agree with Sharon, I would go for the small wedding and save the extra expenses for the baby, you're going to need them. I like the video idea for the brother though.

Personally, I would wait and keep my date.. You have a year and yes you will have a baby, but this summer you'll be mid-pregnancy, and I can't imagine that being fun? Does he want to get married before the baby because it's the "right" way to do things? Or, what's his reasoning for wanting to be married before the baby?

Oh, and congrats on the baby. Be excited! It'll go by quickly!

Congratulations. I agree that babies are a big expense but, i know first hand that they can also become a reason not to do what you want. I will say that IMO you should do the wedding as planned and maybe a secret ceremony for Fh sake. I think if you save as much as you can (trying not to splurge on wedding extras) you will be okay financially. Honestly, the 1st baby is usually the most given too from showers and baby ooglers so I feel like ours didnt get expensive until after the 1 yr marker. but, we have BIG families and it was 1st grandbaby all around.

DONT decide anything until you have considered all things, agreed and stayed agreed for 48 hrs. that way it wont be a quick desicion you regret.

Depending on your states requirements you could do a JP ceremony on 3/19/10 and a smaller intimate wedding with friends on your first anniversary. Babies are expensive but with planning you could be ready for baby in 6 or 7 months when its born and a imtimate ceremony in a year. Do you already hav vedors you would have to cancel on.?

It's too late to do a 3/19/10 wedding, that already passed

Do whatever is right for you. If I were in your shoes, I would wait until after the baby was born and have your planned wedding. Just think about it, you have some time

Congrats! I was in the same situation. I had my wedding all planned out in 2008. But I found out I was pregnant about 2 months after planning. My daughter is now 7 months old and we are getting married 8-21-10 It will all work out for you. Good Luck!

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and suggestions. Me and FH have decided that we are going to take some time to think everything through and go through all the pros and cons of all possibilities before making a definite decision. Thank you everyone for all your help, you ladies have really helped calm me down and ease my mind a little bit.

Great idea, you sound very rational. I am sure you guys will work things out in a way that is best for you both and your future child.

Could you do a JOP thing this summer and have a smaller, intimate thing on your original date that would include your brother. I have to say for me, that would be the biggest part, not having my brother. So maybe you could still do the smaller thing on the original date, which saves money and allows your brother to be there, but JOP before the baby is born to appease your husband. You also may be able to skype your brother in if the timing works so he's there in "live time".