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Just Said Yes May 2023

Just diagnosed with breast cancer, decided to postpone wedding but not sure how to let guests know?

Robyn, on March 31, 2022 at 1:41 PM Posted in Planning 0 6

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I have recently been diagnosed 4 months before my wedding celebration with (minimum) Stage II breast cancer, I still have to undergo a barrage of tests to see if it has spread anywhere else. It was a shock as I am only 32 years old.. I will need at least 6 rounds of chemo plus major surgery, which my wedding date of July would fall right in the middle of. Plus my husband and I are already legally married (we went to the courthouse last year), so we decided to postpone this marriage celebration to the end of this year as it was more for family and friends. I just have no idea how/if I should announce the reason to the 100+ people we invited (most of my closer friends know). My coordinator suggested I could put something generic like "due to reasons out of our control..." but said we might get questions anyways. Or I could possibly send out postponement notices with a generic reason, but individually email people? Thanks!

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Stacey, on March 31, 2022 at 7:06 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on March 31, 2022 at 2:07 PM
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I think you can send out postponement notices with a generic reason. if anyone asks and you're comfortable telling them why, then you can tell them. but if you're not comfortable with those asking questions, you can just state the generic reason like e.g. things came up, it wasn't the right time, etc.
also i just want to wish you best of luck with your health!
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 31, 2022 at 2:58 PM
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Be honest about everything. Are family and friends aware that this is a renewal celebration and you are already legally married? Some family and friends may be upset you hid the health news. Others don’t like it when people are not transparent about their marriage status (engaged vs married vs a legal ceremony guests are not invited to). Since you are already married, have a vow renewal celebration down the road when you are feeling better.
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Dedicated May 2019
Kylie · on March 31, 2022 at 4:02 PM
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I am so sorry to hear that. I think your coordinator’s wording is good, and if people have questions, they’ll reach out to you (or to your close family members).
Not announcing the specific reason you are postponing in formal communications isn’t dishonest, and no one is owed your private health concerns unless YOU want to tell them.
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Dedicated June 2023
Linda · on March 31, 2022 at 4:34 PM
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Just send out little cards (you can find some affordable ones on sites like shutterfly, etsy, etc) in the mail letting them know that due to unforeseen circumstances you and your husband have decided to postpone the wedding. Please look out for our new date as we look forward to celebrating with you!
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Expert February 2023
Kristen · on March 31, 2022 at 6:24 PM
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Oh my love, I’m so sorry you have to go through that. I think generic is good. You don’t owe anyone any specific explanation. This is a personal matter.

Wishing you strength, love and health. 💖
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on March 31, 2022 at 7:06 PM
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I am so sorry I also have breast cancer though mine was not diagnosed until after our wedding. The first couple of months after a diagnosis are very stressful with so many procedures, appointments, and unknowns, I think you’re absolutely doing the right thing to postpone until a less chaotic time. Your coordinator’s suggestion is perfect. You don’t owe anyone an explanation if you are not ready - it took me two months before I could even say the words outloud to anyone but my husband and it was very hard and emotional. Best wishes for strength and health during this hard time. ❤️❤️
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