Jack and Jill's? Stag and doe's ?

Never heard of this but it sounds horrible!

Never heard of it and I am glad nobody I know has ever done this. It's definitely tacky.

What??

Why would you say no to a Jack and Jill but yes to a shower?

Since I've only recently heard of these on WW I looked them up and got a little different idea of what it was about. What I got out of it was that a Jack and Jill party was done instead of a shower and with both genders. Instead of purchasing a $50 toaster, you would be purchasing a $50 ticket to a party. And just like a shower hosted with maybe mimosas and brunch, a Jack and Jill would also provide food and drinks. And instead of playing bridal games and watching someone open presents, you play drinking games and have entertainment. The couple could then use the money from the party to start their lives together just the same as the shower gifts.

As for the stag parties, I thought those were just another name for a bachelore/bachelorette parties?

I don't know, maybe I'm miss understanding what a Jack and Jill party is. I kinda wanna go to one to see now

So this isn't even a thing in all of Massachusetts - apparently just the western part?

I'm a Boston/North Shore girl and have NEVER heard of a wedding fundraiser. We do normal bridal showers and bacherlor/bacherlorette parties. Gifts are given at the former and the participants help pay for the bride/groom at the latter, but they are not fundraisers.

ETA: OP please don't do this, as PPs have stated this is tacky AF.

They are supposedly very common where I'm from, but no one I know is tacky enough to throw one. I see ads for them on church billboards all the time.

I'm from South Shore MA and I have never heard of this. This sounds terrible. Hard pass.

Eeeek. This sounds so tacky. I thought J&J were co-ed showers, so I guess I've been mistaken! I live in FL and have never even heard of this concept.

@Angel I see what you're saying, but when attending a bridal shower you don't HAVE to bring that $50 toaster, spend $50, or bring anything at all. So do you HAVE to purchase a $50 ticket to attend this fundraising party?

I was invited to one. They're not common at all in this area and as soon as I learned what it was I just noped the fuck out. I wasn't invited to the wedding either. I think the whole thing is trashy and cheap. A wedding isn't a charity. If you can't afford one then you elope. People are still talking about how tacky the whole thing was and it was over ten years ago.

Angel, but you don't have to purchase the $50 toaster. Most registries have items from $5-$500. You're also not paying for drinks or food and everyone who is invited to the shower is invited to the wedding. Which isn't the case with the Jack and Jill.

I have been invited to many a Jack and Jill parties when I lived in Buffalo.....always seemed strange to me, would not advise anyone consider it, of course.

Sarah, I think I live close to where you live and I had never heard of them before the one I was invited to and haven't been invited to one since. I always thought they were a Western Mass thing.

Oh, ok. I'm a little further up on the seacoast but the one I was invited to was actually in Lowell!

I think it's commin in parts of Mass. When I lived in Springfield I was invited to one for almost every wedding I attended. In Florida, not one invite in 10 years.

Stag and doe's are pretty common in Ontario, depending where you live. I've been to a couple as a guest and even helped out at a few. Honestly it was so common I didn't realize it was rude until I joined wedding forums. I am ashamed to say I even told a couple brides to have them. this was when i was under 25 my mentality was very different. Old me would never throw a fundraiser for my wedding.

Basically you charge admission and raffle off prizes you have gotten for free from local businesses or where ever. You also charge for food and drinks or make admission higher to include the cost. If you know a lot of people you can make a bit of money off of these without having to spend much. I have also seen guys do this but they will host a casino night and charge a fee to get in.

This is largely a CT thing, and it seems to be spreading into MA.

Extremely common here. I am NOT having one, but FSIL and my stepmother are both really offended I won't let them host one for us. Most couples walk away with $**** from a jack and Jill, it's literally a fundraiser.

The Bridal party is in charge of selling tickets to anyone and everyone they can, even people who don't know the bride or groom. Each bridal party member is also usually responsible for creating a raffle basket. The bride and groom keep all the money from the ticket sales and raffle minus the cost of the party.

Stags are very similar, but usually only men are invited and they are more like a shower/night of partying for the guys.

Most people who do these don't have the money to have a wedding and think this is the way. It's gross. I've never attended any of the ones I've been invited to.

What is a wedding fundraiser?what the hell

I thought the OP was talking about coed shower and bachelor/bachelorette party...

@FutureMrsG- thanks for explaining. I have never heard of that before in my whole life. What the hell.

So OP if you are referring to that don't do it!

Yes, I've heard of Jack and Jills in my area. One couple advertised theirs to the world on Facebook. They had tickets for sale, and they even advertised more than once (we still have X tickets! Tell your friends!). I found it completely repulsive. It's not cute or clever. Your wedding is not a worthy charity event.

@FutureMrsG....the couple was from CT! I grew up there. I always think of my home state as having educated and classy people, but alas such is not the case. It doesn't seem to have made its way to Upstate NY yet. At least not in my social circle. I have heard of this being a thing in Canada as well.