It's us or her! So beyond furious. sil from hell!

It's important for us because..

1. Wedding was rushed and had almost no family of friends due to his Grandmother being very ill. 2. We chose Friday the 13th because he was born on one thus the best day of my life and this is the first time our anniversary is on a Friday. 3. She choose the day cause it sounded fun and the Friday the 13 in December of 19 is too far. 4. And the big one, she was secretly married 2 days before announcing her engagement and wants to celebrate on our day instead of us cause she has more money and her party will be more fun than our anniversary. We have chosen to inform her we may possibly attend her next wedding to her next wife and hope she got a prenup because her wife is poor and unemployed. We are moving forward and she is not included even if they break up because it will be our day and not about her.

She bought their Grandmothers house and chopped the arbor down we were married in front of. She wants it rebuilt for her faked wedding on our date. She wants my husband to build it, cancel our plans permanently and just choose her way. NEVER going to happen.

Again. If she wants the thing rebuilt, she has to spend the money. You don't have to do anything. You could offer to schedule "help" but I would totally schedule it on her "wedding" day. Karma is a witch, and that witch should be coming home with this kind of a problem. Throw her broom in it and cackle menacingly about it. Yeah, it makes me a tad vengeful(I can live with that), but how much of a percentage is my response compared to THIS person? 100% to like 2%?

If the arch mechanism is still there all you have to do really is plant a few flowers: clemetis, moonflower, morning flower, or petunias(those are so easy and aggressive in a southern garden). But why would you want to when this person has sought to destroy this arbor?

You should go along with your plans. I would say don't make it a big issue if family members choose to go to hers rather than yours. If they see what's been going on like you do they'll probably choose yours but you don't want to involve other people in the issue that you're having with her. If anything I would have your husband say something to his family verses you so that way there won't be any animosity with you and the family.

Update: I changed the date. I backed off and she lost her mind. They are divorcing or did and she has a new-ish gf (the ex). She stopped talking to us all together and is moving to the gfs area. I hope it works out and she stays. My Hubby is maintaining his relationship with mom but not improved yet. I think things could be okay some time in the future.