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Candi
Super October 2023

It's us or her! So beyond furious. sil from hell!

Candi, on February 6, 2019 at 12:32 AM

Posted in Family and Relationships 65

My sister in law who was at our wedding and now lives in the house we were married in is so selfish. We have had a difficult relationship from the start due to her need to be in charge. She was married the January prior to our wedding and we dressed formally for it and were respectful. Hubby walked...

My sister in law who was at our wedding and now lives in the house we were married in is so selfish. We have had a difficult relationship from the start due to her need to be in charge. She was married the January prior to our wedding and we dressed formally for it and were respectful. Hubby walked her down the isle. We called everyone a few months later to share our engagement and they 5 weeks before the wedding posted about getting the license. I was customarily cussed out for not telling her so she could come. She showed up to the wedding in a pair of men's basketball shorts and a tank that was semi dressy. She questioned me about my panties and even changed all the arrangements while I was getting ready. Yesterday she got engaged to her girlfriend of a few weeks. Posted pics online and announced publicly. Never called or sent a text to us or even mentioned that she was dating another new girl. (She was married and divorced the year we were married.) This is her 3rd engagement in 3 years. Tonight she messaged my husband to inform him she is getting married to this girl on our Friday September 13th, 2019. As in our anniversary and our renewal date. She laughed and said oh well about our plans. Her mother favors her over my husband and so I feel like the family will side with her though it will probably not be her last wedding as she doesn't settle down well. I am wondering do I cancel, reschedule, or tell family to pick? I have about 3 weeks to decide.

65 Comments

  • Candi
    Super October 2023
    Candi ·
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    She bought their grandmothers house when she passed. We do not nottr have we ever let her live with us.


    • Reply
  • Candi
    Super October 2023
    Candi ·
    • Flag

    Today she called to inform my husband that she is married to the girl and has been since the 4th of this month. Please don't tell mom, lol, oops too late. She wants to celebrate her February vows on our date.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Phew! I’m glad to hear that!
    Also, wow! She decided to get married and go that route?! Wow!
    • Reply
  • C
    Beginner June 2019
    Casey ·
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    It will all work out and you won't make people choose it's up to them but believe me if it's her 3rd wedding I don't think a lot of people are going to that wedding... I'm so sorry you have to go though this.... I wish you and your husband a happy anniversary and many more happy years to come!!!

    • Reply
  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    These are brilliant!... Can you just pre-write all responses to stupid things people say for me?!
    • Reply
  • Gipperkm
    Super September 2018
    Gipperkm ·
    • Flag

    She sounds like a very spiteful person who loves stirring up drama. If it were me, I would RSVP no to her wedding and then have a private vow renewal with my husband. This way, no one gets to choose who goes to which celebration.

    • Reply
  • Monica
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Monica ·
    • Flag
    Listen, She sounds incredible bitter seeing that your one marriage lasted longer than all her previous ones. Id say keep your plans, if his family isnt supportive then they can come if they want, ofcourse rsvp and i mean they seen that girl get married 3 times its nothing new. If they dont come, well at least your family will be there. Sometimes playing their game will mean they think you know whos in charge instead of them trying to compromise and avoid conflict.
    • Reply
  • Marquita
    Dedicated August 2020
    Marquita ·
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    Perfect rebuttal

    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Super December 2018
    Courtney ·
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    Hahaha!!! Yes!

    For the incredibly low price of
    $19.95
    You TOO can have a curated response ready for all the haters in your life!

    Cost does not include shipping and handling.
    ♡♡♡♡♡
    • Reply
  • Candi
    Super October 2023
    Candi ·
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    She is already married and has been since 2 days before posting the engagement pics. It's a secret marriage and she just wants to renew on our day where we were married on our anniversary. She expect my husband to rebuild our arbor she destroyed so she can fake this wedding for everyone and to pretend she isn't married yet.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    1) The destruction of your property would have me reminding her of that and that if she wants it she can not only fix it, but style it any way her black little heart desires
    2) I would have my Ceremony, regardless of what she wants, because she has NO reason to expect that Your Anniversary be given up for a woman she’s Already married to & it probably won’t last.
    3) I am not that kind of a person so I’d tell her that “If you don’t STOP NOW, back off of our date and being so hateful, then I will inform All the family and friends that you two are already married and are purposefully choosing the one date in 365 days that has meaning to US! Pick another or I tell them.”
    4) Her jealously of you and your Husband is stunning. She not only wants to pick the date you have to hurt you but to copy you.
    She reminds me of my 21yo FSD. My grandfather died( who was like my dad) and she DEMANDED that Dadddddddy take her to TKD( takwando)and go to class with her, as well as take HER to dinner after!!! And he did take her to TKD! Then I had a major surgery, coded in recovery and the “darling”( choking on that!) girl demanded that Dadddddy come pick her up and take her to dinner- she gave him the ultimatum of “Me or her” and he left me after an hr to take her to dinner! We “discussed” this & he is regretful of his stupidity and has promised to try to NOT jump when she says to....

    I am soooooo sorry that you are going through this and I hope it gets better!
    • Reply
  • Kortney
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Kortney ·
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    Agreed!! hah

    • Reply
  • N
    Expert July 2019
    Natalie ·
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    I agree! Couldn’t have said it better myself
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted April 2021
    Soon2BMrsR ·
    • Flag

    Destruction of your property is enough reason to have someone arrested and evicted from the premises. Landlords have done more for less. That crap should not fly and you tell her that if she wants to have the arbor fixed she is paying for it and if she doesn't like it she and her new whatever the heck it is can go to a shelter. This is way too much even for normal people to bare. Throw her out, if she has nowhere to go, it's not your problem.

    Her life is exactly the way she chose it to be.

    • Reply
  • Kyle-Lynn
    Expert February 2019
    Kyle-Lynn ·
    • Flag

    WOAH. This sounds awful, so my heart goes out to you. First of all, oh no, I wouldn't tolerate any of that. I agree, it's your decision. If people really want to be there, they will be. Celebrate your day with your love.

    Unfortunately, you can't pick your in laws, but you can choose not to let her affect you, and make choices purely for yourself. Honestly, I would cut off communication.

    Less drama, more happy.

    • Reply
  • #RMC2019
    Expert July 2019
    #RMC2019 ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't change my dates. I would let the family know that my date and event was set first and that they are welcomed to show and its ok if they dont. After this I would be careful about giving her information whats taking place with what you and your hubby have going on.

    • Reply
  • Erika
    Expert April 2019
    Erika ·
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    Yessss this is awesome!!! Do not change what you have planned.

    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag

    That's extremely childish and she doesn't deserve your attention WHATSOEVER! You enjoy your day and quite honestly, if they're not going to care, neither should you. Don't let it ruin your special day or any other day for that matter. Keep your date! Let her do what she does.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    If MIL backs her, so what? As long as you and hubby are on the same page, none of that should matter. It is honorable that you don't want to force family members to choose. So maybe just focus on yourselves for your 6 year. Unless there is a particular reason you want to renew, pushing the issue probably won't win you any points, especially if momma already thinks SIL lays golden eggs. It sounds like you haven't done any serious planning or made any commitments yet. So plan something just the two of you for this year, and start planning for next year's renewal. Be vocal about it. Heck, you can even let everyone know that you were going to plan a renewal this year but wanted to respect sis getting married this year so pushed it to next year. (You show you are the bigger person.) Send out STDs for next year soon. Take the wind out of her sails by not even making it an issue. When she makes the inevitable jokes about you sharing a day, have a witty comment ready, about how the day may be the same but the memories are different or something like that. Don't let her see it bothers you. Be serene. That will do more to get her panties in a bunch than anything else.

    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted April 2021
    Soon2BMrsR ·
    • Flag
    Here’s a great passive aggressive suggestion: schedule maintenance on the arbor on her scheduled date. Don’t tell her. Case sealed and filed under your “I can be a nasty person if you are nasty to me” category. Nothing to be ashamed about. Not your problem.
    • Reply

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