Candi
Super September 2019

It's us or her! So beyond furious. sil from hell!

Candi, on February 6, 2019 at 12:32 AM Posted in Family and Relationships

My sister in law who was at our wedding and now lives in the house we were married in is so selfish. We have had a difficult relationship from the start due to her need to be in charge. She was married the January prior to our wedding and we dressed formally for it and were respectful. Hubby walked her down the isle. We called everyone a few months later to share our engagement and they 5 weeks before the wedding posted about getting the license. I was customarily cussed out for not telling her so she could come. She showed up to the wedding in a pair of men's basketball shorts and a tank that was semi dressy. She questioned me about my panties and even changed all the arrangements while I was getting ready. Yesterday she got engaged to her girlfriend of a few weeks. Posted pics online and announced publicly. Never called or sent a text to us or even mentioned that she was dating another new girl. (She was married and divorced the year we were married.) This is her 3rd engagement in 3 years. Tonight she messaged my husband to inform him she is getting married to this girl on our Friday September 13th, 2019. As in our anniversary and our renewal date. She laughed and said oh well about our plans. Her mother favors her over my husband and so I feel like the family will side with her though it will probably not be her last wedding as she doesn't settle down well. I am wondering do I cancel, reschedule, or tell family to pick? I have about 3 weeks to decide.

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57 Comments

  • Danielle
    Devoted April 2020
    Danielle ·
    She did that out of spite I wouldn't deal with it I would forget all about it and continue with your plans if she didn't have half a mind to remember your wedding date then you shouldn't have half the mind to reschedule. I have a similar petty issue myself with my FSIL where she is pissed off that our wedding is on her birthday and she had the balls to tell us to move our date! Hell no lol it's not my fault I had to push the wedding back a day for it to accidentally be on your birthday and same goes for you it's not your fault that she decided to get married on your anniversary date you can tell her that if she want you and your hubby to attend she better pick a new date and put your foot down on it too
  • Candi
    Super September 2019
    Candi ·
    View Quoted Comment

    This is our 6 year anniversary and shouldn't be news to her. We decided to put our foot down about attending hers for sure but not sure how I feel about making people choose.

  • Danielle
    Devoted April 2020
    Danielle ·
    View Quoted Comment
    In my opinion she should have known better also I feel like she is acting like a child and if you are going to act like a child you should be treated as such
  • Courtney
    Super December 2018
    Courtney ·
    "Oh goodness, it's unfortunate that we have already scheduled that day. I guess we'll note down that you won't attend our celebration. Best of luck to you!"

    Don't play ball. Don't get upset and don't add to the drama she's trying to create.
  • A
    Devoted August 2018
    Ally ·
    Can you just not pay any mind to her? Looks like shes going out of her way to piss you off. Just let her have what she wants. Be the bigger person. The hype will be shortlived
  • PorterPoppin
    Rockstar March 2019
    PorterPoppin ·
    Wow that’s very spiteful of her!! Has your husband hasn’t said anything to her about it? If it was my sibling I’d speak up about it, but at the same time they know better. Smh it sucks that she’s like this. I say don’t change any of your plans..unfortunately guests will have to choose and if they’re smart, they’ll choose you guys. His mom is okay with her being that way too? Sheesh
  • V
    Super April 2019
    Valerie ·
    View Quoted Comment

    THIS. People like your sister thrive off of other giving in to the drama.

  • Yoice
    Super March 2019
    Yoice ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with both post! Don’t mind her.
  • Brittany
    Rockstar April 2019
    Brittany ·

    As everyone else has said, don't change your plans, and don't stress hers. From what you've told us here, her relationships don't last long. She might not even be planning a wedding anymore by the time September rolls around. That's plenty of time for something to go wrong lol chin up OP! Everything will work itself out!

  • Annie
    Super October 2018
    Annie ·

    I would block her on every platform possible; phone number, social media, email, etc. She sounds like a train wreck and not someone you want in your life.

  • Rae
    Devoted July 2019
    Rae ·
    I wouldn’t change anything. With her history there’s a strong likelihood she never even makes it down the aisle. Be kind towards her and other family members about the situation but move forward.
  • Danielle
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle ·

    Wow, she sucks! I wouldn't reschedule, especially if you already set the date and told people about it. From the sound of it, she will probably be broken up before then anyways. Don't ask anyone to choose. Just continue with your planning and let them choose which one to go to, if it comes to that. If they favor her, and can't see what she is doing, then I wouldn't want that kind of drama at my event anyways.

  • Future Mrs.
    Super March 2019
    Future Mrs. ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Perfect response. She literally trying to get a rise out of both of you. Not to be be disrespectful towards her but don’t reschedule your day for a nasty person like that, and certainly don’t change it for a marriage that’s most likely not going to last
  • HayMrsO
    Rockstar October 2018
    HayMrsO ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree 100%

    Do not negotiate with terrorists. Let it go.

  • Concetta
    Devoted March 2020
    Concetta ·
    Honestly I think she did this on purpose and I would notcancel or alter my plans to please her, especially being her 3rd engagement and probably not her last lol and you’re was booked and scheduled first. I️m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
  • Disneybride
    Dedicated November 2020
    Disneybride ·
    I'm sorry just say sorry you won't be able to make it
  • Candi
    Super September 2019
    Candi ·
    View Quoted Comment

    His mom hasn't yet said anything or even liked her facebook announcement. I will assume she hasn't seen it yet but his mom bac all of her decisions and caters to her and her sons even though her children live with the dad who was originally just a the donor. Too complicated for words. I feel like she cant even let him have one happy thing in his life. she destroys every holiday and insist we host so she can inform us how much better she could do. I am personally feeling unable to continue the relationship.

  • 💗
    Dedicated April 2019
    💗💗 ·
    Don’t change your plans for her third wedding . People probably won’t go to her anyways . Even if they do, you could always have your during a different time (maybe before hers or after ) or just don’t worry about who doesn’t come
  • Courtney
    Super December 2018
    Courtney ·
    View Quoted Comment

    "I am personally feeling unable to continue the relationship."

    You don't have to. That's the thing that is sometimes so hard to wrap your mind around. You owe them nothing. He owes them nothing.

    No one says that just because someone decided to have kids that those kids are on the hook for pleasing and caring for that person forever.

    "she cant even let him have one happy thing in his life."

    So maybe it's your job to step up and say enough. Unfortunately sometimes habits that we learn in childhood (making sure that your parents are happy with you) are very hard to break, especially with demanding parents that will flip the script and make it about how YOU are hurting THEM by standing up for yourself.

    If someone were treating my husband this way, I would let him know that I see it, that I am on his side and that there is no reason to continue toxic relationships. It may take some time for him to come around, but he will start seeing it too.

    .

    If you want to take a more active role in protecting him from her, prepare statements for comments that you know are coming.

    HER: "I don't like this Christmas dinner, I would have done ..."

    YOU: "Oh good!! We're planning on being away next holiday so that means you'll be able to. I like that you're planning now!"

    (Just make sure to maintain that you won't be there and do not attend)

    -------

    HER: "This house is a mess, if I were you I would clean it up."

    YOU: "FH and I were so busy XYZing that we just didn't have time to take out the toothbrush and scrub the corners! If you'd like to chip in for a cleaning service, we're all for it!"

    HER: "I'll come in and clean for you."

    YOU: "Oh we would never allow that, we wouldn't want you to have to handle it. A service is fine and professional so they have insurance in case things break."

    -------

    HER: "I can't believe that you keep a dog/cat/bird/chimpanzee in the house! How dirty!"

    YOU: "Goodness, we don't want you to be uncomfortable! Since BooBoo lives here, I'll get your coat so you can head home. Next time we can just meet at a restaurant."

  • Amanda
    Super January 2020
    Amanda ·
    So sorry to hear you're dealing with this frustration! I would ignore all of it as it may be to get a reaction of spite. Kill them with kindness!

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