Is this wrong of me? I don't want to give his parents a gift!

When they have done damn near nothing to help us out. Is that wrong of me? What would you all do?

I would do a very small gift. I think something is appropriate. But, I would have on the card "for your emotional support" or something.

Give them a framed wedding photo. Done.

Mrs. B that is a great Idea I'm falling it the same situation and I've been going back and fourth on what to get them.

@kiera lol

I agree something small. And maybe give all parents their gifts at the same time. And when they see what you did for your parents, maybe they'll get it.

Sounds like a good compromise. Thanks ladies!

LoL- I have been keeping up on it! I just can't bring myself to post a comment because I know i'll sound like a greedy little beyotch..lol...

Are you upset bc they CHOSE not to give u guys money or bc financially its just not in their budget.. im kind of on the other end of this..having my FH parents both offering a gift to pay for their side of the families catering, alcohol and for decorations.. my parents whom i love dearly and i know would die for me, jus dont have that extra cash (im more than capable of paying for my wedding- no issue) and i would never expect them to pay for things even if FH sides went above and beyond... my parents support me without it being monetary, and they will still be receiving an equal gift for that

What about a $30 gift card to a local restaurant!

I am with you too !!! my mom is paying for the dress, grandma gave me 5k and fh parents gave us 10k. my dad said he '' will do what he can'' which i have come to the realization that it will not be anything so when i give parents gifts if my dad doesnt pitch in i have nothing to thank him for. i posted something about it a while back saying if my dad didnt pitch in i want my step dad to walk me but i got mixed answers, i was also told i am a adult and if i want to get married i need to pay for the wedding and they dont owe me anything, which i understand to a extent. I say something small to thank them for sharing your special day and it was nice that they could be there to suppport your marriage... hope that helps.

I am still in the beginning phase of wedding planning, and I may be naive, but the gift to the family isn't a thank you for helping with the wedding, it is a thank you for raising me/FS. I will probably ask FS to choose for his parents and I will choose for mine, and then do a frame for both. Sorry if I still sound naive!

I am kind of with Shay on this, are they holding back because they are not financially well off or something, b/c FS and I are paying for everything mainly because neither of our parents can really afford to help us out, but I'm still going to give them a small gift seeing as I don't/wont have much money left after the wedding. However if they just have money but just don't want to give it up maybe there is a reason that you don't know about. In any case I guess I would still give them a gift the framed picture sound just right.

I am with Future KH. I assume my wedding is my responsibility. It was thier responsibility to raise me or my FH. Lucky for my my parents did a much better job then his parents, but neither are helping with the wedding much. Neither parents have much money but my parents are trying to at least be involved. His mom is more the thats nice tell me when to show up type, but I talked her into helping me make a black cake - we started soaking the fruit a couple weeks ago.

So we are going to give my parents, his mom and the person who helped make him who is nice presents. I have always thought I should be my job to give his people thier presents and vice versa because they created this fantastic person who I love and can't imagine my life without. So I am thankful for that - even if they don't help with the wedding at all. But thats just kinda how I look at it.

I think this is one of those things thats based on specific situations and whether or not youre even someone who believes in gifting ur parents at your wedding..to each his own... I would suggest to let your FH choose a gift that he sees fit for his parents and you choose what you see fit for yours... Thats what FH and I will be doing, and as Future KH stated, mine will be for everything theyve done for me and everything they will do for me in the future, not bc they did or did not help pay for my wedding.

FMIL purchased the FG (her grand daughter) dress. I asked FG father to send me a pic of her in it so I know what I'm working with and it never came. I asked for family (not a damn one of them RSVP by mail and one did it through e-mail) addresses and my wonderful FSIL came through but no one else. I know FMIL didn't have the money to offer and thats fine...its not her day but she barely looked at my ring when I showed it to her, I doubt she even has my telephone number...thats how she is so she'll get something but I totally get your point.

Well don't forget that they did kinda bring your fh into this world and raise him to be the man he is now. A think some kinda gift is appropriate.

Hmm well the thing is that there are different financial situations that may be present. a 'thank you' gift does not have to be to thank someone for money. i'm not saying you have to go all out, but i would def get them something nice. even if its to thank them for their love and support

FH and I have paid for everything ourselves-not easy to do when you have 3 little ones.....

I think some people just either don't think about it the way you do or they might not have the money.

I would get them something.

I won't have any in-laws since FHs mother and brother passed away and his father is a drunk who isn't in the picture.

My in laws didn't help out either except for $50 for the deposit for the Dj. They were suppose to pay the full amount for the Dj but didnt. I still got them a thank you it was an incests jar nothing big. For my parents i got them an album of our engagement photos then again my parents paid for almost every thing. I wish I never gave my in laws anything after I found out what they were saying about me at my wedding from my hubby and other wedding guest.

Without reading all the responses I will say that yes it is definitely in their means to help us out. When we first started planning they told us they would give us 5-6K to help out and then turned around when we went to book the venue and decided they weren't going to help us. I had a HUGE breakdown because it was my dream venue and without their help it was not within our budget. They have offered no help financially or emotionally to either the wedding or our lives and they know that we are struggling. In fact when we were house hunting his dad was trying to talk him out of marrying me. So that is the gist of the reason(s) why I don't find it necessary to give them some extravegent gift. I think a nice picture frame with a photo of us from the wedding is a good idea though. Ok going to finish reading now...lol