Is this wrong of me? I don't want to give his parents a gift!

As far as them raising him and all that..Yeah ummm they may have given him life but that's pretty much it. He's worked his entire life to support himself and buy whatever he needs. If it wasn't for the fact that his father is so old school his parents wouldn't even be together right now. He got his mom pregnant when he was 18 and she was 20 so they got married because it was the "right" thing to do. So sometimes I think they hold that against him.

Well I think you said it all J.J. His father tried to talk him out of marrying you so therefore one can reasonably conclude that he is not in favor of the marriage. If that is the case, then it is of no surprise that he would not provide financial support, much less emotional support for a union he does not want to see happen. I know I wouldn't spend my hard earned money on something I don't approve of. So rt or wrng on his part it makes sense. As for them knowing you are struggling, again same principal. It's unfortunate when you marry into a family when the situation with the in-laws is less than amicable. As for their gift the basis of your original post. Apply the same principal. Why would you spend your hard earned money on someone who does not approve of your pending union? Civility goes a long way. I agree with PPs, an engraved picture frame is the perfect solution. A token jesture of good faith and keep it pushin'!

I haven't read all the posts, but they raised your FH. The gift at the wedding isn't about what they gave you for the wedding, but the fact they are your (his) parents.

All said and done, you will have to deal with these people the rest of your lives, get them a gift and be done with it. However, for the sake of peace in the future, don't get your parents a huge public gift and make it obvious that theirs isn't as big. Be the bigger person, and look at the bigger picture..which is the rest of their lives you will have to deal with them.

I understand your sentiment.....I'm in a similar boat. My side of the family has been nothing but a pain. Not only is there no support, it's all about "them". There have been numerous fight about where are THEY going to stay. How are THEY going to get there, etc. They whined about how much it cost to go to my wedding (my parents have to fly out here. They whined about how we didn't have it in their hometown (yeah, and make the other 24 guests fly there to suit 2 people.) My sister told me that I "ruined her winter because now she can't go travelling". Gee, thanks. They whined about a hotel room, but they stated they wanted a "real bed" in a "real bedroom". So guess what? My entire family each gets a bedroom in my house, and my FH and I are setting up a bed in our unfinished basement for ourselves! So, honey, no, noone is getting a gift form me. Thanks, but no thanks.