Is ok to propose without a ring??

@michelle...I agree with Ianthe....I'd have to wonder why he wants to propose so badly and can't wait to save a little cash. There are very inexpensive rings out there...I wouldn't mind having a less expensive ring..I know not all couples start with the best financial situation..many couples wait for a vow renewal or something like that to get a nicer ring. I have to admit though..my FS didn't pay for my ring. My ring is an heirloom. His mother who is passed wore it..also his grandmother and greatgrandmother. It's still as meaninful to me though because FS adored his mother and I know he wasn't going to give his mother's ring to just any girl.

You guys have awesome opinions that are swaying me but i think at the end of the day to me in my opinion the ring is a small part of the proposal

I didn't get my e-ring until my 1st year wedding anniversary. Hubby actually proposed to me in the middle of an argument and totally out of the blue so there was no ring there for me. I didn't really mind because we knew what we wanted and he could save the money for it and I ended up getting a mystic topaz promise ring to wear until the real e-ring came in.

Brian, that's a good point. However, I'm not cool with the financing thing. (Have a feeling you're not as well.) The other parts to planning are sneakily finding out what I like, without giving yourself away . . . figuring out my size without me knowing it (my fh traced the rings in my jewlery box and hit the nail on the head.), looking into diamonds that aren't blood diamonds bc he knows it's important to me (mine came from Alaska), researching metals to find out which will hold up the best (he went with palladium bc he knows I don't like yellow gold and found out through research that white gold can turn yellow and needs to be dipped.), planning how he was going to propose etc. I really appreciate all of those little nuances that go into it.

@diana awww thats nice...i truly believe that the engagement ring is now more for others instead of the relationship

@ianthe thats awesome

@Ianthe- that's a special man.

@ianthe if he didnt have a ring would you have said yes

For a long time I just wanted to use the ring that my great-grandmother wore. He really wanted to buy me his own ring and once he explained what it would mean to him, I was cool with it too. I think there is a whole lot of meaning behind the family ring too. :o)

Side note, I really like hearing the opinions for not having one. Helps me understand from a different perspective.

So, my FH's initial proposal was with a wedding planning book. We'd been talking about getting married for a while, but he wanted me to pick out my perfect ring. He didn't however, want to come to me empty handed, so he bought this really nice planning book and proposed with that. Even though it wasn't a ring, I could tell that he really put effort into it. He knows that I love crafty things and I really love planning (I'm an organizer at heart lol!) and he got this amazing DIY wedding book. It meant so much to me, that I still consider that our proposal. After I had picked out a ring, he bought it and proposed for real about two months later, but that first proposal will always be special to me.

I think, after having someone ask without one, even if I would have said yest it wouldn't have felt official to me. To my FH, I would have said yes, no matter what. But he's my fh for a reason, because he gets me. And he got how much a nice proposal (grandmas ring or his) mean to me.

Bright Eyes! That's such as sweet story! I like that the proposal says, "I really get you. I get what you want and what you're passionate about."

Thanks, Ianthe. It really made it all the more special! It was one of those moments where I thought: "Wow...he really gets me!!" Which of course only made my 'YES!' all the more resounding!! LOL.

@ianthe i get it your point of view loud & clear

@ brighteyes That is so sweet

I will say this i have been proposed to both ways & they both were equally amazing

So, from this discussion, it seems the most important part of the proposal is not weather or not he gets you a ring or how much it costs/ how nice it is . . . just that, however it's done, it's done in a way that screams, "I get you!" :o)

@Brighteyes..that is SO cute! I'd say yes to a wedding planning book for sure.

@ianthe EXACTLY everyone of us want the same thing & thats to be understood & for the proposal to be genuine & from the heart

Honestly, I have a big issue with the whole engagement ring concept. For one thing, it strikes me as sexist. The woman is not supposed to do the proposing, but to wait patiently until the man is ready. The woman doesn't have to save up for anything to be engaged, but can just wait to be given a ring, while the man isn't supposed to get engaged until he has saved up for a big diamond. The woman is expected to wear a ring showing she is "taken" as soon as she is engaged, while the man doesn't wear a ring until he is married. The woman's ring is so much more valuable than the man's that it contributes to the woman's fear of walking around at night, in certain areas, etc. And of course, engaged women compare rings, which contributes to a sense that his love can be measured by how expensive the ring was.

(cont.)

Plus, as a practical matter, about half of all women don't like the engagement ring the man gives them. But in many instances, they don't want to hurt his feelings by saying so, so they go on wearing a ring they don't like for the rest of their lives.

When I proposed to my wife, it was really a surprise to her. Because it was only a few days after we could first legally get married anywhere, she and I had not really talked about marriage, although we knew we wanted to be together for life.

When I proposed, I asked her whether she wanted an engagement ring. She said she didn't. Since I didn't want one, either, we were both happy with not having them. Our friends knew we were engaged, and neither of us felt the need to prove it to anyone else.

When we got married, she gave me a plain gold band she had inherited from her grandmother. I managed to find a matching one (same country of origin, same time period, same 22 karat gold, very similar in appearance) to give her.

2d bride VERY interesting point of view...have you always known you wouldnt want an engagement ring & if she had proposed to YOU with an engagement ring how would you have handled it