Is my mom indirectly calling me fat or am I overreacting?

I had a hard time shopping for a dress with my mom. the salesgirl and I talked about it, and she said to remember that your mom has been imagining this day just as long, if not longer, than you have. she has an idea in her head of what she would like you to look like on your day, and may just be trying to express that to you. I bet she is just trying to draw special attention to you on your day, instead of making it the same as everyone else's wedding.

try not to let it get you down. when she brings it up again, just smile, and say, "thanks for the suggestion. I'll think about it."

when you finally do pick your dress, she will love it no matter what it looks like, because its yours and she'll see how happy you are. until then, just take a deep breath and remember, it's your day! do what makes YOU happy!

Unless your mom got married very recently, strapless dresses probably weren'tbin style. She may not have embraced the strapless trend yet. Maybe to her a strapless dress just doesn't look like what she thinks a wedding dress should look like. Maybe she'd like to see her daughter wear something more conservative. I don't know, but I wouldn't take it personally.

I'm sure your mom is not calling you fat. She's probably just tired of seeing all the strapless dresses that everyone has (nothing wrong with that, mine is strapless too!) and wants you to have something original.

You need to become more secure in yourself. You'll look beautiful in any gown you'll find.

I don't think she is calling you fat at all. she just wants you to have a classic, and beautiful dress.

I know alot of girls are all about getting the dress that is season but think about how you are gonna precive yourself twenty years from now when you look at your wedding picture. I think that's all she's trying to do.

Good luck. It's your day, and it should be the dress that makes you feel beautiful

I dont think she is.... try it ON for her.. ya never know you might like it.. and then again you can relly dislike it and say how uncomfortable it is etc....

Of course your mom is going to like something a little different. She is from a different generation and may think certain things look better but its your dress so whatever you chose you will look great in

Maybe she's just thinking of Kate's dress with sleeves that was very pretty and different and that you deserve the dress of a princess

And I agree with the others, that strapless likely wasn't in style when she got married so perhaps she's just uncomfortable with it. You will find one you BOTH love I'm sure!!

Thanks so much for everyone's positive comments! I had a feeling I was being oversensitive. I haven't even tried on any dresses yet because I want to wait until I'm at a weight that I'm comfortable with. I definitely will try on a dress with sleeves for my mom. I'm not totally opposed to having one but I was leaning more toward the strapless. I think a couple people made the point about it being a generational thing with my mom wanting sleeves and I think that has a lot to do with it. She got married in 1985 and her dress had very pretty lace sleeves so I guess she wants me to have the same. It's just hard because my mom and I are super close and I really want to make her happy while at the same time also making myself happy and getting what I'd like. Never knew there was so much mama drama involved in getting married! :-P

Didn't Princess Kate wear sleeves? I bet she totally has that dress in mind. She just wants you to look like a princess

I think your mon just like the dress with sleeve ~

Maybe she is old school and just likes the look. Maybe you could ask her honestly, "when I get to my goal weight, do you think this style will look good on me?" And show her a sleeveless dress. Your lucky if that's the case mom got my gym membership and said don't try anything on until you get there lol. But that's my mom, I know she is blunt but I love her lol. And she just helps me hit my goal.

Moms say the darndest things, lol. She probably just likes the style. From your pic, you don't look remotely fat! Get whatever you like. I got a v-neck, rebel that I am, lol.

Well, your mother may be about the same age I am. (I'm 57.) And back when I got married for the first time (in 1977), strapless dresses were still thought of as a bit tarty. I suspect that your mother is not responding specifically to your weight, but just to the whole idea of strapless dresses.

For reference, below is a picture of me in my wedding dress at my first wedding. I was married in June, and still had full-length sleeves and a high neckline.

I don't think she is calling you fat. Keep in mind, sometimes adding sleeves draws attention to your arms/shoulders, which is counter-productive if you are a bigger bride. So if that is the issue, covering it up is not always the answer =)

I agree that she is most likely not calling you fat, but keep in mind she may have a point if you plan on getting married by a conservative pastor. Some catholic churches require shoulders to be covered.

I think you are overreacting. She's older and from a different time when wedding dresses covered you from neck to toe. She's probably just letting you know she likes sleeves over strapless. Maybe take her out and try on a few dresses with sleeves. They are popping up all over the place because of Kate.

No, I don't think she's calling you fat either.

I think she is calling you fat, either. As an older woman who is simply tired of seeing almost every bride in a strapless dress, it's refreshing to see a bride stand out in a dress that has sleeves or off the shoulder or a tank style. I'm not so "old school" that strapless offends, I just see it as being overdone. But that's me. And being married in August, you will want a gown that is cool and comfortable!

I'm certain your mother will love whatever gown you pick, because you will be wearing it!

I agree with all those above, and I'd also like to add that if your mom is anything like mine, she always wants me to fully covered for modesty's sake. Because of her generation, she's probably just more conservative

I agree with the other, I don't think she's calling you fat, she might be more conservative, my FMIL maid a similar comment to me when she had a glimpse of my dress by saying if that's what I like and that she prefered the ones with the sleeves, I told her no, that's what I like that's how it will stay.

But lately she has been calling me fat indirectly, everytime she sees me, she makes this comment "are you sure you're gonna fit in your dress in december?, are you going to lose some weight?" etc... FH and I laugh it off each time but sometimes it doesn't feel that funny to me.