Is it selfish of me to actually want a bridal shower?

No you deserve it!

I honestly feel that my last two children should have had their own celebration as my first child did. Which is why this is upsetting to me.

I am having one go for it girl

Who doesn't want to throw you one? No one?? Man, wait till karma finds out when their birthdays are. Girl, throw yourself a coed shower/engagement party. Call it whatever you want, throw some burgers and dogs on the grill, crack open a few beers (and Rieslings as another post enlightened me about) and have at it.

I can't exactly plan my own bridal shower though.

I'm just sad and needed to vent. (

It's certainly not selfish to WANT a shower, that's for sure. Why are other people telling you that you don't "need" a shower? If it's a money issue for anyone, you can have something like a recipe shower, where people share their recipes and maybe make the dish to try.

It's not very nice for anyone to rain on your parade because you have children or may not "need" anything.

@Out the Window I don't have a bridal party. It is my mom and FMIL who decided I didn't need one because we own a house. (because apparently we have everything in the world)

It's really just the party I want. Hey, if I get some gifts, that's cool.

But no. Nobody sees it from my point of view ever!

Baby showers are a little different. I don't think baby showers for your 2nd or 3rd should be as big as your first, but you could have still thrown a little welcome to the world party for them. I don't think a registry is quite necessary for the 2nd and third since you may already have certain items like a crib and a pack and play, but if you had a party, no one (respectfully) would come empty handed.

I'm sorry no one wants to throw you a bridal shower. In response to your question, no, I don't think that's selfish... but I agree. You can't really throw your own party.

I always thought the baby shower was to celebrate/honor the new mom-to-be, and the new baby gets celebrated as well. However, it's very uncommon where I am from for there to a babyshower for any 2nd or 3rd children so maybe try not to dwell on that. Do you know a lot of people who've had showers for 2nd or 3rd child?

@Just Reenski It really isn't a money issue at all. My in laws have PLENTY of money. They just feel it intrudes on their daughters graduation party. Which I get. So I'm not throwing a huge stink over it. Shes graduating from college and moving. So they are having a party. Too much planning I guess.

I'm not really sure why they couldn't plan it together. But that is their choice and not much I can do about it.

I don't have any friends. They kind of disappear after you have kids.

Yes, a lot of the girls from here have had second showers. With gifts and all. I wasn't even asking that. I really didn't voice what I wanted at all. I felt selfish. As I do now.

So I stay quiet.

Aw im sorry you feel selfish for wanting one! you def deserve one and should not feel guilty about that at all. wish we could throw one on WW!!! altho as ive mentioned before i am not ok with virtual showers lol

What about your FH? If you tell him how you feel -- would he throw a small get together, along with your children as hosts?? Invite all your best girlfriends for a night of drinks? I don't think it is selfish at all.

That's not cool. I almost want to throw a shower for you!

We have a house. We own stuff we need. That doesn't mean there aren't things that need updating etc. Once I started looking I found plenty to register for ...

Have you or FH talked with FMIL? Maybe if she knew how important it is to you and why she would feel different? Heck, she could be the official "sponsor" and you do the planning if she is busy with the graduation party?

I would bet thatshe doesn't know how important it is to you ...

It's okay to want to a bridal shower. I'm sorry your family feels you don't need one because you have a home. That's silly.

I'm not having a shower either. I don't have many friends at all. Moving out of state and having kids will kill your social life. Lol I understand wanting to have a little party even if no gifts are involved. It's nice to feel celebrated. It's okay. You aren't selfish. It's not like you are demanding anything. *big hugs*

My FH isn't like that. He wouldn't even know how. I'm also not kidding when I say I have no friends.

Everyone thinks a baby shower is for gifts. I rarely see an adult. You will rarely see an adult once you have kids. So honestly it was for support. I felt the least supported for my second and third child. Now there is no friends, and family rarely calls. But I didn't care. I didn't complain to them.

This to me feels like they are basing my bridal shower of of my baby shower. Like I had one shower already, why should I ever have another one? Even if its for a wedding.

Maybe I'm just losing it.

Why would it be uncommon to have a baby shower for second and third babies? Especially if they are different genders then the first...You will still need boy vs. girl themed stuff or whatever.

Anyway, I think you should definitely have a bridal shower!

So first off, I dont know what you are more upset over, the baby showers or bridal showers. in my area it is frowned upon for people to have showers for any kids after the first. You're on your own at that point. I think if you want a shower, speak up and say, this isnt for gifts, its for the celebration- suggest a recipe or wine party, where everyone brings a bottle. And tell them that owning a house does NOT equate not needing a party to honor your wedding. But you are saying you have no friends or family, who are planning on attending? I think in this case if you arent asking for gifts, you can throw yourself a "shower" and have people over or go out for dinner instead!

I feel your pain. We have 3 kids and a house too. We are paying for our own wedding. I would love to have a shower but no one offered to throw us one I feel like if I were a bridesmaid or moh I would be excited to throw one, so it's almost like, so I don't deserve one? hopefully someone will change their minds and we will both get a shower ! Good luk to u!

I understand the one baby shower...that makes sense but I do believe you should have a bridal shower. that kind of stinks.