Is it rude to split a couple at a wedding?

So my FH was in his friends wedding this past April . . I had to sit alone until dinner .. I survived and I have anxiety .. I would have been super uncomfortable if they had a head table

Your thinking too much about it! There isn't always a way to incorporate or consider the SO of those in the wedding party. The time apart will.be minimal. Just dinner and toast. Chill have fun and relax. I'm sure people will not be glued to there seats the entire time.

I'm not having a head table but I don't think it's rude to have one. It happens when one of the members of the couple is not in the BP. Do you sit through dinner and speeches ... chat with the people at your table and then hang out w your SO the rest of the evening. I don't see it as a big issue

Yes this is rude. They should have reserved a place for you as well at the head table. My best friend made sure to include her bridal party's' significant others at the head table. It only makes sense that they would sit together since they are coming together as a couple! I would be annoyed as well. That doesn't sound like a friend at all. Hopefully the dinner and speeches are quick so you aren't left sitting alone all night.

OP I don’t understand your update.

Who here isn’t understanding the “context” of your post?

I think it's rude and we are doing a sweetheart table for this reason. However, I've been a bridemaid and have been split up from my date before and just kinda grinned and beared it. I believe in properly hosting and think that sitting people with their dates is the way to go, but a lot of people do choose to do head tables and separate. Just need to kind of deal with it unfortunately.

So I'll start by saying that I did actually read the post before commenting. We have people in our bridal party that have SOs that will also be at the wedding. It is completely up to them if they want to make a head table with everyone included. We are not. At our head table will be us and the bridal party. The SOs will have seats during the dinner that are not the head table. I don't feel this is rude.

@Op - Are you upset that you weren't invited to be in the BP and your SO didn't say something?

I think it is ride to split couples (I have been the one split but did not know that would be the case); that being said, if you know you are going to be split you always have the option of declining the invitation.

@Terri, 2 years ago when FH and I started dating I went with him to his cousins wedding. I didn't know anyone but his parents. We had to sit at separate tables and at one point I ended up in tears in the bathroom. I was so embarrassed with myself that I would feel that way and 'couldn't handle an hour on my own.' I've thought back on that time over the past few years and finally determined that it was not being away from my SO that was so hard. It was not knowing anyone and being uncomfortable. Social anxiety is a real thing. It presents itself differently for different people.

I remember the day in which the dais was filled with "couples" who barely knew each other. It was a part of my wedding, and every wedding I attended prior to the 2000's. It was what it was -- not ideal, but the standard. However, every effort was made to sit the single partner with friends, and after dinner it was a free for all anyway.

I love the evolution that has led to the sweetheart table. Not only is it beautiful, but it solves that awkward problem of splitting up couples, which, I have to admit, sucks. Could I deal with it? Yes, I did. Several times. It lasted through the spotlight stuff and dinner, and then we reconnected for the balance of the evening (or I was an honor attendant and he wasn't -- it worked both ways).

My biggest issue with the OP's post is that her SO is being asked to act as a friendor. That might be a deal breaker for me. I don't want to sit alone for four hours while he plays MC. Cheap couple/rude couple. Let them pay for an MC if they want one so damn badly. He should tell them that he's had time to consider the responsibility and must respectfully decline (it's a massive responsibility).

Yes, OP, they have crossed the line. Rude, rude, rude. I'd decline the invitation if he's going to work their wedding for the entirety of the night. Without apology.

I think it's generally rude to split a couple, yes. If that's the couples choice to have a head table where no one else's spouses are included either, I think that's their decision and against popular opinion, I don't think that's the biggest wedding tragedy there ever was. Keeping that in mind, I myself would also be a little annoyed sitting away from my FH. I don't get what you're saying about the context? Like are you saying because he is in the wedding and you are not you feel slighted? Because if so, I don't think not being included in the BP is a reason to be mad.

@elizabeth--- YES! Was just about to say the same thing. It's rude to only invite half of a couple but it's perfectly fine to invite a couple and separate them for dinner?

Also, someone mentioned they sat with their SO's parents and it wasn't a problem.. if it were me I'd be okay with that too, although it's not ideal. It just doesn't seem like that's the situation for the OP

Ninety-five percent of the time, I'm in Elizabeth's corner. She's smart, a professional, and when she talks about social anxiety, she's not shooting from the hip. I'd defer to her on this topic.

@colleen, it didn't make you feel bad that your bridesmaid had to leave her date home because you were making him sit apart from her?

@allie, you don't feel it is rude because you are doing it but hey, do you wanna have your husband sit at the head table and you sit elsewhere? I know it's your wedding, but since it is ok to split couples up, I assume you don't mind sitting apart from him?

I was originally going to have the wedding party at the head table but since I came across this post I am actually considering doing just a sweetheart table. I want everyone to be comfortable.

I've even in plenty of weddings where my husband was not. I sat at the head table while he did not. He did, however, know my family, so he sat with them in front of the head table. I do think that he should have talked to you about this. I feel bad for you. People are going to think you're single and ask how you know the bride and groom...awkward. I probably would have put him at your table, or done a sweetheart table. No need to have the entire wedding party at the same table. Can speak and do a speech from any table. It's not like you can go to them and dictate how to run the wedding. I'd be hurt too. Why your SO and not you?

It sounds more maybe like you're upset that the couple perhaps considers FH a better friend than you, rather than a head table debate. Your feelings are hurt. Did you talk about with FH?

@Laprisha, that is awesome.

It's rude. I've had a similar situation happen before and honestly it sucks. I plan to do a sweetheart table at my wedding so that this doesn't happen to others.