Is it rude to split a couple at a wedding?

Yeah, it's rude.

The only issue I see here is splitting you up for dinner. That is rude.

I understand that you might have hurt feelings because you were friends with them first and introduced them to your SO but there’s not actually anything wrong with not asking you to be in the wedding party also. They just might feel a stronger connection to your SO for whatever reason. You should absolutely be able to sit with your SO at dinner though.

I don't think it's rude, and yes you are overreacting. At almost every wedding I've attended the bridal party sits at the head table.

Despite what you will read here, there is nothing inherently rude etiquette-wise in having a head table, and limiting it to the VIP's. Yes, it's nice if everyone gets to sit with their SO, but we are all adults and should be able to get through a meal on our own. Often when a couple choose this option for a head table, they seat all the SO's at a table together.

Yes it is rude. You are not overreacting. They should not sit you apart from your SO.

Yes, head tables are rude. You're not overreacting, I'd be pissed as well.

ETA: found the people who are having head tables...

ETA again: ok so maybe they didn't have head tables themselves, but are ok with them for some reason.

It is not rude that they didn't ask you to be part of the wedding party. Even though the 4 of you are friends, they have no obligation to ask you to be in the wedding party along with your SO. I definitely understand why your feelings are hurt though.

As far as dinner, unfortunately many couples still do the old style head table with wedding party only. I do think that style is inconsiderate of the WP and their SOs.

@MrsMcK actually, no. At my wedding we had only a MOH and Best Man, and we sat their families at the head table with us as well instead of splitting them. That doesn't mean I think what I did is the only acceptable way to do it.

We are having just the bridal party at the head table, but I am also inviting at least one other person everyone's significant others know. That way they are not alone.

@stephanie Ok, that's great that you didn't split people up!

But I disagree that a regular head table is acceptable, it's sort of an old fashioned thing that is now rude by today's standards. I have pretty bad anxiety; if I was supposed to sit with a bunch of strangers at a wedding, I would probably just stay home, rather than have a panic attack.

@MrsMcK- not true, and very dismissive of others' opinions and knowledge.

It's dismissive to say that it's rude to split up couples? I don't see it, but ok. Also, notice I'm not the only one agreeing that it's rude...

I'm with PPs, I don't think splitting up people for a meal is the worst thing you can do, especially if the SOs are sitting with people they know. My BP expected to site at the head table, and that's what FH and I wanted to do too, so that's what we're doing. After dinner, it doesn't matter to me who sits there or doesn't, but that's where people will be seated for the meal

It sucks, this happened to me at a wedding recently. I didn't know anybody but FH tried his best to share his time between me and the couple. I'm sorry just try to mingle.

I recommend against this at my venue. It's rude and uncomfortable for the SO's who don't really know anyone else at the dinner table. What I recommend is a sweetheart table. estate style seating or a king table with BP and SO's.

Super rude I personally feel. And may cause tension. I would talk to them about how you feel. I would feel hurt and uncomfortable. It sounds so selfish. You're not overreacting.

@MrsMcK- This is the part that is dismissive "found the people who are having head tables... "

and you obviously knew that given that you edited it.

Super rude that they expect you to eat dinner at a table of strangers. F that.

It's very inconsiderate to split up SO's. I hate head tables, there should be a sweetheart table or a kings table where BP and their spouses all sit together. even if you "just" need to get through dinner, then what? People are going to be trying to move tables and seats around so they can try and sit with their partners? It's not like the seat assignments suddenly change after dinner, you still risk the likely chance that someone will be taking someone else's seat to sit with their partner, leaving someone else seatless, etc. It's just awkward and unnecessary and rude.

Lol no, I did not know that. Again, don't know why you're focused on me when multiple people are agreeing it's rude.