Is it rude to split a couple at a wedding?

It is rude to split you up during dinner, but I don't think saying something will help. Either attend or don't. Make friends with the other SOs or don't. One of the groomswomen specifically asked us to sit her bf with people he know. So we put her there as well as another family member they know and his wife similar ages and then a distant cousin of hers that knew no one else at the wedding except her and the groom's mother. She was PISSED. But we followed her specific rude instructions so we did not care. We did not have a head table and everyone in the WP sat with their SOs for dinner. She would have been better off keeping her mouth shut but decided she would try to get herself a seat at the parents tables instead.

I'm old enough to remember when SO's sat at a different table when not in the BP. I have been on both sides and it never crossed my mind not once or hurt my feelings to not sit with my SO when he was in the BP. And to be so hurt that you would even consider not accompanying your SO? To each his own but that's not the best idea.

Does anyone have rationale for a head table?

You spent all morning getting ready with the BP, you had the ceremony with them standing with you, you had pictures taken with the BP, why do they have to sit with you, abandoning their SOs, to watch you two eat? Or is it considered some sort of "honor" to sit near a newly married couple while they eat?

Just curious.

Rude AF!

I find to be pretty rude. We're going to a wedding in a couple weeks and FH is a GM and I'm fairly certain they'll have head table (every wedding I've ever been to has had one). I'm just glad his parents will also be there since I don't know anybody else at the wedding expect for the couple getting married and the groom's little sister. It gives me a lot of anxiety, which is why we'll be having a sweetheart's table and not separating people.

This is exactly why we are doing a sweetheart table instead of a head table

It's not rude , if he's part of the wedding he should sit with the wedding party . You'll be at a wedding with plenty of people, mingle and make some new friends.

Unfortunately it's not ideal for SO's who don't know others at a wedding, but it's not really uncommon. A lot of people think it's inconsiderate in today's time, but there are a lot of people that still believe in old traditions. But it's really only for the dinner and the entire night will not be spent sitting at those tables. People will get up and mingle and so will you with your SO after eating and tastes have been finished. You can either go and support your friends or stay home, but your SO shouldn't have to decide between being there for his friends on the most important day of their lives and making sure your comfortable with someone else's set up.

Best to keep couples together.

It's definitely rude

"If you go into this having a bad attitude and thinking the couple and your FH are bring hurtful then youll probably have a shitty time."

The bride and groom are the ones with the bad attitude, treating their wedding party like props for their photos. Let's face it, that's the only reason for a head table anyway. As bride and groom, you get to have your first married meal together and you choose to have your wedding party with you. At most, the bride will talk to the person next to her (MOH, most likely) and the groom will talk to the one beside him (BM, most likely) when not speaking to each other. So there is no practical purpose to having the rest of the wedding party there, except for photos. Oh, and for the bride and groom's comfort since the most common excuse is "we don't like being on display." This excuse is just as rude since you're not really caring about your guests who don't like sitting with strangers without their date.

Honestly I'd feel too awkward to go. I'd probably bring it up to my s.o. not that that'd change anything. That's just my personality though.

@Elizabeth That's exactly what I was thinking. Head tables seem like a photo op and less of a concern about the guests' experience.

I'm just finding it difficult to fathom that the ability to be social and get to know complete strangers on WW could not be duplicated in getting to know complete strangers for what all total would be less than an hour at a wedding. It's perplexing.

Terri, please read what Sarah said and reflect on it, even if it doesn't pertain to you. Social anxiety is a real thing.

Anyway, if we're going to tell couples it's rude to invite someone to their wedding without their significant other because you can't tell people to come celebrate your union when you don't respect yours, then the same should apply here. It's rude to ask your guests to come sit with you while you have dinner with your spouse while you're forcing them to be separated from their own.

@Terri It's perplexing that a couple would purposefully make their guests feel awkward and out of place. True, I could make irritatingly benign small talk with total strangers. It would be an okay, tolerable dinner.

For me, personally, I wanted to make my wedding exciting and enjoyable. Tolerable was not the adjective for which I wanted my guests to describe my reception.

Terri, you're just missing the point. It is rude AF to have a head table.

Maybe a UO but I really wouldn't care if my DH was in a wedding party and was sat separately from me for dinner. It's maybe 45 min of your time. You can hang out with him for the rest of the wedding.

@Elizabeth - Social anxiety is absolutely a real thing and I would genuinely hope that anyone in a similar situation would be in a relationship with someone who is aware of their condition and would subsequently decline an invitation to be a part of the BP in order for their SOS to be comfortable.

@Sarah M - exactly!!

@Terri - I'm finding it difficult to fathom that you've apparently never heard of anxiety.

ETA: posted before your last comment. However, the bottom line is that a head table separating SO's is rude.