Is it okay to not have an open bar?

My fw wants to do a keg, but they are UGLY and I want to find a way to "hide" or "decorate" them and still be usable without going "Rustic" theme.

I wanted to have free beer and wine, and also have a signature drink, but my fiances Parents are dead set on paying for an open bar because they feel since your guests can be traveling quite far, spending money on gas, hotel, and possibly something to wear, that you should provide them with whatever drinks they want. It is very disappointing to go to a wedding and have a cash bar...

Please don't have a cash bar. Please give them SOMETHING whether it is beer/wine/signature drink, beer/wine or even just wine on the table (my least preferred but something is better than nothing).

As a host, it is not ok to expect guests to open their wallet for anything, including beverages. As others have said, something being common does not mean it is appropriate. But, no one has ever said that your need to host a FULL open bar costing thousands of dollars. Beer and wine, and perhaps a signature cocktail if you can budget it, is perfectly fine. Guests should be happy with what is provided.

Also, I have been to tons of weddings in Canada (Ontario mostly) and have never seen a cash bar. You cannot generalize an entire country Mandigurl.

And if every wedding you've been to has been a cash bar, wouldn't you WANT to wow your guests by being a great host and NOT doing the standard cash bar!? I would. They would probably think you were awesome. I would be embarrassed and feel terribly to see guests paying for something at my wedding.

You have to find out what is most common for weddings in your area. Your venue or some of your other vendors may know.

In Alberta, Canada I've never been to a wedding WITH an open bar for the whole reception. We're doing open for cocktail hour, and providing wine with dinner and the rest will be a cash bar.

Everyone has an opinion, but find out what is most accepted in your area/in your circle of family and friends.

At least have a limited bar, beer and wine or a couple of cocktails and wine. Or have a open bar for the cocktail and then just serve wine for the reception. I never understood inviting someone to an event and making them pay for something. When they have probably already spent a couple of hundred to come. You're the host, so host.

For the record Emily, I did not say in all of Canada, I said in Nova Scotia. Please read before you speaking.

Second, I will be providing wine during the dinner. You want anything over and above that, yes you pay. I have NEVER heard anyone in my area or group of friends complain about this.

Just because something isn't common in your area does not make it "tacky" which is the word of the day apparently.

What is tacky, is being rude to others because they do things in a different way then you do. I can't believe how rude many people are being on here. I'm all for sharing ideas and opinions and what is common in your area, but the nastiness leaves a lot to be said about the person behind the computer.

If they find it tacky, it's tacky to them. Why are you mad at someone else's opinion? IF you don't agree, oh well. Life goes on.

Just because you've never heard a complaint doesn't mean that people aren't side-eying you. And regardless of your location poorly hosted events (cash bars) are tacky. No one here is being rude.

I've never been to a wedding with an open bar, my venue doesn't even offer it.

People have STRONG opinions on this subject. This is a forum, not a support group. I have had to learn that the hard way. Even though sometimes it feels (emotionally) like your being punched in the face over and over again, you can't take it to heart.

Appropriate and tacky are subjective words. ...Just saying.

Don't feel pressured by people's harsh words. As someone else mentioned, you know your guests better than we do.

I think people use the "in my region" excuse too much. Just because the rest of the world is being a bad hostess, doesn't mean you have to be.

If I had to choose between no booze or pay for your booze I guess I would pay but wouldn't be happy about it. Weddings are boring without booze.

I have no issue with everyone having an opinion, and I don't expect everyone to agree. What I take issue with is someone saying I said something which I did not say. I was sharing my experience, like others.

I will take what you said @Angie and move forward with that in my mind.

@QueenB: Your idea of a good or bad hostess may be different from someone else's. I understand that some people have strong opinions on these things, and I also understand that no matter how strong my own opinion is, there is no right answer. Different cultures and different family dynamics absolutely play a role in what is acceptable at social events. It's not an excuse, it's a fact.

I've had that happen to me before also mandi! People don't read EXACTLY what I wrote and make a nasty comment about it! I won't lie, it pissed me off for a min! Then I realized I to take things out of context.

I'm not offended by cash (non-hosted) bars. People have different opinions as to what is meant by "cash" - if it's truly cash only, let people know in advance. I never have cash so I would hate to have to withdraw money. Is it preferred as a guest to have drinks on the house? Of course! But I would 10,000 percent rather pay for my own drinks than attend a dry wedding.

Just make sure if you're having a non-hosted bar, you don't have other lavish, frivolous stuff at your wedding and have a $10k honeymoon planned.

I'm with MizizAngi, I don't carry cash on me! I use my debit card for everything!

I don't understand why people care so much about what other people do for their weddings --- if someone can't do open bar but provides SOME drinks (along with water, tea, etc) and a cash bar, how is that being a bad host? Seriously people, relax! Stop being so snappy lol.