Is it okay to host your own Jack and Jill

Native bride - sorry but it's true. If no one offers you don't have one. It sucks maybe.... but it it what it is.

Erika that it hard - but it is life. Who knows they might surprise you

No. Both of these ideas are bad. You don't throw a party to get others to pay for your wedding, and you don't throw yourself a party to tell other people to give you gifts.

All of that is terrible etiquette.

Canadian here, lived in three provinces. Have never seen or heard of the jack and Jill fundraiser party. Please don't attribute that to Canadian tradition. Just no.

No, next time search your question.

No, if someone offers to host a Jack and Jill still decline. I'm sorry no one offered to host your shower.

Showers, bachelorette parties, birthday parties ... All optional! If no one offers to throw you one then you don't have one. Simple as that!

Not that you did this OP but I'm really tired of brides on here being whah whah whah no one threw me a shower/bach party. You are not entitled to these events. Buck up Buttercup.

I agree i should have clarified. If someone offers to host a shower fine.

If someone offers to host a jack and jill. Decline. You are not a charity you dont get to find raise for your wedding

I personally would never host a party where I would be expecting or asking for funds or gifts from my guests. It's not a fundraiser.

I highly dislike Jack n Jill parties. It's like saying "Hey we're getting married and can't afford it so come to a party that you have to pay a cover charge to get in and buy raffle tickets for items I made my bridal party purchase and we'll take all the profit to put towards the wedding ceremony and reception" while your at it just open up your presents and auction them off if you don't like them and take the cash out of the envelopes.

It's never ok for anyone to host a Jack and Jill ever.

Also Canadian. I've heard of Jack and Jill parties but it's tacky. Whether or not it's popular in your area or circle of friends, it's still tacky. You're essentially asking people to give you money so you can have a wedding. Have a wedding you can afford without asking people to help pay.

So she would just have to forgo it if no one else wants to? That really sucks....

Honestly, this type of thing should be forgotten even if someone does want to host it.

It blows my mind that the idea of this type of Jack and Jill party exists! Do people have no shame??

Recently moved 20 hours away from family, so no bridal shower here either. Don't throw yourself one and I had no idea what a Jack and Jill party was before now but I can't imagine who would want to pay to attend a party like that.

If you feel you're missing out on social action, maybe just go for a girls night out, drink wine, and talk. Or watch chick flicks.

Jack and Jill's are in and of themselves tacky as shit. For you to host one yourself would be adding to the tackiass pile. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.

I'm from Southern Ontario. I see Stag and Does (another name for these shit shows) come up all the time. I do not participate in them. a) they are expensive as a guest b) I'm usually not actually invited to the wedding c) I'm not spending my date night with FH fundraising your wedding.

Jack & Jill's are quite popular where I am (Durham Region of Ontario, Canada) My MOH is hosting ours. I have supported many couples in the past and attended their J&J's, they are a lot of fun! If you are against them, simply don't go.

This question is 7 years old at this point but I couldn't help but add my 2c in here: You're all nuts. If you need help fundraising a wedding you need to sit back and hope someone else does it for you? HELL NO. If you want it to be done, do it yourself!

Weddings are crazy expensive and anyone who calls it "tacky" to ask for help has never had the burden of trying to fund it themselves.

Throw a party, offer food and a social gathering, offer some fun yard games and some music. The idea is to try to recoup the money spent to host by selling tickets to the event. Then have additional raffle-style prizes at the event itself to try to raise funds.

Don't let these people shame you into asking for help if you need it.

This question is 7 years old at this point but I couldn't help but add my 2c in here: You're all nuts. If you need help fundraising a wedding you need to sit back and hope someone else does it for you? HELL NO. If you want it to be done, do it yourself!

Weddings are crazy expensive and anyone who calls it "tacky" to ask for help has never had the burden of trying to fund it themselves.

Throw a party, offer food and a social gathering, offer some fun yard games and some music. The idea is to try to recoup the money spent to host by selling tickets to the event. Then have additional raffle-style prizes at the event itself to try to raise funds.

Don't let these people shame you into asking for help if you need it.

As someone who got put into a position where I have to host my own bridal shower, do whatever you feel like you have to do! I know OP's parties are probably over, anyone new reading this: sometimes people really suck and let you down so the only thing you can do is step up yourself if you want something done.

That cost you the respect of your FS family.

OP and others: there are reasons why a Bride or Groom doesn't interfere with parties thrown for them. Etiquette is there for a reason, otherwise, you risk looking selfish and attention-seeking.