is it ok to register if you elope?

Oh... tough one. Hmm, I think it would be okay since you will be having a Reception for them to attend. At least, I would be okay with it if a friend of mine did something like that... though, after you elope I would ask around and see if some of the guests you're planning on inviting to the Reception would be okay with it first.

I'd be pretty put off as well. I would probably not attend a reception for a couple who eloped, then asked for gifts. Sorry, but it's the truth.

I guess I'd have to ask why you in such a rush to get married and not waiting until the time of the reception? If there is a military deployment, or some other valid reason- it's a different story.

But a wedding is something to be celebrated, and by taking away your friend's ability to celebrate with you kind of negate their reasoning for getting you a gift.

I wouldn't register. If you get a gift, great, if not, that should be ok too. Having a registry makes it seem a bit like you're only throwing a reception so that you can get gifts.

It's not uncommon to have a small or private ceremony followed by a large reception (and it's acceptable to have a reception up to a year following the actual ceremony). While you still have to rely on the usual word-of-mouth methods for letting people know about a registry, I don't see any reason not to have one. People don't have to buy a gift.

Cabell- I agree with you. But there is a difference between a private ceremony and eloping. In cases of a private ceremony- absolutely, register just as you would any other wedding. But eloping... not so much.

I don't think we know enough about the situation here to give you a fitting answer. It has alot to do with why your eloping but if you eloping just because you don't want to deal with the whole mess then no don't register because then it comes off as too much of you only wanted to get some gifts.

Meghan: I don't understand what your distinction is here between a private ceremony and an elopement. While the ceremony is the part of the event that solemnizes the marriage, and I agree that it's the most important part for the marriage/relationship, the reception is the related social event (which is why it is rude to invite people to the ceremony but not the reception). Basically, I see a reception as the main "wedding" component.

The reception is a thank you for guests ...for attending your celebration. The ones who couldn't attend the ceremony, just like a DW wedding . I don't see anything wrong with having a celebration/reception after you got married privately. I don't think you should advertise gifts, or put any registry information anywhere on invites/websites.. if someone wants to get you a gift, they will ask family members etc. for ideas.

I don't see anything wrong with it. I would just follow the same rules of etiquette and not promote or broadcast your registry but let the guests find out through your website or word of mouth. I've been to elope receptions before and brought a gift as I would any other wedding and I think it's always nice for guests to have a gift list to follow.

An elopement means you're running off and trying to hide the ceremony. Times have changed in that couples plan the secret elopement well in advance of the escape, meaning it becomes a planned private ceremony. However, the word "elope" still leaves bad feelings for a lot of people...again, because it means you didn't want anyone to know or be part of the ceremony. Either say you are having a private ceremony with a formal reception to follow, or just have the ceremony when you have the reception. Oh...and , yes, if you elope, then registering is rude. ("Hey, we ran off cuz we didn't want you around, but now we realize you are important to us financially cuz we need gifts for our house." ) I know the previous sounds harsh, but I have been at receptions for eloped couples, and even though the guests attended, they let the couples know how inconsiderate they were in eloping.

By all means register, but don't tell anybody unless they ask. Many people will bring you gifts and want to know if you are registered, and some won't.

If you eloped and didn't have a formal reception, then it would be tacky to register. I have to disagree with Beverly's comment. People nowadays elope for many different reasons, and have a formal reception after. Obviously you do want them around if you are inviting them to the reception. And I bet you are spending alot of money on the reception so people can be included in the celebration of your marriage.

I agree with the majority of posters.

I wouldn't call it "eloping" as that does make it sound like "running away" to be married, and obviously you are planning this out.

So having a private, or intimate ceremony (Or even DW!) then having a large reception sometime following, I think it's fine to register.

Just remember to spread the news by word of mouth or on your wedding website, about where you are registered.

My FH and I are getting married in Vegas...everyone says,"Oh you are eloping?" I always get confused as to what that exactly means. I feel like everyone associates "eloping" with "Vegas". For us, we are going to Vegas because we wanted to have a private ceremony with just immediate family and keep the chaos to a minimum.(as far as planning floral arrangements, rehearsal dinner etc. We do not have a bridal party) There are a total of 11 guests coming with us, and we have told other people and extended family members that they are more than welcome to come. So the door is open. We are not shutting everyone out. It is just our decision that we would prefer to get married there. We are having a reception here for family and friends who cannot attend the ceremony, and I plan on wearing my dress again etc.

Soooo getting back to your question: WE have a registry, and our mothers are also throwing me a shower. We are still going through the "motion" of wedding planning...

...but leaving out some extras. My FH is divorced and he said that he did not want to go through that "hell" again. And maybe I am the only girl out there, but I've never wanted a big wedding!

I personally do not think it is wrong to register, but I know many disagree. Whether you are eloping, having a private ceremony, or having a million dollar wedding....you are still "getting married".

Why not have a ceremony later on, instead of eloping?

Future Mrs. Brazana what your doing is not eloping it is a private ceremony... The distinction btw the two is eloping means it's just you two or maybe two other ppl to witness. Private ceremony means there are more than just four ppl there to celebrate the union. Private ceremonies mean that you you want to celebrate the union with ppl it's just for many reasons you might not be able to at that time...

I would say that technically this is a faux pas. The whole "registry" process is part and parcel of the "wedding" process which includes inviting quests to witness the ceremony. Since you are not having a wedding then I would nix the idea of a registry. On the bright side, many people find it in poor taste to show up to any party, especially a wedding reception, without a gift so chances are good that you will still get a fair amount of gifts even if you don't register.

I have to reiterate some of the previous comments. There is a difference between eloping and a private ceremony. Eloping is iterally running off, no witnesses, no telling people of the ceremony, just going and getting married on your own. It's almost like there is something to hide...

A private ceremony is very different. Having a few select guests, usually close friends and family, or a destination wedding type event is perfectly acceptable and should be treated as any other wedding event.

Registering after eloping is in very poor taste. It basically jist screams "Buy us presents!" but we don't care about you. Registering after a private ceremony is perfectly acceptable, especially if there is a large reception to follow.

I still have to ask why the difference in time frame? (I don't really want to know) But why not wait and have a private ceremony closer to the time of the reception? Be prepared for alot of people to ask why you got married before and they just heard.

I would have to agree with Sharon. Don't specifically ask for gifts, if people want to give you gifts they will ask family members. You could also create a registry and give the information to some of your family members to give out ONLY if people ask for it. Don't advertise that you have a registry, let people ask for it.

Carolyn..It sounds like it is a planned elopement...are your/his parents,close friends going with you? If so it will be considered more of a small wedding. I would say register but do not list your registration on the reception announcement. If any of your family/friends ask if you are registered then they can be informed where you are, if not then they will not know.