Invite dead ex-gf's parents???

Tell him no. If he were still close with her parents, I would say ok, but they are in his past and you are in his future and he needs to leave it in his past. However, I am a firm believer that you can be friends with exes. My sister is a prime example. He needs to understand that you will be friends, and only friends, with you ex. And remind him that he is who you want and not your ex, in case that is why he doesn't want your ex there.

Well, I kinda exagerated... they do talk, but only when he goes home to CA, and that's once every 6 months. And by talk, I mean they see eachother once at the grocery store, or they see eachother at the golf course, or they run into each other at a restaurant...

Fh's being a bit hard headed about this... I may have to get a bat to soften it a bit LOL

That still doesn't mean he is close to them or that they should be invited to the wedding.

No...No..No..this is not a good idea...tell your future husband that if he wants to keep in touch with this family, he can do so by going to lunch with them from time-to-time. He should not use your wedding as a platform to keep in touch with this family. And no BFF ex's you have to do your part too, be fair.

Well, to play the devil's advocate, I can see the difference between his dead ex-gf's parents and your ex-bf.. I think you should sit down and kindly express your concerns and tell him your thoughts, tell him that it hurts your feelings that he wants to invite them but he isn't comfortable with your ex-bf coming. I am sure that the death of his ex-gf made him want to reach out to her parents. I don't think it's anything insulting to you or takes away from his love for you. I love my husband and I would never want any of my ex-bf's over him, BUT I do care about several of them and if they died I would be sad. Just have an open and honest conversation about it. Good luck!

Thanks y'all! I don't think that by inviting them he's disrespecting me or anything. K's parents thought that "the kids" were going to get married because they were "so inlove"... and then they broke up. I think her parents took it harder than FH (who got cheated on btw).

It just seems to me like by them being there, seeing him get married, they could be invisioning him and K getting married???

Am I weird/paranoid for thinking that?

... and that just creeps me out.

::goosebumps::

NO! NO! NO! Any exes and/or their families shouldn't be at the wedding. Period. They are part of his/your past. I'd say as far as the guest list goes, only people that you are both really close to should be there and then family of course.

I totally agree with guerita. Him wanting the ex-gf's parents there is just weird and wrong on so many levels. I also don't think that your ex-bf should be there either, it's best to leave the temptation of drama out of your wedding day.

When FH suggested inviting K to the wedding (when she was still alive) I had no problem with it. They were still friends, so I saw no problem. Then I suggested inviting MY ex who I am very good friends with, and FH threw a hissy fit. I thought that was totally unfair, but I dropped the subject to see if I could attempt changing FH's mind about inviting my ex/friend later on.

Then, K died, and FH wants to invite her parents... bringing up the subject again.

FH is VERY set on inviting them... I just don't know how to go about telling him that I don't like the idea, since K's death is something that affected him very deeply... :sigh:

If he won't budge on the invite status of her parents, just remember that at the end of the day YOU will be his wife. Good Luck!

Um, NO!

DanyAllen...My high school sweetheart died about 10 years ago. I would like to extend a wedding invitation to his Mom (To be discussed with FH). I haven't seen her in years but she always ask family members about my well being. I think she feels a special connection to me because of her only son who passed away. Maybe, I have a soft spot in my heart for this woman. it's hard to explain. Just thought, I would share to help you understand your FH agrument.

Well i don't think that's fair at all. first of all there's no reason to invite her parents. it's fine for him to still have an association with them if that's his choice but lines still need to be drawn.

also for him to say that he would invite her if she were alive but you're not allowed to invite an ex uhhh that is a red flag all day long. double standard much? i think you should make a rule and stick to it. either you're inviting exes or you're not. if he's inviting her parents then you're inviting your ex.

this is the time to really start to respect each other. i am still very good friends with a guy i used to date. he even invited me to his wedding but i wasn't able to make it b/c i was out of town for my dad's wedding. otherwise i would have gone. but FH and i have agreed not to invited exes so he doesn't get an invite. plain and simple. it's not rocket surgery.

I can see him inviting K' parents if K died while they were still dating. I would say that's ok or if he kept in contact with them since their break up, but since he barely started keeping contact with them since her death I say no to not invite them. maybe fh feels obligated to invite them since he dated their daughter and (I'm assuming she never gotten married) feels he's the closes thing to a son in law to them. I would talk to him and ask what his obligation to them is.

Thanks girls All very valid points, and gives me stuff to think about. If anyone else has any advice, it's aaaall welcome!

Thanks girls All very valid points, and gives me stuff to think about. If anyone else has any advice, it's aaaall welcome!

No way! I would feel all creepy about it. Like they might be thinking "that should have been our daughter walking down the aisle to him". Maybe if I were really in the situation I would feel different, but...

No i mean thats weird and would just remind them that they will never see there daugther get married i would put my foot down on this

I know, HisLilSassfras! It creeps me out a bit. They do have another daughter, but still. I do understand that they did have a bond... but I don't see the point of an awkward/potentially sobbing situation.

Still thinking on how to approach the issue...