Intimate wedding with family with an After party with friends?

Yeah this kind of falls under the tiered reception rules of etiquette. Why aren’t these people good enough to make the cut? I wouldn’t do it. If you did do it I would label it as a champagne and dessert celebration. It’s clear what people are getting if they attend. I do think it’s lovely for you to host the bar for this, and to have already thought that part through.

Have you considered doing a ceremony with just immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents) then having a larger reception?

I wouldn't do what you're describing.

Personally I wouldn’t have a problem with it as a guest. I understand completely wanting an intimate ceremony and I think the reception/celebration should be for whoever you want. I wouldn’t be offended at all

I wouldn't care unless it was one of my best friends (and even then I might not care). You know your friends and family best.

As long as the ceremony is truly only close family. I see nothing wrong with this.

View Quoted Comment She said they’re including some friends too.

Etiquette says not to do this, but I personally wouldn't be offended to just be invited to the party. I've actually been to several weddings like this, and I always thought the cut-off was clear. I wouldn't have expected to be included in those couple's nearest and dearest, and I wouldn't have included them in mine if I did something similar.

However, would you consider doing it on a separate day so you aren't rushed?

I just thought I'd add my experiences to give you a few ideas. I've been to 3 weddings like this...

One was a private beach ceremony with the bride and groom, their daughter, and their parents. They hosted a cook out afterwards that was pretty much an open invitation to any family and friends. We happened to be in the area and stopped by. It was really nice because there were no expectations as guests to bring an expensive gift or even dress up. The bride and groom were stress-free and seemed to really enjoy themselves with friends. They both changed into shorts and tee-shirts.

Another couple had a formal wedding with about 10 family members then a party at their home two weeks later. It was a similar feel, although much bigger and slightly more formal. They also had a ton of kids in the family, so they were able to accommodate all the kids in a family-friendly setting, which was appreciated.

Finally, I went to one wedding that had about 15-20 people at the ceremony (I was one who attended the ceremony for this one) and 120 at the reception. Again, it was lovely and worked out well. The bride and groom were able to talk to family and take photos before they had to start worrying about all their guests arriving. My only complaint about this one is that some people had a hard time figuring out the formality of the event. They assumed it was casual without the ceremony (like wedding #1), but it was actually a more formal reception. Just be very clear to the guests about what they are going to.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. In fact, having a small ceremony, followed by a large reception (either the same day, or later on) seems to be becoming more popular. It’s what me and my FH are doing, and what several people I know are doing as well.
You said your friends have expressed interest in celebrating with you, and it seems like you’ve thought through many of the details (food, drinks) already, so I say go for it!