Intimacy issues - 1yr of marriage

Not sure if this is the right forum to post on but here goes. My husband and I have been married for 1 yr now together for 10 yrs. Throughout our entire relationship there have been intimacy issues. Mostly on my part I guess. I am not really into sex that much. I have gone to a therapist both alone and with him and can't seem to improve my intimacy issues. I don't really want it or need it as much as my husband. I do it because I know that is what is done in a relationship and is supposed to make your love and bond stronger however I feel like it is more of a chore or job. I think the only time I feel somewhat comfortable and seem to enjoy it a little is when I am drinking/drunk.



This issue has caused many fights and anger in my relationship. My husband is very frustrated and angry. I try to get into sex but I feel like I am always just faking it or acting through the motions. I don't know how to make it better for us both. I am also a very insecure person and pretty shy unless I am drinking. I am most comfortable with sex being in the bedroom, at night, in the dark. Pretty basic and boring. We also don't have sex on a regular basis. Husband would like 3 times a week and I can barely get to 1 time a week. We are both later in age....41. Which doesn't make a difference to him. My sexual appetite has never been at his level.
Now there is the added stress of talking about and when to start trying to get pregnant. I have alot of concerns with pregnancy from not being able to conceive due to my age and the added risk of a geriatric pregnancy for the baby and me. I also struggle with still wanting kids. I definitely did when I was younger but now at this age I don't know. I know my husband does and he is the only child of an only child and has the responsibility of carrying on his last name....so there is also pressure of having a boy.
I guess advice I am looking for is if anyone else experiences issues with initiamcy, low to no sex drive, concerns about pregnancy etc. I have no idea what to do or if my marriage will survive. My husband was aware of my intimacy issues in the 8 yrs we dated before he proposed. We tried so many things to help from therapy to setting dates on the calendar to have sex. Nothing seemed to work and my husband is extremely frustrated and angry. He also does not feel attractive because I don't want to have sex. I tell him I am attracted to him but sex to him is the ultimate attraction and showing of appreciation. He has talked about getting satisfied by other ways(strip club) and even mentioned other women. I think both are a threat that has been used in the past and I would comply and give him sex and I would do a great acting job. But now I am having trouble and would rather him go to a strip club. I do love my husband. I just don't love or really enjoy sex. Anyone else out there like me? I can't be the only one. Makes me feel like a freak.