Intimacy issues - 1yr of marriage

It sounds like you are asexual (also known as ace). This is NOT a medical issue, it's an orientation. Therapy, medication, etc will not fix this, because you are naturally not interested.

Honestly, I don't quite know how you two are still together. You don't sound compatible at all, he sounds unwilling to respect your issues, and ... he wants kids but you're unsure? AND he's pressuring you?

HE needs therapy, possibly couples' counseling, but...

If you are healthy, but not generally interested in sex, than it is NOT your fault. His expectations are. I'm inclined to agree with Phylicia, here. Marriage does not, in any way, entitle your husband to sex. (...Who told you that sex is "what is done"? It's "what is done" IF both parties involved want it.) Your husband's demands and threats are way out of line, and your therapists should be focusing on THAT, not your low libido.

Please, please reach out to a local LGBTQ+ group (Ace is included in the "+").

...I'd also reach out to some lawyers, but that's me.

Maybe I'm out of line by saying this, but it seems that you're just not that into your husband, especially when it feels like you're doing the most of the work in the relationship AND the home. From your last post (which I read through), it seemed that you're the one who's the breadwinner and takes care of the home. And on top of that, it seems that you face pressure to get pregnant! It's really hard to feel attracted towards someone who basically lets his wife work herself into the ground and then complains that "he's not getting his sex". Have a frank conversation with him! Tell him how it makes you feel when he says that he needs to find his satisfaction elsewhere. No one should have to be dealing with that in a marriage!

First, if it helps you not feel like I freak, I don't have a particularly high sex drive (though, conversely, I am extremely touchy-feely). Also, your pregnancy concerns are super normal.

I'm going to give some advice that is pretty old-fashioned and probably now controversial, but this is the way my religious community approaches sex and has for 2,000 years, so it may be worth considering as a perspective.

Sex is a very important part of a marriage. It also is a gift that you give to the other person in the relationship. The act of sex should always be us giving, not taking, so the goal for the husband/wife is making sure the wife/husband is enjoying it, not looking for their own pleasure. For you, this means going through the motions sometimes. But for your husband, it means caring that you're not enjoying it, working on it from his end, and sometimes just controlling his own sex drive for your sake. That's what seems like the missing side here for me--your husband demands sex and even extorts it by threatening to get pleasure elsewhere. That has to be a huge turnoff that just compounds your already low sex drive.

Our pastor always says that sex doesn't start in the bedroom at night, it starts in the morning when your spouse gives you a kiss, makes you coffee, tells you he loves you, etc. To be hostile or fight or be not loving and then demand sex is to ensure a terrible sex life. What is your husband doing to grow genuine intimacy in your relationship? What is he doing to get you in the mood? I can tell you, threatening to get it elsewhere is not it--and I can't think of anything more destructive in a relationship than what he is doing there.

A marriage typically needs sex, but your husband does not need a certain amount of sex from you. Human beings are not slaves to their sex drives. Sex is for the sake of increasing intimacy, not for him to get off. His view of sex seems to me to actually be the huge issue here, but unfortunately, that is a common view in our culture and definitely among men.

On childbearing, your concerns are very valid. I know women who have had successful pregnancies in their 40s, but a pregnancy at that age is always high-risk. I think the most important thing here is to start this process with a doctor, who can inform both you and your husband of the risks and also of the options. Your husband wants a child, but he needs to know that he will be responsible for taking care of you during a high-risk pregnancy. At the same time, I do think you should try for a child if the doctor says it is okay for you, as it seems like you were married with that understanding and children are an important part of the decision to marry and a marriage in general.

Like I said, this is all controversial, so feel free to dismiss it. Just another way of looking at it.