Including Guest Attire in Save the Dates?

Dress code should only go on invites if it's black tie. It just says dress code: black tie. It should be a black tie invite so people know as well (heavy cardstock, ivory, black type, embossed)


Also I have to mention this because it comes up so often--before you ask guests to wear black tie, ensure that you are actually hosting a proper black tie event that meets the requirements

I disagree with PP that dress code should only be listed for black tie. There are different levels of formal wear- white tie, black tie, black tie optional, formal, semi formal, cocktail... if you have any set dress code, it should be specified on the invitation so no guest shows up unknowingly under-dressed and feels uncomfortable or left out.


IMO it should just be a small notation, usually at the bottom of the invitation, and very simple "black tie attire requested/required" or "black tie optional encouraged"

But I would say, make sure you know what the typical definition of the dress code you're requesting is. Black tie or formal would require every male to be in a tuxedo or full suit, and the women in floor length gowns. Not many people have those on hand and would need to spend a pretty penny buying new ones.

View Quoted Comment Fwiw I'm aware that there are different levels of formality, but guests should be able to guess the formality from the venue, invite quality and wording, etc. Traditionally only black tie goes on invites

View Quoted Comment I've worked enough weddings, I wouldn't leave ANYTHING up to guests to guess! Lol you never know what some people are thinking.

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I have to agree with Carissa here. I think it is much less burdensome on guests to specify the dress code rather than rely on guests doing their own mini investigation to ascertain how they would dress. In my own experience as a wedding guest, I hate not knowing how to dress, particularly if the wedding is held at a location where a number of dress codes could apply (i.e. we are having a black tie wedding and have had friends attend the same venue previously for cocktail functions).

OP I would put a note on the bottom of your invitations (i.e. ‘black tie’ or ‘formal attire’) or if you have a details card, note it on such under ‘dress code’.

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I wholly agree with this. I know from wedding forums that in America it's traditionally considered rude to include a code, and that guests should be able to guess the formality from the location, but it doesn't seem to work like that here in Australia.

Firstly, Australians tend to be more casually dressed on the whole than Europe or the US to begin with, but also just because many venues simply don't clearly indicate the level of formality a wedding might be.

For example, I'd expect to wear a much smarter outfit to a wedding held in a restaurant than I would if I was just going there for dinner on a Thursday night or something, so the location tells me almost nothing. Equally, some big hotels are super fancy out the front, but the function rooms inside can be set up to reflect any level of formality from casual to white tie. How is a guest to know, unless a guideline is provided?

For me, it's just that - a guideline, not a directive. I don't think it's appropriate or necessary to provide the dress code on a Save the Date, but we did provide a very brief outline of the dress code in the detail section of our e-invites.

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It's against etiquette to list any other attire but black tie, which is actually indicating the formality of the event, not listing attire.

If you're hosting a true black tie event (open bar with top shelf liquor, multi course plated meal, fancy venue, live band, etc), then yes, absolutely: "black tie requested" or "black tie preferred" should go at the bottom of your invitation. Attire should not be mentioned on save the dates. For weddings that are not black tie, attire is generally not printed on the invitation, but can be specified on the wedding website.

Black tie is given as a level of formality. No other not excepting requirement of venue or host to protect or for health should be on a SAVE or a formal invitation. Boat shoes/ no heels or no heels on wood floors, or no heels on Rocky beach would be permissible. 😊 If you need more information than formality of a black tie event, call your host. If you know them well enough to be invited to their wedding, a phone call once or twice in six months would be nice. If need be, read a wedding website.

Fist make sure the level of event you’re hosting is actually a black tie level event. A lot of times people thing it is and it’s not. Black tie is the formality of the event. It should be listed on the bottom of the invitation. If you have a wedding website, have a FAQ section that really drives home that your wedding is a black tie (full length dresses, fully tuxedo) event.

View Quoted Comment I've been a guest at enough weddings to know that ir couples can get you to overdress by putting it on the invite or website, they will. I showed up to a farm BBQ wedding in a gown this past weekend, per the dress code. The older people completely blew off the dress code and dressed to the venue. Guess who looked more in place and less stupid? The older guests.


This has happened at nearly every wedding I have gone to for people under 35. I am sick of showing up in a gown to an event that is super casual.

I would literally say “Black Tie Attire Requested” and leave it at that. People will understand what that means or ask if they don’t.

We put black tie optional on our wedding website but not on the mailed invitations. I think our invitations do speak for themselves though! However —we will see how people dress; all you can do is suggest. At the end of the day it’s on them and you can’t control what people wear or do.

I don't know about the etiquette of it all, but traditions are going out the window anyway.

We're having a small wedding, no more than 60 people, and I plan to ask all my guests to wear our wedding colors, emerald/dark green and gold. We're not having a wedding party outside of my children as junior groom and ring bearer, and my friend's daughters as flower girl and junior bride. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. So instead I would like everyone to be our wedding party. I think it'll make excellent photos.

View Quoted Comment Your guests are not ptops for your wedding photos

*props ^^^

I agree with Elizabeth on all of this. Do not put a dress code anywhere unless you're truly having a black tie or white tie event (these are levels of formality, not just a dress code). The only other time it is appropriate is if your venue requires something specific (Example: jackets for men, covered shoulders for women, etc).

There are just some things that we have to look at from a human level instead of trying to “wedding etiquette” everything to death! 😖 In all honesty, there’s no true harm in listing attire on your save the dates or invitation. These days, weddings have all sorts of styles and possible attire options. So, providing your guests with the suggested attire isn’t much different than providing them with any other information about your wedding (time, location, etc.). No one is going to freak out if they see the suggested attire listed at the bottom of your save the date. So don’t worry with getting caught up the “etiquette” of what should get listed and where for something this harmless. As you can see, etiquette isn’t universally known anyway. So the majority of your guests won’t know “right” from “wrong” etiquette on this topic. They’ll simply be happy you informed them.

You can't post something on a public forum and then tell others to mind their business