Including Guest Attire in Save the Dates?

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For ours, we said 'formal - cocktail dress or lounge suit and tie.'

We also specifically didn't put 'for men, for women' since we don't care if the men wear dresses and the women wear suits, only about the level of formality.

Also, for what it's worth, when I think dressy casual, I would expect chinos, blazer, and a business shirt that is open-collar, no tie. For women I'd be thinking a pretty sundress and heels/wedges or a jumpsuit. But some people might assume jeans are ok if paired with a blazer.

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As per any guideline - nothing. No one is going to be thrown out at ours for not wearing a tie. And we've suggested lounge suits, but some of the guys don't have one, and asked if a blazer with non-matching pants and a tie is fine. Which of course, it is! The code is really there for the person who is asking whether this tracksuit is ok, or considering wearing daisy dukes or a white floor length gown something, but if someone chose to wear that, well... we'll still love to have them there and I'm sure our family will thoroughly enjoy mocking them for years to come (lol, I'm being facetious here - it would be in good spirit).

I simply put on my invitation "Formal Attire" at the bottom. No one said anything to me or my husband and everyone showed up dressed as they should for a plated, sit down dinner in a gorgeous ballroom.

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This is true. If I received an invite telling me what COLORS to wear I would rsvp no and probably skip a gift too.

If someone wore jeans to my wedding I would not care. I would be glad they are attending. Some people are just not that formal. Just got off work at Jiffy Lube? I don't care.

View Quoted Comment One of the things you learn quickly if you are a jr. or high school teacher, or if you specify clothes to be worn to a party or social occasion, is that most Americans aspire to being considered adult and having no one tell them what to wear. Hair, hemlines , colors, accessories are all among the first things students fight their teachers a out. And most adults consider it highly insulting when people treat them like children. Chosing hair or dress for other people outside of work clothes offends many people.

View Quoted Comment Yeah! I hear you. Thankfully our guests are used to such events and enjoy the fun of it. Like FH and I, our guests have chill and relaxed personalities. So they don’t get offended over mere attire suggestions. And, since they’re adults, they completely understand that they can certainly wear whatever they choose.

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Agree with this

Dress expected is not a secret. The point in etiquette here is to assume most people are adult, and able to dress themselves appropriately. To assume otherwise is insulting, in a culture where only children are told how to dress, outside of work or occupation. There is nothing in etiquette that suggests your brother not be informed by you or his wife or the groom personally that a suit is required, and just how dressy it should be. Or any other special cases. And anyone who calls and asks should certainly be told. Putting it on the invitation assumes you think more people cannot dress themselves for a wedding without help. Showing that you assume most can dress themselves or will intelligently ask someone for help is less condescending, " oh, and for those who cannot figure it out...than putting it on the invitation. That is the difference. And of course as with any wedding, assumes you would not be invited unless you are friendly enough to ask your hosts.

View Quoted Comment I live in the south (Texas, family from Louisiana) in USA and it’s not considered rude here for the reason that people dress down unless you tell them not to. I’ve never heard it was rude until reading these threads so it must be regional. Really silly thing to be offended by honestly.