I'm so over people trying to make me feel guilty for having a wedding!

Yep I've dealt with this too. Very annoying. I just tell people that they are welcome to pay if they want to have a say!

Whenever someone would say something to me about spending so much money on a party I just tell them it's important to me and my H and leave it at that. Its none of their business what you do with your money.

My mom is a budget QUEEN and normally this is a good thing, but when it comes to my wedding there are some things I just want to be a little more frivolous on. She is putting in $1,300 and so is my dad (they are divorced, so they are putting in the same amount) and I really appreciate that! However, $2,600 is just not enough for all of the family and friends we would like to be there. So instead of acting entitled and complaining, I simply got a second job and started having half of my paycheck deposited into a savings account. I really love working and I don't mind, and I'm an adult so I don't feel as if I'm owed a wedding, so I'm super happy to do this (and FH is pitching in as well).

However, my mom thought it was crazy that I couldn't work with the budget she set. She kept saying things to me like "you don't really need that" and believe me, nothing about my wedding is overboard. My sister saved money by having sheet cakes instead of wedding cake, so of course mom said I should do the same thing when she found out how much a wedding cake cost. I straight up told her no.

I had to explain to her, I make my own money, I am saving up for my own wedding. I am extremely grateful for the amount that her and my dad are contributing, but there are other things I would like to have that they are not going to cover, so I am going to wait to set a date for the wedding until I have a set amount in savings. She's a bit upset, because she doesn't want to see me "waist" my money and because she wants me to get married soon, both my sister and my mom had very short engagements.

After I explained to her that my FH and I are the only ones out of our siblings to not rush a wedding due to an unplanned pregnancy, and we felt like we should be able to have what we wanted and be able to wait a little longer to have it, she got the picture. For the record, I have absolutely nothing against having a baby before you are married, but I've always had my heart set on waiting... and my mom is deeply religious so she is thankful that we will be married when we have our kids. I also was sure to mention that my sister had sheet cakes because they were trying to tie the knot before she started showing and they had to work with what mom and dad were willing to give her, but I'm not trying to hide a baby bump so I can wait.

I think you just have to be firm. And at the same time reasonable. I mean, if all of these people are telling you that you are going overboard, maybe you should consider that they are trying to tell you they don't expect as big and extravagant of a wedding as you are planning.

I am going through the same thing! The crazy part about it is that I have been very frugal in my planning! I am even borrowing items from friends who were recently married!! The amount of money it costs now to do anything is more than before. I put off marriage and babies and a lot of experiences to finish college. I am by no means old but by the time I get married I will be almost 28 years old. I think that at that age I should be able to determine if my wedding budget is appropriate.

Yup all the time. I ignore them and then think of how fabulous my wedding is going to be.

I had a bridesmaid incredulous that I planned to have an open bar. Kept saying that's a lot of money. I just firmly responded yes, but it's what we want, and we've budgeted for that.

I'm getting the same from my father. I was married before. Young and dumb and I have waited through 7 years of dating this man to do it all again and I know this time will be forever. He has never been married before so his parents are helping to throw the wedding. I get the "use the money for a down payment." Life lessons have shown that 100 percent of people can't be happy 100 percent of the time and in this case we can be selfish. It is ultimately about the couple and their preference, so I say plan on and enjoy your big day!

Ignore them. Tell your mom and moh stfu or will you pay it for me

You really are damned if you do, damned if you don't. I am in the opposite boat and get pouty comments from family about how we *HAVE* to do a big expensive shindig so everyone can party together, or that we will regret it later. Thats just not us, we would definitely regret spending a ton of money on a party that neither of us wanted in the first place. Stick to your guns and do what makes sense for you. You are the one working your ass off for it!

I have been getting that from a couple we are friends with. They are getting married before us and having a little dinner in a restaurant. Primarily because he refuses to do anything and she is afraid he will call off the whole thing if it is "out of his comfort zone." He makes little remarks about everything we are doing, unfortunately my FH keeps mentioning things in front of them.

My best friend, who is not the least bit frivolous, supports me by saying, that I waited to find the right one I am entitled to the wedding I dreamed of. So, I keep repeating to myself, this is what I want and other people do not have a say in my planning.

Oh yes I'm going do whatever I want. Fh and I have been through so much bs we absolutely deserve a day to celebrate our love the way we want, and properly hosting our guest for helping us celebrate. It really is damn if I do damn if I don't.

His side thinks we should self-cater, have no alcohol, and use a reception venue with no bathrooms. They feel properly hosting (with most of my guests being OOT) is a waste of money. My parents and I shot that shit down quick. As long as you're not cutting out proper hosting, y'all do y'all.

Everything costs money. Eloping is a beautiful thing and so is sharing your day with guests. Do what makes you and FH happy........people are so annoying sometimes!

Don't discuss weddings with people

Yes you could have use all that money for other things. Does that mean you shouldn't travel because it costs money, you shouldn't go out because it's a waste of money? Life is about living and if you want to celebrate your union with the love of your life that way people should respect that

Oh and tell them come or fuck off

I had a friend who was telling people I was dumb for how much I was spending! She still makes comments when I buy things

We quickly heard these comments as well.

So now we don't even share the smallest detail to anyone other than our moms. Even then we aren't sharing that much to them since we are the one's paying for it.

When people ask me where, i give them a city completely on the other side of town, so their mind can wander. Then when they get the invite they'll see the details.

You can not please anyone but you & FH. That is how you guys have to see it and try not to even have wedding talk anymore with anyone else.

Sounds like a bunch of haters to me.

Why are people such assholes sometimes eh? It wouldn't occur to me to say stuff like this to anyone. It's pretty common place to you know....have a wedding when getting married after all. Says the snarky me;-)

I've gotten these comments as well. From people who have had weddings already. It's like, you've already had your big wedding, shut up and let me have mine. Don't project your regrets on me.

Amen sister! I just don't talk about it with people. They did their weddings there way and I will do mine my way since I can afford it!