I'm so over people trying to make me feel guilty for having a wedding!

It is as unacceptable to tell people how to spend their income as it is to inquire as to the amount of their income. I don't understand why otherwise intelligent and reasonable people think it's fine to stick their noses into another person's checkbook. It's just off limits.

Sometimes silence is louder than words, and in a case like this, my silence would speak volumes. Eventually they'll get it -- nobody likes that uncomfortable feeling of hearing their words just hanging in the air because the other party will not respond.

We all have choices, preferences, goal, and desires. You have every right to prioritize as you see fit. I'm sure you've weighed your options and have made the decision that is right for you.

I've had a few people comment on how much it is and what the money could be used for instead. I just tune them out. At the end of the day it's what you all want and if they are giving money who cares!

I just tell people to stop counting what's in my pockets and worry about themselves.

The ONE time I talked wedding planning at work someone jumped in and shouted "DON'T SPEND ALL THAT ON A STUPID PARTY SAVE IT FOR THE HONEYMOON!" I hadn't even said a number, just mentioned a venue FH wanted to tour.

I haven't mentioned wedding planning to anyone but FH since. -_-

Per usually @centerpiece you're on point.

The way my mom is acting you'd think I rented out a castle and having a lavish million dollar wedding. I actually cut out a lot of extras and been on the frugal side with decor.

@orchids I did a lot of my planning at work so my coworkers overheard some convos and I printed an invoice from the caters and one picked it up by accident and couldn't believe I was spending that much on food, she actually suggested I do a potluck instead! ummm no

Yes! It's so annoying! Or they say "when I got married we did this and this and it was so cheap, the simpler the better" sorry but I don't care! My wedding will be what i want! I'm only having 1 so I'm doing everything exactly how I would want it to be.

My mom did something similar when I first starting planning. She was telling me that it cost her $500 when she got married. So I had to "kindly" point out that this is not 1979 anymore and her's was a "shotgun" wedding and my grandmother fed everyone as there was 10 people total for the wedding. She made a big deal out of the cost of everything, including the wedding dress. I finally had to put my foot down and tell her that she's not paying for anything, therefore she doesn't get a say in what I pay.

My dad pulled the same thing, and suggested to go to Vegas and elope. Once I reminded him that he wouldn't be able to do the "fatherly" thing and walk me down the aisle, he started to recant lol. I also reminded him that he's not paying for anything as well and they both have backed off of the cost aspect. I know it still bothers them, but if we pay our bills and have everything taken care of, then there is no need to worry.

I have gotten both sides of the argument. Part of me really wanted to just elope, but part of me knew how important it was for both of our families to celebrate our marriage.

I didn't really experience this in regards to the wedding, but I have when I have spent money on other things such as cruises, concert tickets, etc. One thing I learned to counter with was when I look back on my life I am not going to regret the fact that I didn't have all this money in my bank account, but I will likely regret the experiences I missed because I was too cautious to spend the money. DH and I had a large wedding and could have easily put most of what we spent towards a new house, etc. But when we discussed what we wanted to do, we both felt that we would regret not having that experience- especially when we both thought at one point we may never meet someone and marry. I agree with others that you don't have to explain yourself but I have found when I answered it the way I described above, it ultimately ended the discussion and problem.

OP - just be glad you aren't getting married outside in 25 degree weather! Phew... now that would be something for others to talk about.

FEEL. YOU.

That's all

If you're not spending your money on crack or something with the intent on hurting someone then it's no ones business but yours. I haven't shared cost with anyone since it's none of their business. Only number I've thrown out is to my mom and MOH who are going dress shopping with me, I've been firm with them about my budget (even though they both think I'm being cheap) it's your money, spend how you want.

My aunt recently asked me who was paying for the wedding. When I told her that we were, she said "well there's nothing wrong with *insert a million ideas here*".

Thank you, but if I do not have any idea how to properly handle my own money, I would not be getting married in the first place!

It's up to the couple what they think is an appropriate amount and if it is worth it.

Lol @MrsTacoCat So many follow up questions. But yea I made sure I spent money on an indoor weather appropriate venue.

@Laura - sounds like you did it all right

My grandmother told my mom that she "didn't need to send a gift ...anyone who can throw a fancy party like that isn't in need of my money" She did not come...

I don't get comments like that but I do get people (my mom, family) that aren't very excited for me. I get it. It's not their day and no one will ever be excited about your wedding as you and your SO. I'd just ignore it. Don't discuss details with them. Let them know specifics, like where to be and when and other details like that, but leave everything else between you and FH. And us.

I actually have the opposite my FH and I were gonna have a long engagement or just courthouse it but his parents shot it down they regret not having a full out wedding with a nice ceremony and reception full of family and friends and didn't want us to wait years to get married so they offered to help along with other members of the family

I go through the same thing, but with my mom more than anybody. I usually give my mom shopping sprees. Now that I'm paying for my own wedding, I cut back on giving her money. That became an issue and my mom said I need to keep my wedding simple and not spend all that money, but why is it an issue because I wont give her money now? Jealousy and selfishness is one heck of a drug out here. I Just ignore and keep my life affairs personal.

Do what makes you and FH happy! Ignore the rest love.

Don't listen to people. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Do what you want to do