Im afraid to tell my mom about my engagement and my wedding

Here's what I think. You don't make a post like this unless you already know what you're doing is weird. You mentioned your ages, which should be irrelevant, so you're already defensive there. You mentioned how long you've been together, again, irrelevant, so you're defensive there. You know what your mother is going to say, so grow up and tell her. Do you really need 100 of us on a wedding forum to tell you to postpone the wedding until you're out of the honeymoon phase?

And nobody here cares about the age gap unless someone's underage, but have you really considered the possibilities of having children with a man 20 years your senior? Do you want your husband to be at retirement age when your children are entering college? No judgement from me, but I don't think you could have possibly truly considered those things in less than months of dating. Call your mother.

The age gap really doesn't bother me. It's the fact that 1 you just met in May. 2 you "practically live together" but he is out of town a lot?? 3 you already brought him around your kids.

Seems reckless and irresponsible. Take your time. 2 months is just the tip of the honeymoon phase, meaning you really don't know who he actually is, just the person he's being while tizzy in love.

May I ask how long you were single before you got together with him?

If your mother has concerns than there has to be more going on. As a mother we try to protect our children from making mistakes. If you already know she's not going to approve then you know that there is something wrong with your situation.

ETA-what are you even doing bringing a strange man into your children's lives before you even really know him?

On another thread, you said you had already decided you were not even inviting your mother. If you're in such a hurry to marry this guy that you "know so well now because [you] practically spend all [your] time together", then just send your mom a "Hey guess what, I'm married!" note in the mail and be done with it. FFS, the immaturity levels I see in people never cease to amaze me.

I would give it a little more time before getting married, you guys haven't known each other for long.

So going on the no punctuation thing: I just read this out loud to FH with no punctuation and was totally out of breath. I barely made it to the end. Commas and periods help!

You met in May of this year? As in two months ago? Just trying to understand. You really don't even know each other yet. You are in the "honeymoon" phase. I would suggest trying to developers your relationship before you make any concrete wedding plans. Have you even had your first fight yet? The part thay concerns me is you jist met two months ago. You haven't know this giy for years and then decided to pursue a romantic relationship. Slow it down. If it's ment to be then it will all work out on the end.

For everybody with their rude comments I don't judge your shit so don't judge me

Hmm I'm just gonna stick around and see how this all plays out. Just gonna go with a ditto @sasswood

I'm with you Erin! I need some popcorn too!

You literally asked if you were doing the right thing. You asked us to judge you! Wtf

Haven't read others comments. That being said age is not the problem in my opinion. What your mom will possibly disagree or disapprove of is that you have only known this man since May. Your still in the omg everything is butterfly and Rainbows stage of your relationship and don't honestly know this man. You will do what you want I do not doubt that but I think you shouldn't rush into marriage so fast without truly getting to know someone. After time people begin to become comfortable and start showing their true personality and you honestly don't know if you or him for that matter will still have these same feelings. Just think about it is my opinion. Anyways with all I just said your an adult your 26 tell your mom she can't stop you from doing anything or control your actions. Honesty is the best policy.

That's all you came back to say? People asked a lot of valid questions that'll help us give you better input. But okay. Judge my shit away!

You asked this forum if you're doing the right thing...so why are you mad that other people are giving you advice? Maybe it's because people in your life have told you the same thing and you just want someone to agree with you?

@OP- we are being truthful. Not rude. You specifically asked "so what do you all think".

We have told you what we think. You are not answering any of the questions that have been asked of you which means you have no problems in what you think is right. You believe there is no problem getting engaged to a man you "practically live together" after two months. Instead of getting your back up why don't you read every question asked and give an answer. If it makes you hesitate then you have your own answer

How is anyone judging? They are asking you honest questions! What did you want? Everyone to tell you what you want to hear?

Being rude and being judgmental are quite different. None of us were either of those.

Lurk.

I agree with PP. Slow. It. Down. Have a long engagement, or postpone the engagement until you know each other better. Give your mom a chance to get to know this guy. Heck, give YOURSELF a chance to get to know this guy. Studies have shown it takes at least a year to fully know someone, and people who spend more time getting to know each other and building their relationship from the ground up have marriages that fare better, have more loving and committed relationships, and have more satisfaction within their marriages. Think about that for a second. If it's really true love, he won't mind waiting until you know each other better and have the foundation of your relationship properly formed. You can't build a house without the foundation. Slow down. You'll get there eventually, but there's no need to jump into this head first. Your mom has a right to be concerned about this. It involves her daughter's life and the lives of her grandbabies! Think about this a little more. Take off those rose colored glasses and look at the situation for what it is. That's just too quick... whether you were both 26 or both 44, the age difference isn't what matters here; it's too soon to rush into marriage.

@Princess consuela I really hope your last name is banana hammock

@erin that's all I think of every time I see her!