I think I have to fire one of my bridesmaids...

...wedding, having one less bridesmaid isn't going to make it look funny. It's just going to be a little sad. Know that you gave her the opportunity to drop out and that if she didn't want to at the time, that falls on her shoulders.

I could never ask anyone I cared about to step down.

Im sorry, but you have 4 weeks until your wedding and you are willing to throw a relationship away because she is too busy?!

Its your wedding and any helpyou get from your bridesmaids is wonderful and should be unexpected. With that in mind, i'd just let it go. Tell her how excited you are for her to stand by you on your day and ask her how she is doing. What is new in her life? After your wedding if you still want this woman in your life, that is what you will have to do. Kicking her out will end that friendship.

If you have already paid for the dress then I would just give her the benefit of the doubt... if she doesn't show up, that's on her, I wouldn't let it ruin your day

I wouldn't kick her out..dont see how anyone can fire someone that is not getting paid..lol..anyway she has alot going on and is facing some tough times right now..give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe just talk to her about how she is doing..be the friend that you would like to have...i get that you are frustrated..i think we all would be at this point..but try and remember that to us our weddings are the center of our universe for awhile and she has alot on her plate right now ..but kicking her out in my honest opinion is not the right thing to do..if you value your friendship then juts be patient with her and let things ride..if she doesnt come then she doesnt come but letting her go is just going to add even more bad to her life at this point!I know its hard because you want everything perfect and it is your day after all but nothing in life is perfect and we cant control everything..I think in the long run by not letting her go you are going to feel better about you choice!

It's sad that she has not been there for you like you had hoped she would. Especially since you have been friends for so long. I would just be completely honest with her. I would say exactly what you have wrote here so she knows how this has affected you. Good luck!

If she can't make it to the simplest 'events', I don't have very high hopes of her making the main one. She should have already purchased her tickets/hotel. 4 weeks away, if she was a good friend, she'd know that you are going to stress about her commitment and she should bow out. Be upfront and tell her about your worries. If she says that she'll make it or don't worry, pretty much tell her that this is the last time you're going to talk to get about this.

When she would be late, would she even call?

Just be honest and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you are hurt by her lack of involvement and you think it is too much for her to handle. There will be some hurt feelings, but hopefully you can work through them! I had a maid drop out and one I had to fire. They were both always MIA and made everything about them. In the end our wedding will be better with out them! I just wish I would have seen that before I asked them to be part of the party! Good Luck!

For everyone, I know that I can't "fire" her technically. Its just a term I have heard before in this situation and the only one that came to mind. I am not trying to insinuate that she is my employee and has to do my bidding or anything! lol. I guess it was just a bad choice of wording.

Labake O: I think I mentioned everything you asked in my orig. post but: Yes, we had the finances convo and she said that she still wanted to do it. But I personally felt it was more from a stand point b/c she wants to do it more than she can actually afford it. As far as I know, her money is supposed to come from whatever is left in her bank account, they have no savings. I am paying for everything minus airfare and hotel. So, that is all she needs to pay for.

Cassidy A: No, she never calls either. I usually hear from her the next day after she doesnt show up with her reasoning for not being there. Which is rarely ever related to her children. It's usually that after we make plans, she makes more plans and times them before seeing me (so then she ends up being held up) or she tries to run errands an hour before seeing me and gets held up or she just plain forgets even though she always asks me to repeat so she can write it down.

Brittany, I know you already mentioned all the things I asked in your previous post. I just had to highlight the fact that you are aware that even though she may want to be in your wedding, she may not be able to.

I coulnd't imagine being jobless and spending the remainder of the money in my account on a wedding!

I think if you can't afford for her to be in your wedding, then she won't be in it. I would just say try your very best to salvage the relationship.

I'm sure her relationship is important to you--why don't you just take her word at face value and if she can't come then she can't come?