I give up.

I'm sorry they were saying those things to you.....a lot of people don't realize how expensive and hard it is to plan a wedding

Dont give up... if you dont do it, and its obviously what you want, you will regret it later.

I am pretty much here the same thing from my/his family, they just want us to do a small thing. We already got married by JP this is our big celebration, they think its outrageous (which it is) but we cant do a 2k wedding like they did ... hell my photographer costs more than that!

Don't elope. They don't matter and you will regret it if you don't have a wedding just to please them.

I agree don't give up. My grandmother told my mom there was no point in me having a wedding because "I was already damaged"...um excuse me, we were planning our wedding way before our daughter was born or concieved for that matter! I was hurt and shocked, but I went ahead and kept going! She doesn't have to be invited anyway if she so feels that way. People are going to bring you down, only if you let them. I hope you do what you and your fs wants. Good luck hun!

DONT GIVE IN!!!!! if you give in to these peoples crap you just show that they are in control of you and your life. if you give into this they will only push you further later. my mom is doing the same thing, and as good as it sounds to just go to the court house i refuse to because i dont want her to feel like she won.

Just have a small wedding Those that aren't supportive, don't invite......

People get lost in the financial aspect of the wedding and forget what it is all about. It is the celebration of a union between you and your future husband. Not only are you and him uniting, but your families are uniting as well. You need to think long and hard about what you really want. If you can honestly say that you won't regret eloping, then go for it. I do not recommend going into a marriage with regrets and disappointment. Oh and don't worry about what people say. There will always be people who do not share your vision for your wedding plans. You should seriously discuss the significance of your wedding with your FH. I'm sure if he knew how important it was to you, it would become important to him.

Don't give up!! that was very disrespectful of them to do that. DH wanted to elope but he knew I wanted a small wedding so in the end he was supportive & we had the small wedding. thus i suggest you & your man sit down & talk about this. don't start a marriage regretting anything, or even worse... with no support. don't give up!

Don't give up. For all the people who are negative, focus on the ones who are positive, like you and your FH. If it gets to be too much, at least go on a destination wedding where the two of you can celebrate. Invite the people who love you. Those that are negative won't come and you won't have to worry about it!

Don't give up on want you want cause if you do you'll whine up throwing it up in your FH face everytime there is an agruement and you'll end up regreting it. if a wedding is what you want then go for it and forget about what anyone says. my FH family was the same way when we picked our date. cause it was three years away when we got engaged they thought it was a joke and was never supporting us, but my FH said forget about what they say all that matters is us. so we're gettin married and doing it our way. you should do the same

FH doesn't want a wedding. No one besides me does. I've been planning the entire thing myself while everyone acts like it's just weird and bizarre and stupid that I want to have an actual wedding. I've been fighting to have a real wedding ever since I got engaged and I'm sick of hearing about how dumb it is to spend all of that money on a "big party" when I could just throw on my slippers, drive to the courthouse and get married there like a smart person who isn't superficial.

I can't believe that he doesn't even want one. if he loved you and knows how much this means to you he should be willing to comprise for even a small one with just close friends and family, and for his family to call it superficial is crazy talk. they maybe mad cause you want a nice wedding and they didn't have one. i don't know what to tell you cause the point of getting married and just being in a relationship is about comprise and working together and if he's acting like this on something that is so big for you and important to you and he's not even trying to be supportive at all, i would really think about it.

This is something that you and your FH have to sit down & discuss. Remember, this day wedding is not about them, it's about you & him, and in any relationship you both have to learn to compromise. I do understand your frustration somehow bkoz I was on the same boat but only I was the one not wanting a big wedding, I wanted a cruise wedding with just close friends & family but my FH wanted a big wedding. He told me that he's only getting married once & he wants to share the moment with all his family & all his friends, which I understood & I thought about it & figure that yes I want the same thing, so we both agree on doing a very decent wedding & share our happiness with everyone.

Before you give up, sit down with FH, tell him why you want a wedding & have him tell you why he doesn't want one, & one of you will have to compromise. If you 2 cannot do that, then you both need to rethink the relationship b4 making a lifetime commitment to each other. I wish you all the best

Oh my GOD! That is so awful! I mean, in this economy it is hard enough to put on a wedding as it is! Maybe you two need to rethink getting married because if he can't understand what is important for you then there will be plenty of disputes AFTER you are married! May I remind you that a divorce is much more costly than a wedding? Keep fighting dear!!!

People will always have something to say especially family! I had some moments where I just wished me and my now husband flew to hawaii or to vegas and on married alone but I knew it would all be worth it in the end and it was every last cent , every tear, every headache was worth it! Give yourself the wedidng you want and if they don't want to help in the process they will loose out not you! Alot of people will tell you don't waste your money on a wedding but its your wedding so if you have the money for it then do it screw everyone else its about you and yours!

Just ask yourself....in 20 years, what will you remember? The price of the wedding or the memories/pictures of a very happy day? That's what is keeping me going. I'll be there's not one bride here who hasn't thought, is this all worth it? It's a hard process to go through, to plan a wedding. If you just give up, they are getting their way.

I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. Honestly though, either hang in there or run the other way! I know that sounds harsh but here's my thoughts: Regret is a very painful emotion and I would hate to look back 15 years from now and regret not going with my heart. Maybe you should take a break from everything for a few days and then re-evaluate. Have a really honest discussion with your FS about what a wedding means to you and how much it hurts you that not only are your family members making you feel like this but he too is hurting your feelings. If he can't understand that then you guys have much deeper problems than your family not agreeing with spending $ on a wedding. Your FS should be on your side and support you through thick and thin and the wedding planning is just a taste of how supportive he will be in your marriage. I don't mean this to be hurtful but I never understand it when couples disagree this much just planning a wedding.

Awe aweetie I am so sorry!! Sux inconsiderate people and how they refuse to think of n e ones feelings!! I wouldnt give up on my wedding tho...I would now downscale it a bit and cross off all those that think its a waste of time...why let them enjoy this day with you...it would just make them meiserable right...invite your friends and family that are supportive and screw the rest!!!

Well, first I would talk to FS and find out what he truly wants, and go from there. I don't want you to look back and regret not having the wedding you have wanted, but perhaps you will be able to compromise. If he wants to elope, have a destination wedding some where close (or tropical if you like) and invite the bare minium. Or even just your closest friends to be witnesses (and perhaps the family that actaully want to attend the wedding). And when these anti-wedding people gripe about not being there, or why you did what you did, simple say "We got married and only had the people there that loved and support us in our decision to get married, and it was a beautiful and lovely day."

Your wedding date is almost 2 years off. A lot can change between now and then. I think as you get closer to your date, family & friends will "get on board."