I don't want to spend money on my wedding.

Paige, give me a break! My wedding is costing us $50K, yeah there's pain and poverty out there, there will still be pain and poverty out there after donating your money, call me a bitch but ya get married once, I'm spending the money on MY wedding! Can't be an excuse to serve crappy cheap food to your family. That's ridiculous! If u can't afford after "donating", elope !

Elope.

@LisaS I sincerely apologize if I offended you with my post. Like I mentioned before that was not my intention.

I literally had the thought and turned to this forum for advice because I knew it would be raw and uncut.

And you're correct. I do not want to host then with poor food or service. Which is why I decided to look into some ideas given on here. I do not want to elope. So I am going to do the ceremony and reception, just save money where I can.

Again I apologize to those I offended. I really didn't mean anything by thus

Smaller budget doesn't necessarily mean a crappy wedding or poor food/service. Just depends on the circumstances really.

Where you want to go "cheap" is up to you. There's ways if you really want. We're having a church wedding and they have a reception hall for only 600$ and it's NICE and newly remodeled. Neutral colors, dark wood floors and tables and banquet chairs are included. They also allow alcohol. This is how we're cutting costs----my brother has DJ connections and will probably get one at next to nothing. (For my 15 we spent $100 on a DJ for 4 hours). My wedding planner that does linens, design, set up/take down and flowers is actually a friend of my FH. She started her business about 7 years ago and she's amazing. She's being super awesome with us so we save there. My dress is actually used. I found it on 5 miles and it's GORGEOUS. It's a stella york dress that I wanted and it was only $300 instead of $1400. Our photographer that I found her on WW is $500. I still have A LOT of planning-my wedding is not until next summer. We're trying to save where we can but we have 3 kids and I'm in school. Honestly, the majority of our budget is for catering.

Ask around. See if you have connections you didn't know about. I had no idea about my FH's friend. For venues look into recreation centers/parks..they're usually on the cheaper end. If you really want to cut the budget be simple. You'll probably have to do a buffet style reception/self serve. OR, have your ceremony which shouldn't even cost much with the church and go to dinner somewhere instead of having a full blown reception/dance. Where you cut costs is completely up to you

HOWEVER, yes, there is so much out there, it's really depressing. But this is your day. There is NOTHING wrong with spending your entire budget for yourself for your wedding. It's the beginning of your future with your FH. Enjoy it. It's like saying....well I can't eat my food today because there is a child out there that doesn't have any. Yes, there is a lot of suffering but your wedding day will not change that. After your wedding you can volunteer, save up again, or find other ways to donate your time/money..and in a way that isn't advertised.

Good luck

edit: I second whoever said that you could have your guests donate to a certain charity instead of giving you gifts.

Go to city hall and have dinner with close family and friends

@Paige...just curious. You haven't planned anything but your date is set for February? The reception can be planned in less time (my sister planned her civil wedding in 3 months just fine), but you know for the ceremony the church requires a whole bunch of things. FOCCUS, marriage prep (which took us a month to complete), paperwork...some churches will tell you to contact them a least 6 months before to start the process and some even a year before. Check with your parish so you don't get bad news last minutes. Also, I wouldn't spend that little time planning just because they require A LOT and it's stressful on it's own. Simple/smaller weddings are still stressful and take time.

@SarahR your post is so sweet. Thank you for all the information!

We are starting the preparation classes for church already. And my sister-in-law sets up dates and is keeping me posted about dates being available. So other than the reception really I have it all planned.

I don't think I will be able to plan the reception for a while. But I'm gathering ideas and wants/needs now before I set down official roots.

Planned parenthood? Lmao that's not charity.

I kinda feel like this is shaming those who had weddings, spend money....

There's way more organizations than Planned Parenthood...

Give ur money to an orphanage. To a hospice. To a church. Pay a low income families bills. But to give ur money to planned parenthood for the majority to spend on an abortion...... if ur trying to do a good deed. Planned parenthood is not it.

We are to help the homeless, the widows, and the fatherless as described in scripture.

Maybe have your guests donate to a charity of your choice instead of them giving you money?

I skimmed the comments and I have to admit I'm kinda speechless, which (as anyone who knows me knows, is freaking rare.....)

Speechless point number one is Soon to Be Mrs. ignorant comment. If you knew anything about PP, you'd know that a miniscule (like less than 10%) portion of their budgets go to abortions and honestly, what if it does? They have been providing health care and education for women for years, and let me tell you something; if the current administration has their way with health care? As women (and I know there are men here too) we will need them even more because Trump seems to think that we self-heal. You need to do some research before you spout crap like that. Because your opinions are flat out wrong. God help you if you ever need health care for some female oriented issue or even more God forbid if you find yourself pregnant in a situation where being pregnant is not a possibility. Easy to judge if it's not you, right?

But I digress.

Key point number one. Are you trying to be cheap or responsible? And that is a key point. And the combination of both is a real possibility.

There was a wonderful article in the NYT magazine some years ago, talking about wealth/guilt/philanthropy. Essentially the point was that you don't have to trade in your top level Mercedes for a pitted Scion; you can find a middle ground that lets you support causes you love without living in a refrigerator box yourself. We can all do that, with or without a wedding and the incumbent expenses looming on the horizon. We can NOT buy 1400 shoes, but buy nice 300 shoes and have 900 leftover to do something charitable with....

For you own wedding? Invite a few people. Treat them well. Don't have a registry. Give the money they will give you, and they will, to the charity of your choice.

Your motivation is good. The mechanics need a tweek, but your heart is in the right place.

Thanks @Celia! Great advice. For the part about being cheap or responsible. I found a caterer for meal time that is in my price range and I'll still be saving money! So I am going to do my research on some charities. I should be starting to volunteer next week at feeding America.

Do whatever you want. I think people seem to forget a meal was never really part of the wedding celebration in the past. It was cake and punch period. I had a friend who went all out because she had the money and with me planning mine she said don't do it. Keep it simple!

Facts tend to offend ppl.

Furthermore, whatever charity or organization you choose is your choice. The nerve of some people with uninformed information.

The last few comments were disappointing. Planned Parenthood Forever.

In order to keep this thread from getting off topic and causing offense I'm going to lock it now. Paige, thank you for coming back with your update, I am glad you got some advice that you've found helpful, and we'll be here to help if you need any help looking for catering options - we wish you the best!