I don't want to spend money on my wedding.

I doubt everyone, especially if you have older and elderly guests, will want to be at your wedding starting at 8 or 9 pm. That's bedtime for most. If you truly must be cheap to feed everyone a full professionally catered meal (even though you have the money), then have a cake and punch reception between lunch and dinner (like around 2 pm) followed by your necessary Catholic ceremony.

You can do what you want. It's your wedding. However, I agree that people should be offered a meal if it's during a meal Time. We did a small guest list and anyone not sent a formal invite is welcome to come after dinner for drinks/dancing whatever. No open bar. People can pay for their own if money's tight. My family can drink quite a bit so that would get spendy quick.

Heidi- that's rude.

Megan- never ask guests for money. For any reason. Ever.

Don't feel guilty about wanting a wedding for 8k. I understand you want to donate to charity and if that's your dream then go for it. You are entitled to the wedding of your dreams though, if that is a courthouse wedding or an elopement that's entirely up to you or even the 8k celebration. Don't sacrifice though what you really want because you feel guilty about "other people needing it more".

@Paige: I agree. That's why I think it's so nice that that Bride who was "Dumped" donated her reception food to the homeless.

Sorry this post, had me caused me major side side eye.....

I think you can have a nice wedding but cut some of the extras and donate the money to worthwhile charities. I'd forget STDs, OOT gift bags, BM proposal boxes, wedding table favors, Spa dates and BM robes. That's a couple of thousand right there. We like ASPCA, American Cancer Society, Salvation Army or a local homeless project called SOVA.

Is that you, Phoebe Buffay? Sneaky...

You could donate any cash you get to a charity. I wouldn't ask for money though. But that way, you get a wedding and people get helped. Another thing you could is, set aside a monthly amount that is in your budget to go towards a cause or charity. A lot of them have a monthly gift option. I've heard too of people putting that option on the registry, but I'm not sure how that works. Animals, elderly, children and vets always need our help. I'm big on standing up and speaking for those who can't speak for themselves. It's something to pray about and think over.

For the person that referenced a Chinese auction...gonna put this down here for you:

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C04E2DE1031F931A25750C0A9609C8B63

Let's maybe not used outdated offensive terms?

I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

Take all the money from your wedding gifts and give it to charity. If you don't feel like that's enough, start saving up again as soon as the wedding is over and donate that to charity. Even better set up a regular donation to be removed from your account every month, since it's much better for organization to know roughly how much to expect in spendable donations rather than wait for a big windfall. If you're determined to spend wedding money on charity instead, your guest experience should be the LAST thing you cut. Wear a sundress you already own and do your own hair and make-up, and donate the attire/beauty money instead of the food money.

You need to get over the guilt. This is one of those very VERY few times in your life where you need to put your partner and you first. It's a very noble sentiment you have but this is not the occasion for it. Charity starts at home. Create a memory for the two of you that will help sustain you through the rough times ahead and there will be some. If the best memory for you two is an intimate event so be it, but create the best memory you can.

What I really wanted to do for my wedding was have a really tiny ceremony with just my immediate family and grandparents, and then take them all out to a nice restaurant afterwards for the "reception" but my mom (who is paying) wanted to invite everybody and have a fancy thing so that's what I'm doing. In my opinion ejther do something small like what I described or a courthouse wedding, or spend the money on a decent reception that includes a meal and drinks. But that is just my opinion after all.

Instead of a registry/gifts we asked people to donate to one of two charities on our behalf. Something to consider

Hmmm....your wedding is six months away and nothing is planned -- even the Catholic Church ceremony?

There are plenty of ways to do charitable deeds, but it always hits me the wrong way when the first thing that happens -- prior to a single act of selflessness -- is a public announcement. This is a matter of conscience, and this "I cannot, in good conscience, use money to fund my wedding when there is so much suffering in the world, so I'm donating (as yet, unspent) money to those in need" is off-putting.

It's especially off-putting when that announcement is made on a forum made up of people who are spending thousands on their own weddings.

If you don't want a wedding, don't have one. Just ask the priest when he can squeeze in a ceremony between now and February. No guests, no reception, no guilt.

@Paige, my ceremony is from 7:30-8:30 and that is DEFINITELY meal time.

You could have a message, about "in lieu of gifts, please consider donating to" such and such charities. My FH's aunt did this since it was a second wedding, and they are pretty well-off, so not needing gifts. This way, great causes still get donations but you can properly host your guests.

There's no requirement you have to have a wedding. you can still have a catholic service. but if you invite people, you should at least feed them dinner.

Thank you everyone for your opinions and advice.

Things to clear up.

I apologize to people who are spending a lot on their weddings and I have offended with my post.

To those saying I am cheap, I am far from it. With advice given to Me, I have decided to feed my guests a proper meal, I will even do it during meal time. Like 5-9. That way my guests can enjoy their night and not be so tired after.

I am going to donate any cash my fiance and i get to charity (I will do my research) he said he is ok with that as well.

And you're correct to say I haven't spent the money or planned anything. And I most likely won't until the beginning of December. My FH and I are waiting on his orders. Which should be October, then I will send out invites and most of the money will be once we get invites back from our guests.

I really do apologize for those I have offended.

Just elope then.