I don't want to spend money on my wedding.

So like I said I need to do a ceremony. Being Catholic and all. But I appreciate all the input. It just popped into my head and I wanted opinions.

Thank you all.

Paige- yes. If people show up for the ceremony they should be given a thank you (the reception)

I don't think you're crazy. I think that's super sweet and thoughtful of you!!

Please do not put "Eat before you come" or anything similar on your invites. If your wedding is during a meal time then a meal needs to be provided.

That's what I thought. Thank you everyone.

Follow up question, is 9 a better time to start the reception to avoid dinner hours?

I'm a charity and told I'm a good cause.

Well I would put drinks and desserts to follow ceremony

Paige- what time would your ceremony be ? You want to avoid there being a gap. (Unless the gap is cocktail hour and is fully hosted). 9 pm seems late to me but others will be able to give better advice.

LOL @Kari! I think 9 would be much better and your wording on the invites is pretty clear IMO

I have not been able to set that specifically because my fiance is waiting to see when he will be deployed. So I was hoping to do the ceremony from 6-7. But that is cutting it close to dinner time. Or is dinner time. So I'm thinking ceremony from 730-830 if allowed

If that's your wording then you'll be having a cake and punch reception and I wouldn't count on it lasting too long. People need food. Especially with an open bar.

Does that mean your mom is still cooking for 53 people prior to your ceremony? Out of curiosity, who is paying for that meal? I'm also curious to know where you have enough space for your mother to feed all those people?

I'm not sure if a Catholic Church would do a ceremony that late in the day; common times I've heard are 2PM and 6PM.

2PM, I don't think you could get away with just cake-and-punch afterwards. If they could do 1PM, you possible could; with the ceremony going from 1-1:30/2PM, immediately followed by a 2hr reception, ending at 4PM.

6PM, you'd have to provide a catered meal. That's a meal time.

Hmmm. So substantial food that's catered and not too expensive. Maybe Mexican food. It's my fiances favorite

If your concern is about the guilt of where the money could be going instead, I would argue that there are much more impactful things you could do to help people than spending less on your wedding, unless it's truly a significant amount of money you're taking about. That guilt is a slippery slope. Why stop at your wedding? What about all the clothes you buy that you don't need? What about your job? Is there a career path that would do more better for the world? You could beat yourself up all day thinking about how your decisions could be better for the world. As someone who strives to live a service-driven life, I suggest thinking about what issues matter the most to you, and then learning about what would make the biggest impact to that issue. Maybe it involves your wedding, or maybe it has nothing to do with it. Or maybe it's a combination! Like instead of a bachelorette party, inviting your close fiends and family to join you in a volunteer activity.

I wouldn't do an open bar with snacks. You would need to provide a meal.

No. My mom would feed her side of the family. Dad would feed his. The extras are my sister's and their husbands and kids I would feed. I guess just having dinner is smart.

I love having my bachelorette party to volunteer. Great idea. I'm going to be a teacher. And I am trying to not spend frivolous money in general.

You all have been so helpful. Thank you. I'll give them a meal and I will look to all areas of my life to really help people. Much love

You can ask for guests to donate to a charity instead of a registry? But still properly host and get a caterer.