i do/i don’t

View Quoted Comment Counseling!!! I would have loved to do that.

View Quoted Comment I’m moving to Canada!!! 😉
Thank you. We were great together. It’s just...I made sure everyone was taken care of. I forgot the most important one

View Quoted Comment I guess I’m a sucker for punishment.
It’s not him. It’s me. I think I’m an enabler

View Quoted Comment Thanks Jennifer. I agree. We started talking more about our feelings. He kept his bottled up for a few, as he said, and then lashed out with it all. I was caught by surprise. But I told him, I can never discount how he feels. Now. He’s waiting for me to say all that I feel and I’ve held back. It’s me. I need him to know how I feel

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much. I thought I was alone in
This. We’ve shared our most embarrassing and most delicate issues with each other. We should be able to talk

View Quoted Comment The most recent was when he asked for his things as to never come back. Then he cane back to give me back his wedding gift and a gift from 2 years ago. The other breakups were ...the longest one 2 months and the other a month. When we had spats in Texas, I was in my apartment and he was in his house. I moved in with him after my lease was up. Being retired was too much time together so I went to
The gym 3 times a week. We spat over closet space in that 4 bedroom house. Finally I applied for work and the job came up in Philly. When I moved ( we agreed the job was a big thing) he said he wanted to be with me and sold the house. The last spat was over me not putting him first.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Jodie. This helps tremendously. We’ve talked about that with our other bumps in the road. That and counseling would be the way to go. It’s fresh though. This happened Wednesday. We are still communicating. He’s even brought me soup because I hadn’t eaten. He says he loves me and wants me to share with my family why we are not getting married. 🙁

View Quoted Comment I am no expert nor would I ever pretend to be one, but based on this information and my past experiences, I would say that there are relationships where you can love a person with your entire being and sometimes that just isn’t enough. Sometimes people can love each other and not be compatible. Although I think your decision has to be based on your thoughts alone. I don’t know every detail of your relationship but I do know that you should not take all the blame. A relationship will only work if two people are willing to work for it. You mentioned in a different response that he likes to keep things bottled up and explode. That is not fair to you because you are not a mind reader, he needs to communicate and not put you in that position. Communication also needs to go both ways. The best advice I can offer you would be to go see a couples therapist if this is something you want to work for. However if you want to take this step to move on you are going to have to be the one who breaks this cycle. I hope this is helpful information and if you need to talk to someone I am here for you!

View Quoted Comment I agree. Wedding planning is not happening any more. I’m currently looking for a place to live. My lease is up January 31. Rye moves into the new house January 15, so it will be bittersweet. We made plans for the house. I paid for the move from Texas, the hotels and food. It took us five days to tow a car from Texas. I tried to setup an Air BnB to help us transition but he said don’t waste money. He stayed at his brothers.
Now. I’ll be on my own for the first time in a while.

You are definitely not alone, send a message if you need to talk!

Never in almost 5 years. We've had fights, like every couple, but we try to stay calm and talk through it. We never let it fester. When we moved in together, there were a ton of fights the first couple of months--which is why I think every couple should live together first. We worked through it and are stronger than ever :-)

View Quoted Comment Thanks Jazmine. I know time apart helped as we did it before. But that was before the engagement. I’m feeling worse because this happened while we are engaged. I may not seem like it, but I’m devastated

View Quoted Comment Awesome. Things work out for the better I think. I put it in Gods hand.

View Quoted Comment That in a nutshell. Thanks Jasmyn. All of your responses and advice are welcomed. It’s not failing if I admit to my mistakes and want to solve problems. I want to be the best person for my other half. If I need reflection, I’ll do it. If I need advice, I’ll take it. I’ve been through a lot in my 52 years. I can get through this. Thank you again for your thoughts. I’m listening

View Quoted Comment Thanks Doll. ☺️
I will stay in here and keep updates until I feel there is no need to.

View Quoted Comment So glad to hear. We’ve lived together. And fought over closet space. ☺️

View Quoted Comment Wishing you the best of luck! Hope you can work things out! Every couple has their issues and no relationship is perfect. It takes a lot of patience, compromise, and love but I truly wish you the best❤️

View Quoted Comment

I just read all of your other comments. It sounds a lot like my previous relationships. One guy was constantly breaking up and getting back together with me. Finally after 4 years he said he was ready to get married and he saw us staying together forever. I broke it off, I was fed up with the constant going and coming back. I'm glad we aren't together, we weren't compatible.

Another guy, everything was about him and not us, or even me. I always felt like I was doing something wrong and nothing I did made him happy cause it wasn't good enough. Even if I was helping out my family, to him it was a nuisance which it shouldn't be! He should be happy to help my family too cause you aren't marrying the other person, you're also marrying the family!

I think it's romantic that you guys were high school sweethearts and have reconnected again. But, like others have said sometimes it might not be enough. I definitely felt like I was wearing rose colored glasses in my past relationship, not seeing the red flags all around me. I've learned how to pick myself up and to take care of myself through all the hardships and pain.

I don't know what's happened in your relationship cause we all have our own perceptions about our own lives. But, maybe step back and check to see where you are and where both of you are.

We broke up 3 times over the course of 4 years... It's not great, but I know we're stronger now as a result of the problems we've gone through. Some of what has happened has been really bad, and through it all I've never been able to hate him, no matter how badly I wanted to. People think I'm crazy.

Zero.
We have disagreements, everyone does, but I have never and would never consider breaking up with him. We have been committed to each other and our relationship since day one.