I asked my friend to be maid of honor and she said no

Try:

Settings --> Manage --> Scroll to "Email Settings" and uncheck the "Bride Community" option.

On the Main Topics board, every time you get a new post your topic will go back to the top. You can also go back and look at old topics. It's kind of a toss up as to the chance of side conversations on your board & an influx of emails - or checking back to the forum to see what responses you get.

I thought that looking back on the forum when I have free time was less of a hassle than **** emails, since we can't control what posts we receive. Your choice.

Jill, if you feel the need, call your friend and ask her why she declined the spot of MOH. Perhaps he does not have the time. It could also be as simple as "I don't want to be MOH."

It could be more, or less. None of us know you, so we have no clue if your friends are truly friends, or if you think this lady is your friend, yet she does not feel as close as you think she is.

I am glad that you have kissed and made up with Brian C. He is a valuable resource here, and a hell of a nice man (with boy bits).

I'm with you, Jill - it is a very hurting thing. Your BFF should be there to support you, as you would be there for her. However, remember, that you are getting married to the love of your life, so don't lose what's important here. Whatever her reasons (and, why don't you just ask her why, for pete's sake!) the message you have to learn here is that your wedding is about the celebration and life-long commitment to your fiance. Don't make the wedding bigger than your relationship. Pray on it, keep good thoughts and you will have the answers. Meanwhile, plan your wedding, pick your dress, your colors, your theme and you will find other bridesmaids - or how about using other people's children? They could be your Junior bridesmaids and it will be darling. A family member could sign your license as your witness and you could still have a wonderful and memorable wedding. I think the groomsmen and some little ladies would be delightful!

Good luck!

Lise'

www.mybelovedwedandart.com

Do you have any sisters or female relatives you are close to that you could ask to be your MOH? MOH doesn't have to be your closest friend. My soon-to-be step-daughter will be my MOH. She is only 11 years old so the duties of MOH will be handled by me and my mother as we are not having a wedding in the traditional sense.

Jill, I wouldn't feel that bad about it! I'm in the same kind of situation as you. Except, my maid of honor excepted, then backed out. We started planning about 3 1/2 months ago when we set the date. She backed out about 1 1/2 months ago. I have no other friends that I would want to take her place, so we are going with out a maid of honor and a best man. My bridesmaids are my two 10 year old nieces. Our groomsmen are my uncle and my cousin!

I figured out why my maid of honor backed out. Although I don't like the reason, I accepted it. If it's even a lame reason to you for not wanting to do it, so be it! It's her choice in the end whether or not its a yes or no. You can't force someone to do what you want them to. I understand you feeling let down and having your feelings hurt. And maybe even being disappointed in your friend for her decision. But it's hers to make. I do hope you figure things out. Whatever happens is in God's plan for you and your fiance.

I would also like to say that if your other friends don't want to "step up" when you need them, then you should check your friends! It just seems a little highschoolish to me. Kind of like a follow the leader or else you're not cool like how cliques are.

I also understand not wanting to be rejected again. But if that's what is really holding you back from asking anyone else to fill her shoes, then skip a maid of honor and just do bridesmaids! They can help out as much as you feel you need them to. If you want them to and they are willing. The load won't be put on just one person either, so it's not as heavy for anyone!

Better to be told no at the start then have her say yes and then back out later.

Ok, just off the top of my head, a few reasons why your friend might have said no without telling you why:

1. She can't afford it, and is embarrassed to admit to her financial situation.

2. She is pregnant or TTC. She is afraid she'll buy a dress and then not fit into it, but doesn't want to tell you her plans when she doesn't know for sure.

3. She has a social phobia that causes her intense panic when she is on display in front of people.

4. She just got dumped by a guy, and can't even bear to think about weddings right now.

5. She hates to wear dresses, and/or hates how she looks in them.

6. She's been in another wedding, and had such awful drama that she lost a friend. She doesn't want to lose you, too.

7. She's had some bad experience with your FI, but doesn't want to tell you because she thinks that would mean the end of your friendship.

(cont.)

I'm sure there are lots of other possible reasons. The point is, if she had been a good friend for years, you give her the benefit of the doubt. She didn't take the job and then flake out on you. She just told you that that particular job is one she isn't willing/able to take on, and she said that in plenty of time for you to find someone else or just decide not to have a MOH. That should not be the end of the friendship.