How Would You Handle This Situation

Man, I could never imagine sending someone this, even if it was $120 per person. Especially with a destination wedding you always have the possibility that someone won't be able to make it last minute. It sucks, but life moves on.

If I were the no call no show and I received this I'd probably pay it because I hate confrontation, but I would not be friends with that person anymore.

As crappy as that is, sometimes you just have to suck it up buttercup and eat those expenses. Destination weddings offer all sorts of small risks like that. I would say read the contracts and then read them again to know what you are responsible for regarding the “what if’s”.


Does it mean I wouldn’t reach out to the rsvp that ghosted me? Hell no lol But I’d probably approach it more with curiosity, you never know what could have happened.

I get weddings are expensive and all but this is not right at all. I would be upset someone RSVP'd yes and then didn't show up but things happen like emergencies and accidents - I would reach out the person and make sure they were okay. I would in no way ever send an invoice to someone though, I would eat the cost.

If I ghosted the person I would probably pay it and not be friends with that person anymore. But if I told the person something came up and they still sent me an invoice there is no way I would pay it.

I would NEVER ask my guest to pay for themselves for not showing up. It may make me think twice about inviting them elsewhere but I agree that it is VERY tacky. Unfortunately that's the risk that you take when planning an event such as a wedding. Things happen and plans change.

I totally understand it sucks to have people not show up but it's tacky to invoice them. at the end of the day you planned the wedding and paid for it regardless with the mindset that you're inviting people to come that you're hosting, and so it's like... it's not some financial transaction or promise you're having with your guests ya know?

Yikes!! As a bride, I would never send an invoice to my guests! If I received this as a guest, it would likely end my friendship with the person.

I was really angry that my cousin and his girlfriend didn’t show up because they knew they weren’t going to be able to make it before our final numbers were due and just didn’t bother telling us, but I’d never imagine sending someone a bill for not showing up.

I would ignore. And of course realize my friendship with them is cooled off.

I meant to add that if I got this, I’d definitely ignore it and never speak to that couple again.

Part of being an adult is realizing that people won’t always come through for you and no one cares about your wedding as much as you and fiancé do. Weddings show people’s true colors whether they are supportive of you or not so believe the message they are sending.


I am very anti “pay for your plate” for a number of reasons. It’s no one’s business how much things cost except those paying the caterer/bartender bill. Not is there any way to begin to estimate. Also, it is very elitist in its origin and purpose: to weed out any and all guests who don’t make boatloads of disposable income because they are considered “too poor to attend” which is the opposite of gracious hospitality and kind manners.

We normally give $250 to close friends and family as their wedding gift. I would remit the invoice with a note saying please find payment in your wedding card. Enjoy your $10 gift. Then I would not speak to them again.

Of course, I would never just skip out without explanation unless it was a last minute emergency and I couldn't contact anyone.

View Quoted Comment Yes! The audacity!


I know people are raised differently and some people aren’t big on and/or haven’t been taught etiquette but to think that’s it’s okay to charge people to attend your wedding even if they didn’t show is so distasteful.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. I would definitely pay it and keep them at arms length after.

Yup, it happens. We had to pay for the 4 “no shows” at our local reception. I’d never do it but funny idea to send a bill to those guests.

I think this is extremely tacky. And if I got this from someone I'd definitely send it back to them with a bunch of laughing emojis and tell them exactly where to shove it. But then again I'm not a crappy person who rsvps and then doesn't show and doesn't notify anyone. It does suck when guests rsvp yes and then don't show cause the bride and groom are stuck paying for meals and drinks that didn't get eaten or drank. And maybe for people who said they were coming and then didn't show if they started getting a bill in the mail for their food maybe they wouldn't do this stuff any more and make sure if they can't come they notify the bride and groom.

But I still think it's tacky and rude to do. And definitely a friendship ending move. Someone who has the audacity to do this will more than likely be just cutting people out of their lives. Because I doubt they will continue to be friends with the bride and groom. Cause I know I definitely wouldn't continue a friendship with this type of person.

I would not. I think it's ballsy and tacky for sure. I know it's maddening that people no show. However, I would argue that people in general have no idea how much their head counts! When I started wedding planning, I was floored by how much everything costs and I'm in my forties. I can't for certain say that I never no-showed to a wedding in my youth. I had zero context to know that my presence/absence costs money. If you're looking for someone to blame for no shows, the fault lies in capitalism and the wedding industry for charging astronomical prices, pitting people against each other. What have we come to?


Don't plan an event that depends on every person to fulfill the end cost. If you're really going to be out hundreds of dollars if some people don't show, then reconsider the plan. Your wedding is not the priority of everybody's life.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this 100%

Well the guests were rude not to show up. Doesn't justify the hosts being more rude. Lost plates is the part of having an event. It's the cost of doing business.

I know this is a old post but I got married on July 31,2021 of this year. We were keeping it small of 75 guests and I had about 17 no shows, so we only ended up with a total of maybe 58/59 people and 11 of those were in our wedding party LOL!! There were so many whom were ready to come if people cancelled, so that is the part that pissed me off. I had people to fill in on the no shows if they would of given even a few days of cancel notice..SMH..It sucks and trust me my feelings are still hurt. It definatley wasn't the wedding I wanted.. But even with how pissed I was, I wouldn't do that.. Its just tacky, but I do understand..