How To Tell a Close Friend She's Not a Bridesmaid

What is the reasoning? Can you be honest?

Is she expecting to be a bridesmaid? Unless she was really expecting to be a bridesmaid and has said that to you, I don't see any reason to tell her she's not. It would be kind of awkward to tell her "BTW, here's something you aren't included in."

If she was expecting to and has said something, be honest with her. You love her dearly (I assume), but you want for her to be able to enjoy the wedding day as a guest for whatever reason. Is there any particular reason you didn't choose her? That might help us give you better phrasing.

Also, welcome to WW! I hope you'll stick around and update your avatar (the rings) to a unique picture we can remember when we help you in the future (and to tell you apart from all these pesky spammers we keep getting!) This post tells you how to do that and more: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

I like just being a wedding guest myself. The roles of MOH and BM are way over-rated IMO. Do you think she was expecting you to ask her?

She is probably not expecting me to ask her because I wasn't her bridesmaid when she got married. However, she and I have grown a lot closer since her wedding. What makes it awkward is that one of our mutual friends IS a bridesmaid. The three of us usually hang out together. Really the only reason I didn't ask her is because I already had too many people, and when it came down to it I chose the other girl because I WAS in the other girl's wedding.

Well, if she's not expecting to be asked, and hasn't mentioned anything about being a bridesmaid, there's nothing to say. Saying something is awkward because you're addressing a currently non-existent issue/problem.

If she does ask in the future, then we can try and help you more, but for right now, I don't think you need to worry about it.

Out of curiousity, how many girls do you have? And how are they related to you? Friends, siblings, etc.?

And don't forget that avatar! We have a lot of rings right now, so some of you are getting lost and mixed up!

Wait, is this a size issue? This screams "she's heavy" to me. Or stinky or something... Something is missing.

@ Jackie, I had two girlfriends that I was quite close to that I didn't make bridesmaids. I told one over a regular lunch date... and the other while I was drunk (not the best option for the second one). I explained I was just having my sisters & my best friend who is basically my sister (which everyone knows) and they understood that. I also explained I was already having 3 on my side and FH only had 2.

Unless you've promised it to her in the past or something, I see no reason why you would have to have a "sorry, but I didn't pick you" conversation. If she doesn't get picked, well, she'll figure it out, and she ought to be fine with it (nobody is automatically entitled to the job, after all).

I wouldn't say anything unless 1) You've previously told her she would be a bridesmaid or 2) she says something. I was a BM in a "friend's" wedding, and it was actually a shock to me..I mean, we were friends but not bridal party friends in my opinion. Anyway, since her wedding I was worried that I was obligated to have her in my wedding, then I woke up and realized I wasn't. I never acknowledged it, but she never said anything and I never told her she would be a BM....so I didn't feel the need to create an issue where there seemingly wasn't one.

I'm going through something very similar. My friend and I were very close a very long time ago. She now lives 6-7 hours away and has a tendency to make things about her aka she can be a drama queen. She was very excited that I got engaged but was upset I didn't personally call her to tell her when it happened (I posted a pic of my ring on FB) the only people we told personally were family. My fiancée thinks its a bad idea to leave her out but I just have a feeling she'll do something to put the attention on her. ( at my sister's baby shower she congratulated my sister then the next thing out of her mouth was "you know I can't have kids right?" and my sister cannot stand her)

I'm planning on a long an heartfelt phone conversation with her. Its gonna hurt but I hope she can respect my wishes.

I went through something similar. I had a close friend from high school and when we were young we always said we would be in each other's wedding. Through college I met amazing woman and the friend from high school and I just drifted apart even though we remained close. My FH doesn't like this friend and I also had girls I wanted to be with me more.

I told her I wasn't doing it to be hurtful and that she is still and always will be an important part of my life. I said it was a really difficult decision for me and that I was forced to leave out several girls that I am close to.

Most important thing be honest!

I also agree though if she isn't expecting it don't bring up the conversation!

I have a really close friend who I am not having as a BM and she assumed she would be. I felt bad but I've got my reasons. I've decided for her to do a reading at our wedding and explaining to her that she's still a valued friend and all. I also invited her to Bach party (only BM and her) to make her feel 'included' and like she's a good friend.